#not procrastinating

[mrbexwrites]

OC Ask Tag

Tagged by @the-golden-comet in this post- thank you so much <3

Passing the tag onto @queen-tashie @cowboybrunch @sarahlizziewrites @spideronthesun and @museandquill (plus an open tag) to answer the following for an OC of your choice: 1) Who is your biggest role model growing up? 2) What is a skill that you wish you'd spend more time on when you were younger? 3) Savory or Sweet dishes? Why?

I'm currently banging my head against a brick wall having written myself back into a corner (yaay!). Which means that I have plenty of time to procrastinate and try to clear the tag backlog so I can pretend to have been productive!! Lupine is a new character, and I'm still figuring her out, so this is a nice chance to get to know her some more.

1.) What location is always considered a home to you?

"I grew up in foster care, so I've always been bouncing around from place to place. No where has ever really felt like home. I've managed to lay some roots in Quesnel,Canada so I guess I can call that home? It's the place that I've lived the longest in, and I have no plans to move from there any time soon."

2.) Do you enjoy traveling with company, or alone?

"I spend a lot of time with Auggie, my work partner. We spend almost twenty hours a day together, or more, if we're on a case. We practically live out of each other's pockets. So when I say I prefer some time to myself, I hope you know that I am- at heart- a social creature. But I need time by myself with just my thoughts."

3.) How many landmarks in your world have you visited? Were they fun? Horrifying? A place to remember?

"I've done some traveling throughout my life. I was a medic in the British Army when I was a young adult; so I've spent some time in Afghanistan and Iraq, but I didn't get to do much sightseeing. I've blocked out a lot of my memories from that time; there's only so much death and pain I could bear to witness. I moved to Canada after my divorce, and I've seen a lot of Northern America since then, but again, most of it has been though work. So not much sightseeing. "My favourite place to visit has been the Athabasca Glacier; I spent two weeks hiking alone though Jasper National Park. Absolutely worth it. "

[putting-zooble-in-places]

I don't have a computer to edit the images on lmfaoooo

It's being repaired and parts are getting replaced

In the meantime, new requests are turned off. Current requests aren't being ignored, I just can't edit images on anything that isn't a computer

Such is life

[sleepylittle-wolf]

its not procrastinating, its air-drying.

[scarasbaefy]

hi everyone !! ermm sorry for not posting… i’ve been busy… totally busy… but i’m going to be posting an angsty childe fic later today 🙈 requested by my bff @exciidi (after 34676536 years)

[jenbunny-star]

I have shit to do today.

[thestarlightsymphony]

Tangibility

Spike POV

---------

Was it worth it?

The numbness? The broken bones and missed connections? Chasing and waiting and chasing, as if your future depended on it? As if running fast enough would get her to slow down and stay for one god damned second longer?

Time was all you had, and you gambled it on a runaway fairytale.

As if you could outrun your own fucking tragedy?

Time made you. Time owns you. Time’s sick idea of a joke is letting you live long enough to die in a painful enough way to regret ever being born.

You really thought you could outrun time?

Time let you love, boy. And it destroyed you.

Did any of it matter?

Was it worth it??

…

Yes.

Every shard of history slashing me to pieces would be worth it to have become something other than another corpse in an endless battlefield.

Forgive me, father. I never meant to care about any of them.

But I found a future beyond this wreckage of a man I dare to call myself.

A… future?

Never thought that was real until now.

I lived… what, day to day? Hour to hour? It didn’t matter. I was fate’s bitch and I was fine with that. Hope’s for the living, don’t you know?

There’s a thrill in meaninglessness. Meaning becomes a game; life has always a gamble but what if you don’t hold any cards? You’re gambling with seconds, betting your own blood and beating heart just to live another day. It doesn’t fucking matter, we all die in the end.

None of it mattered. I was free to be meaningless.

I hadn’t mattered to a soul; why should I bother with myself?

… And then--- and then she looked at me. For just a second, I--- just for a second, she looked at me.

Then a minute

Then an hour.

Those seconds, those minutes… were the first time I really existed in the eyes of anyone, even myself. It didn’t give me purpose to be seen; it gave me substance. I suddenly became tangible to myself, for the first time.

And I felt.

You think you feel when you bleed. When your bones crack in a faulty hit, or the cold steel of your gun presses solid and whole in the palm of your hand. Sure, you feel pain and your body and all that shit.

You think when you feel love, you’ll feel lightheaded and lighthearted.

I felt weight.

Pressure.

Something fell within my chest like so many bullets piled together, clattering in a sudden crash that doesn't shatter. Something new was created in me, or old and forgotten, so far lost that I’d abandoned the idea to my youth.

Was it worth it to feel tangible? To break a distorted reality just a fraction, if only to feel fear?

Yes.

Every second was worth it.

Love has no purpose.

Only meaning.

[comphyjost]

you guys i’m actually doing my school work in advance this week :)