May 22, 2017
The NotAlways sites have merged into one. I’ll still be using the old tagging system as you can filter them by former site name (learning, friendly etc.), but I don’t know how this will affect links for things I’ve already posted here.
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The NotAlways sites have merged into one. I’ll still be using the old tagging system as you can filter them by former site name (learning, friendly etc.), but I don’t know how this will affect links for things I’ve already posted here.
(I’m in the printmaking studio with friends, and it’s near the end of the semester. Most of our projects are finished, so we’re helping the professor to clean the studio and preparing for the break.) Student #1: “Are you almost done cleaning the etching press?” Student #2: “Yeah, why?” Student #1: “Well, it just occurred to me that you’re shorter than the hand wheel on that press.” Student #2: “Yeah, and?” Me: “I think I like where this is going.” Professor: “I KNOW I like where this is going.” Student #1: “Do you get motion sick easily?” Student #2: “Not really, what are you planning?” Professor: “I think [Student #1] is proposing that we tie you to the wheel and give you a spin.” Student #2: “H*** yes! Let’s do it!” (We tie [Student #2] to the wheel using cleaning rags on her ankles, while she holds on to the other side with her hands. [Student #1] and another friend then spin the wheel around while the professor and I fling wet cleaning sponges at her from across the room. We have no idea, but a tour group of prospective students are on their way up, led by the department chair.) Student #2: “Oh God! I think I might puke. FASTER!” Professor: “You heard her, boys! Get that press spinning!” Department Chair: “…we have the printmaking studio! This is the largest studio space in the building and includes two etching presses, two lithography presses, and…” (The tour group comes in to see us slapping our friend with the sponges while she hangs up-side-down laughing. The tour looks horrified, but the head of the department doesn’t miss a beat.) Department Chair: “…and various medieval torture devices. And to continue our tour, we’ll now move on to the true horror of the fine-arts building, the sculpture studio. Wait until you see what they do in there…”
Puts His Own Spin On It » Funny & Interesting Student, Teacher, Parent, & Staff School Stories – Not Always Learning
Race Fail
(This story is about my older sister when she was in first grade. She was having difficulty in class and my mother arranged a meeting with the teacher. It should be noted that our community is predominately Hispanic, while my family is Caucasian.)
Mom: “So I am wondering why [Sister] seems to be having so much trouble with her grades.”
Teacher: “Well, some kids just have difficulty with school. Nothing that can be done about that.”
Mom: “The thing is, I helped her with her math homework and even though I know the answers were correct, you still sent her home with a failing grade.”
Teacher: “I just believe that some students should not be given special privileges.”
(At this point the teacher looks directly at my six-year-old sister, and says…)
Teacher: “I don’t care how blond or blue eyed you are, you will fail my class.”
(Needless to say my mother threw a huge fit about it and got my sister into another class. Fifteen years later my sister ran into that teacher, and she actually tried to start a friendly conversation!)
For the last time, Abigail Fisher, you didn’t get in because you weren’t good enough. Quit making up stories about ~minorities receiving special treatment~ and move on.
#StayMadAbby
To Samurais: Bronies Rule
I‘m a brony (male fan of My Little Pony). I’m also interested in Japanese names and cultures. During Japanese class, our class was told to use some form of Japanese name for the rest of the year. I’m dressed in a white shirt.)
Student #1: “I’ll just call myself ‘Ching Chong’ or something.”
Student #2: “Aw, man! That’s what I was going to call myself!”
Me: “You do realize both those names don’t exist, right? There’s plenty of names to use.”
Student #1: “Shut up, nerd! You don’t know anything about Japanese!”
Me: *in Japanese* “You dare challenge me?”
Student #2: “What the f*** did you just say?”
Me: *in Swedish* “‘You dare challenge me’ in Japanese.”
Student #1: “No. You didn’t! You just made up some words!”
(At this point, the teacher enters the room.)
Teacher: “Alright. What are you guys gonna call yourself?”
(We get to choose our names according to our class list. I’m in the middle of the list. So far, most people don’t know what to call themselves and just make up names.)
Teacher: “Well then, [Name]. What are you going to be called for the rest of the year?”
Me: “Shiro Kishi.” *literally, ‘White Knight’*
Teacher: “Oh? That’s… an interesting name. Sounds a bit like someone from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, does it not?”
Me: “That’s right.”
(The two people from earlier drops their jaws at this point as the teacher is known to be super strict. I look at a girl next to me who’s dressed completely in black and who has been looking at me during the entire conversation.)
Me: *in Japanese, to the girl* “I’m Shiro Kishi. Just call me Shiro.”
Girl: *in Japanese* “If you’re the White Knight, then I’ll call myself Kuro Kishi.” *literally, ‘Black Knight’* “Just call me Kuro!”
Teacher: “I need to take a note to give both of you an ‘A’ for the rest of the year, Kuro, Shiro.”
Me: “Arigato, sensei.”
(The girl and I started dating after that lesson. It turns out she was also a fan of ‘My Little Pony.’ The teacher, she, and I enjoyed discussing the latest episode in Japanese during class just to piss the bullies of the class off.)
...Mmm, oh my god! Stop fuckin' lyin'!
Thanks to @queenofmelons for this submission.
High School | USA |
Extra Stupid, History, Students
(I’m in my geophysics class. The girl that sits behind me isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. This exchange took place when we are going over Pangaea:)
Teacher: “Way back then, the continents were squeezed together into one super-continent.”
Student: “This took place in the past?”
Teacher: “Yes it did, [Student].”
Student: “Well, why didn’t the Pilgrims just walk across?”
A Class In Classy
(We have a guy in my German class who’s into the whole ‘swag’ thing. Crooked hats, Obey jacket, etc. I am called as a witness in court and have to come to class straight from the courthouse without changing. This was just before class started.)
Swag Guy: “Yo, what’s with the suit?”
Me: “Because swag is for boys; class is for men.”
(He wouldn’t look me in the eye for weeks.)
He’s not looking you in the eye because he’s horribly embarrassed for you.
No, You Will Not Let This Go
(I’m a high school junior. My school runs a five-minute student news show. There are two crews to run the show, and they alternate weeks. I’m on one crew. We play a song picked by a student during the closing credits. This happens not long after ‘Ice Ice Baby’ by Vanilla Ice came out. It uses the same melody as ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen. My crew is off.)
Crewmate: *hears song* “Cool! They’re playing Ice Ice Baby!
Me: *listening to lyrics* “No, it’s not. It’s Bohemian Rhapsody.”
Crewmate: “No, it’s Ice Ice Baby.”
Me: “No, it’s Bohemian Rhapsody.”
(We go back and forth for a few moments. Finally…)
Me: “Let’s see what the credits say.”
(They come up, and, sure enough, it’s Bohemian Rhapsody.)
Me: “Told you so.”
Crewmate: *truly surprised* “Wow, really? I never heard of it.”
(He was a freshman. What can I say?)
I want to believe that this is someone making fun of music snobs, I really do, but it’s far more likely that they invented this weird tale to feel superior without ever realizing they just made an ass out of themselves.
I don’t know what’s worse, that this post wouldn’t be even remotely funny if it were true, or that at least two people looked at this and decided it should be on the site. Bonus points for the “funny” title.
(For those of you who are confused, “Ice Ice Baby” samples Queen’s “Under Pressure”, not “Bohemian Rhapsody”.)
One of mine actually. I don’t remember if I put in the original story cos I submitted it last year but... the teacher didn’t just die. He strangled his mother and then hanged himself.
:-(