Train Wreck
Today you called. It had been two weeks and one day since the last time I heard your voice. You called instead of going to the gym. You asked if I was glad. I said yes. We talked for over an hour. Yet, you told me how you were going to stop talking to me again but I saved myself. You brought up the pics you posted and said you would’ve had I not answered honestly. You said I scared you. Scared you in that you know the way I think. You said you knew I was upset without me even saying anything. Why do you have to be right? You asked if I ever said things like “why is he with her?” I couldn’t admit it out loud. I told you it would make me am asshole if I did. You said that I was like that kid that wants to be put in the game. “Just give me a chance coach, and I’ll show you how good I can be.” You said this is the way I think. You said there has been a lot that you think of. Your friend told you that your wife was not the one. You said that it’s safer for me to be far away. You said it was going to be harder on me because I would want more. You said that you also knew that I would never be able to move to Houston nor were you ever going to leave Houston. That these were the things you thought of. You said we were a train wreck. Not an ordinary train wreck but a massive train wreck waiting to happen. I asked it was going to end. You said yes. I asked if it was ending now. You said no. I asked why. You said because we don’t know any better. You said once we started seeing each other it was only going to get harder because it would never be enough. You said it shouldn’t be this hard between us. You said so many things. I did too. I wasn’t quiet. Thank goodness. I would’ve made you mad if I was. What do I do now? You said tomorrow you would be out and that you knew it would bother me. That it was one thing when it was your wife and I know what I’m up against but it’s another when your out and I have no control over it. So much….I’m happy yet I know our time is in the final countdown if I don’t act quick. It needs to happen soon. I told you how it’s gotten harder for me and how you had warned me but I didn’t listen. Why’d you have yo be right?