[ 2 ] for sender to wake up receiver after having a nightmare and initiate sex as comfort.
Laurentius often dreams of being alone - not just by himself, but rather an irreparable kind of alone, a severed sort of solitude attained by failing to build roads to anyone, time and again. The kind of alone you see when you're too deep in the city and you look up: just the one star, alone in the half-burned bruise of a night sky above too many earthly lights. A small, shivering light in the conquering dark.
Before, this kind of loneliness veered so close to reality that it didn't spark any particular horror; after so much proverbial scar tissue, the same knife in the same place simply stopped producing the same results. There was ache some mornings, certainly, a hollow just under his sternum that felt huge and empty in a way he could never hope to satiate - but that was only some mornings.
Now: now there's Anri. Now there's a flat that he goes to when he's done with his work for the day. Now that's where his mail ends up. It's where he keeps his things. And there's a woman there, bright and perfect and where he had failed to build roads to other people for his entire life, now all roads lead to her - to home.
When he had nothing to lose, the empty hollow and the conquering dark didn't seem all that far away, nor all that different from his current circumstances. Now that he has Anri, they might as well be unencountered horrors, fresh and new monsters that shock and frighten him the way the unknown shocks and frightens anyone.
Tonight, it's enough to make him shiver on the far side of consciousness, and for one hand to go wandering over the sheets in search of her, of home. When he finds the curve of her hip, his palm clasps tight to the cool expanse of her bared skin, and he pulls her insistently closer, trying to bite back the anxious sob threatening to blossom in his chest.
For her part, Anri knows what frightens Laurentius, if only because it would frighten her too. She's seen his night terrors before; when his touch tempts her awake, she turns to face him, to press into his desperate embrace and to nuzzle up under his trembling chin.
"I'm here, love," she murmurs into the curve of his throat. "Don't fret, don't fret."
The brush of her lips against his skin is enough to drag Laurentius into shuddering, confused consciousness; he doesn't gasp and gutter so much as take in a slow, uneasy breath, then tighten his arms around her. He can feel the swell of her bared chest against his own, the heat building between them - and then Anri, still breathing sweet prayers into his collarbone, guides his hand down past her hip, and lower still.
"Here - I'll prove it," she whispers. "See? Do you feel me there, Laurentius?"
"Y-yes," he stammers. It isn't the nervous stuttering of those first tentative nights in her bedroom - just the jagged resumption of his senses, still emerging from the aching shadows of nightmarish sleep.
Her hand finds the length of him, fingers teasing over stiffening flesh as she gently guides him onto his back to climb atop him. Both of them had always found such comfort in the other's touch and affection - in truth, she would scour herself clean of her fearsome dreams through this heated, loving union.
"Yes," he breathes, more steadily. "Yes, Anri - god..."
"Just me," she giggles, smiling warmly at him. He stares up at her with the sort of naked, unreserved adoration that can only be found in the man's most unguarded hours, before a faint - and sincere - smile tugs at the corners of his own mouth.
Gods, she's perfect. His own star. Satiation for the empty. A light - a blazing one, a searing and radiant one - in the conquering dark.
"Just you," he breathes, taking one of her hands to kiss the palm as her hips roll down and against him. "All the divinity I need, love."