This means I hate to be alone, and that I work best in a group.
This does not mean I'm lazy.
This does not mean I'm weak.
This does not mean I can't do things on my own.
This means I often feel that I want the same as someone else.
This does not mean I am spiteful towards those I am jealous of.
This does not mean I am not happy for those I am jealous of.
This does not mean I'm violent towards those I'm jealous of.
I'm 19 years old and I've always been told these things are "problems" that I needed to fix. My whole life I've been told to change, just because people don't understand that one persons "problem" is another persons "trait" because having a behavioral trait does not inherently make it a problem. It's how you deal with those traits that can make something problematic. If I use my co-dependency as an excuse to be lazy, or as a reason to say "I'm weak on my own feel bad for me and do things for me." I'm turning a trait into a problem. The second that someone is hateful, rude, or violent because of jealousy it's a problem. Otherwise these are just part of who I am. I'm not violent or hateful but I am quick to see someone do something, or have something and think "I want to do that!" or "I want that too!"
I feel like people view co-dependency in a negative light when in reality it's very helpful when dealing with things like anxiety, depression, or even jealousy. I'm co-dependent and because of that I form a small group of friends who I know very well. I know we're all working together and because of that their success is also my success. I in no way steal their spotlight nor do I wish to be the center of attention. But I understand that if one person in the group benefits from something we all collectively can benefit from it. If a friend of mine is successful I feel happy for them, and seeing someone close to me be happy and successful but still take the time to talk to me, and celebrate WITH me makes me happy. When I'm having anxiety I know people will be there for me, if I'm depressed I can be around people who understand what I'm going through.
It's 2015 and I feel like people should realize that not everyone is the same and that two people can have the same behavioral traits and react to them in polar opposite ways. While I have known people who get violent when they're jealous, I'm happy for my friends but still think "man I wish that could be me." I don't view my jealous as a negative trait but rather just a part of me. I use it as motivation to better myself and I see nothing wrong with that. I feel like we shouldn't be so quick to label something like "co-dependent" as "lazy" when sometimes it means "hates being alone" which is totally different but falls into the same over-arcing category.
