#notmadatyou

[bluefudgesworld]

You are one of handsome person in my life.... please keep laughing about us from there... #missyou #moveon #friend #biglove #notmadatyou #collage #collageart #collagework #bluefudge #freemix

[busstopthoughts]

Is it social burnout? And what do I do about it?

So one of the things I wish people understood about the ADHD brain is that we have social burnout. Most of the time, I'm okay but there are times when society itself just gets tiring. During those times, my executive dysfunction ramps up and I have to preserve my energy for things I need to do, like work. I pour all my energy into those things that I need to do, that sometimes other things get ignored or overlooked. Like, unfortunately, my social life and those in it.

Think of the spoon theory. The theory goes like this; disabled and neurodivergent people have spoons. Think of spoons as energy levels. We are allotted a certain amount of spoons every day, and certain tasks take more spoons than others. But when we're tired, those tasks take even more spoons. So while normally, things like cleaning and showering making meals and going to work may not take so many spoons, but when we're close to burn out, those tasks take much more spoons than normal, leaving us none at the end of the day.

Every once in a while, society grinds me down. I can no longer look at many positives and see a lot of negatives. Personally lately, for me, it's been people complaining about work and people complaining about the fire season woods restrictions and people complaining, complaining, complaining. On top of that, I have the anxiety of going back to my normal job after sustaining a broken foot in May. So my spoons have been depleting. My mellow mood shows it. The state of my apartment shows it. My eating habits show it. My physical energy shows it.

And so I tend to drop off the radar a little bit. Not so much that I can't be reached or people don't know where I am. Drop into work to see me. Shoot me a text. Call me. I'll probably answer. But it does get to the point that *I* am not the one reaching out.

But when that happens, please, please, please... stop assuming I'm angry. Or that something untoward is going on. Just shoot me a text saying, "hey, I know you're having quiet time, text me when you're done."

And yes, I do recognize that when I'm in these phases, I need to reach out and be open about it. But please don't assume I'm mad. Reach out. I don't get mad easily and when I do, you'll know it because I don't believe in the silent treatment.

What brought this post on was reaching out to my friend yesterday. I assumed I had done something to her, as she hadn't contacted me in a week. She sited that I had turned down going for walks or motorbike rides and she assumed something was wrong with me. So why didn't she just each out and ask? I don't know, but my ADHD brain didn't even remember turning her down for walks... maybe it was my foot being sore and I didn't want to admit it. I do remember not going out for a bike ride because I had to do laundry. And I remember my other friend calling me during a work day and forgetting to call back. I guess he's been asking people what's wrong with me. Nothing. Nothing at all. Call again.

Navigating a late ADHD diagnosis and burnout can sometimes mean masking so well that when your ADHD traits do come out, people may not believe it's ADHD. They think we're just moody.

But I promise, it's not that.

Now to log off. I have laundry do to and cleaning to do. Work tomorrow.

[thekillatapes]

HAPPY BDAY TO THE KLEECHA KNOWN AS @DANGOSUN 💖 You didn’t come through in the #trethreechallenge but we love you nonetheless. #notmadatyou #justdisappointed Seriously though. Thank you for years of laughter and friendship. #dirtswin #dango (at Miami, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/BvkHO6wlDYl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1t1a0iqg0dlhk