#not tech support

[sntechsupport]

Hello Gear! We're reaching out to you to inform you that, due to several anonymous reports to Skaianet™'s Human Resources Department, you have been placed on temporary probation. You've likely already noticed the eyelid fasteners.

Don't worry, though! All you have to do to lift this probation is attend one week (chronologically spent, subject to temporal review, violations will be penalized) of helpful seminars on the appropriate use of violence in the workplace (weaponry will not be provided, you will be required to provide your own. Appropriate seminar weaponry registration forms are available at request at Skaianet™ Human Resources Office 2.99×10¹²²³¹, Monday-Thursday, 12:00 AM-2:56 PM).

We're excited to see you there! Don't forget your swimsuit!

Try again, smartass.

Gear out.

[sntechsupport]

Ignore Kevin. He's probably just jealous that he doesn't get to retroactively place ads for the game in old gaming magazines at just the right time for a player to reread one out of nostalgia and feel an urge to call the number just to see if it works. Poor guy is probably stuck actually making the ads themselves. Oh, also, I'd email you but then I have to answer questions like "why are you writing emails and not causing paradoxes, Minute Hand" and "why haven't you clocked out for the past several millenia, Minute Hand, we specifically told you to clock out when you sleep, stop laughing, it's not a clock pun"

-Minute Hand, the cooler Marketing Guy TM

How about we have this agreement: I don't have the foggiest about marketing, so I am going to let you pals do your job and trust that it is being done well. And unless you prove to be repeatedly that you can patch the code faster than it breaks, you are going to trust me to do my job well. And our two departments never have to interact again?

Sounds good? I think it sounds great.

Gear out.

[sntechsupport]

Maybe Gear is Single and WillingToMingle?

Am I single? Yes. Am I willing to open up my broken bleeding heart to another being to form a relationship based on hope, trust, mutual understanding and compassion? Hell fucking no. I'd rather fuck an angel trying to claw my eyes out, thank you.

Gear out.

[sntechsupport]

YOU BUFFOON! I HAVE RECAFFEINATED YOUR COFFEE! SUFFER UNDER MY DIVINE WILL

I sincerely hope that you are getting off on this, because all this effort shouldn't go completely in vain.

Gear out.

[sntechsupport]

Gear I really misunderstood that tag and thought you said YOU were a lesbian and I got really excited for a second and then I reread it and now im just sad. unless 👀

Last time I checked, my name tag didn't say Glue, my source code was still holding its integrity - duct tape might have been involved, but that is besides the point - and I was a man, you know, that group that famously can't be lesbians.

Now, don't be sad over that. If you need to be sad about lesbians, be sad about Glue, who found out that she's one by dating me for a couple of years. And then she got a permanently assigned to a job right next to me for the rest of existence's existence. Retroactively.

I am coping fine, I am just not doing any relationships again ever. Statistics favor the radical and decisive.

Gear out.