Broadway's Finest "Foe-lies" - Number 28
Welcome to Broadway’s Finest “Foe-lies”: a tribute to some of the best villain songs from the world of musical theatre! (No Disney songs allowed; already did two lists for those.) All throughout October, I’m ranking up my Top 31 Favorite Villain Songs from Broadway, the West End, and Beyond!
TODAY’S LYRICAL HINT: “Why can’t a fellow ever once prefer a girl who’s merely me?!”
NUMBER 28 IS: Stepsisters’ Lament, from Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella.
If you know even a fragment of a thing about musical theatre, then the chances are high you’ve at least heard the names Rodgers & Hammerstein. This composer-lyricist duo were responsible for some of the absolute most important musicals in the history of the medium, and created songs and stories that are considered the gold standard by which many more modern shows are still held up to. They were able to mingle fluffy, fun, often humorous musical elements with stories that dealt with subject matter much darker and more complex than most popular productions had done before them, and essentially opened the gate for later creators to see just how far they could go with their own musical constructs. Having said all that, their musical reimagining of “Cinderella” was sort of a surprising direction for them: it DOESN’T go into darker and more risky territory at all. It’s pretty much a straightforward, rather lighthearted take on the classic fairy-tale. It doesn’t do too much that’s really new or out of left field with the story, it doesn’t use it as an allegory or push some deeper moral or message through it, it…basically just tells the tale of Cinderella and does it with some fun songs. The risk here was not with the subject matter, you see, but with the medium: Cinderella was made originally not as a stage musical, but as a live television production. This was back in the 1950s, when television was still a very new medium, and nothing quite like this show had been attempted live on such a scale before. You MIGHT say this means the show shouldn’t count here, as a result, given my rules from the start of this event…but I feel like this musical’s roots are so deeply…well…rooted in theatre, that it should count. And while it was originally performed for television, it has - in times since - been produced countless times onstage, in companies ranging from no-budget children’s theatre groups to Broadway itself. It’s also been revisited on television twice since its initial debut: first in 1965, and then again much later in 1997. (That’s the version pictured here, as it is arguably the best and most famous version of the musical put to TV.) Much like some other musicals before and after this one on the countdown, over the years, different productions have added in, taken away, and generally altered songs in the soundtrack to fit their specific needs… …But if there’s one song that is always, ALWAYS present, it’s this one. “The Stepsisters’ Lament” is exactly what it sounds like: it’s performed by Cinderella’s two Ugly Stepsisters, as they watch the “mysterious princess” dancing with the Prince (not knowing the newcomer is their oft-abused step-sibling). The two despair over how it seems no one ever wants to marry them, and that no man ever cares about them, and wonder just what it is that this strange new woman has that they don’t? After all, she’s ONLY beautiful, polite, beautiful, graceful, beautiful, charming, and did we mention beautiful? CLEARLY the Prince must be out of his mind to pass THEM up over HER! Obviously, it’s a very tongue-in-cheek kind of song that leans heavy on the humor, but that’s what makes it fun. It’s easily one of the most famous songs in the show, and I’d be remiss not to include it. The only reason it’s not higher on the list is because the song is alarmingly short: it typically clocks in at under two minutes, sometimes barely a minute and a half. It’s fun while it lasts, mind you, but it doesn’t last long; most great songs - especially for villains - range from two minutes even to three or four minutes. Still, at least it doesn’t OVERSTAY its welcome, and maybe that’s part of its appeal: it’s short, it’s…well…not SWEET, but definitely very delightfully silly, and that’s always something to be appreciated in its own way.
Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 27!
LYRICAL HINT: “I’m a sixty-five million dollar circus tragedy!”
