" when they go away, they never come back. ever." - lolla | @noturnurse
"No, they don't." It may not have been his wisest choice of words, but at her age, he had wished someone spoke to him with such transparency. His padawanship had been a unique one, he'd seen more war and loss than any of his peers—more than a fair number of knights—and he understood the isolation that came from grief, from losing friends and teammates who stood side by side on the battle field.
It was a lifetime ago, but he had only been a few years Lolla's senior when his own master had been killed. It was a sudden and violent end, and he was unprepared for the backlash that followed because far worse than emotional pain was the mental. Their well structured bond had been torn away from him in an instant and in a way that left him aching for years to come (and it wasn't until Anakin was well into his own apprenticeship that Obi-Wan was able to find closure with the missing pieces in his mind).
"At least, not in the ways we want them to," it was spoken at just above a whisper, a familiar pain pulling at his heart. "I know the Masters say the fallen are still with us in the Force, and they are, but it is so much more than that. They are with us in the ways we hold ourselves, in our words, our actions - we carry their lessons onward and as long as you are using the knowledge and care they imparted onto you, then they are never truly gone.
"And . . . I will not tell you to not feel this loss." His own Master would have said otherwise, but Obi-Wan was well aware of what damage such thoughts had done to himself. He imagined the young padawan's presence in the Force mirrored what his had once been: fractured, scattered, and rearching for something to cling to, and he had to pull back before he did something so reckless as reach back. She had just lost her teacher, she did not need another presence in her mind so quickly after. "Death is often so senseless these days, hard to understand and even harder to make peace with . . . it is alright to take your time in healing, but do not let it break you. I imagine that's not what Master Nazil or any of your battalion would want for you." / @noturnurse
