November 2, 2021: Write about a missed connection
Hard to believe, I know. But that was the truth. It happened one day, out of the blue. Before I knew it, I was driving to his apartment a few times a week to hang out and read while he did work for school. It's hard to believe that it didn't last.
It felt the most right for something, in a long time. Maybe it wasn't perfect, but it felt good. You know, the feeling of "yes, this could work," and "I feel like this is something I don't want to give up."
We were pretty simple, and maybe that's why I loved it. It wasn't complicated - it was easy. It was, really, really easy. He would get excited about some tech project he was working on, and would show it to me, we'd fall asleep watching movies with his head in my lap, I'd wake up to breakfast and coffee any time I slept over, even though he hated coffee. And by hated, I mean hated. But it was always there, and he would drink his chocolate milk, and complain about the coffee, and make it anyway. And maybe that's what I loved about it - that it was never about him, or me, just the effort, to make each other happy.
We hung out for three months. He moved to Ohio in the summer for a Co-op internship and when he came back, the connection just wasn't there. Maybe it was because I was working so much, or that he was focused on school, or maybe it was just meant to be a small blip in our timelines. It led me to finding myself, and understanding that love and like are more about a commitment than anything else, not just appeasing. It's more about being all in even in the times when it's too busy to do otherwise.
He was a good one. And I write this knowing that I will never hear from him again, and that's sad. It really it is. Because I would have never expected someone from a dating app to hold three months of my time over my head, and never on purpose. Just in the way that, yeah, it could have worked. It really could have.