in case it isn't obvious whenever I ramble, Nuroka is always taller than Ma'lash in my headcanons
I don't know how this originated but he is just tall. There's just something about a smol commanding officer with their taller second-in-command that I enjoy
In my head, you know, just by whatever mercy, Nuroka survives Alarak’s betrayal and you’re gonna see him with lots of scars, lost some of his vision sharpness and with some other sensory disorders, but still deadly a warrior and worthful a master, looking even more intimidating is his plain grey feet-long tunic than he used to look in his full armour.
I just imagine him sitting on a plain floor (stone, or covered with some carpets) with his legs crossed and just chilling. But the moment you see him you instantly realize that no matter what Ma’lash had done to him you don’t wanna play with this particular Tal’darim in any way there is possible.
I imagine how startled Alarak would be if those two met again.
• I miss you. Is that allowed? Am I allowed to miss you?
• You were right. About all of it. I should have listened.
And one to write:
• I don't expect you to forgive me. I just needed you to know.
I chose those because from what you post about Ma'lash/Nuroka I think it suits them ^^
Whenever you have time and energy ofc <3
fr this kickstarted me into my actual comic career, thank you Arivia for the ask <3 <3 I'll be doing the other asks in separate posts bc I wanna make them very symbolic
First up we got Am I Allowed to Miss You? which is a 5 page short oneshot that actually captured the exact vibe of Nuroka & Ma'lash that I have, also I'm very happy that this was the vibe you got, it means I've succeeded as a writer <3 <3
bonus points if people can spot who the dead silhouettes are (my friends have met their counterparts :33)
bc I fr am diving too deep into these two (aka I found my old fic that I rewrote once every year and it has 3 versions in total now, with this addition it'll be 4). IDK if I'll finish this but yeah this is it so far, my boy Lash is just ranting to himself over his dead lieutenant
Plot: Post-Ascension. The liar sheds his mask, but the only person he wishes to show the truth to is dead and gone.
Not explicitly a ship fic but there is subtle Nuroka/Ma'lash that can be both interpreted as romantic/platonic, up to the reader.
Also includes lots of headcanons + humanisation, ofc I'm always open to feedback & questions
“You knew, yes?” Nuroka’s gaze burned like a living flame as he stared at my mask.
“You knew of Amon’s treachery.” His accusation emanated with a primal, instinctual rage. A wave of heat accompanied it as raw psionic energy smashed my barely formed shields into pieces.
“You knew He meant for us to die.” I leapt back when he dove forward, dodging another blast that would have annihilated a lesser ascendant. How could I answer when responding meant burning down the last bridge that connected us?
…Perhaps they were all destroyed last night anyway.
So I said nothing. The only answer was another shield, one he shattered all so easily under Alarak’s empowerment. The silence was a decision. A choice.
Just as the verdict to keep our Master’s true words a secret was.
---
“Highlord.”
“Ugh, what now? Can’t you see I have reports to read? God, I wish Nuroka was fucking here.”
Ma’lash muttered in frustration, throwing the recording crystal under his desk where it clattered sadly onto the ground. A small metallic clink accompanied it, ringing out in the silence that echoed across the meeting room.
Whatever discussion that occurred had been finished for a while now, and the Highlord was alone. The interrupting Ascendant swallowed, knowing the Blade of Amon’s temper and stood at attention as his commanding officer got up from his seat while glaring daggers.
“This better be important, or else your skull will be sitting in the lobby of this building to remind others not to interrupt me.”
A tremor shook through the other’s body, as a coworker had been disembowelled by the Highlord last Tuesday. “A-apologies! I carry word from the Seers, you are needed at the Temple of Rebirth.”
Ah, the shittest temple on all of Slayn where I am forced to speak on His behalf, and ‘motivate’ our people.
Ma’lash inhaled, but it looked more like he was trying to contain a volcano of boiling irritation. “Why? Send Alarak. He’s the First, he can deal with it.”
Not in the mood for religious nonsense right now.
“It’s the unbelievers,” the Ascendant insisted. “The High Seer insists you be there as the Truthbringer’s Speaker, to show them the will of our God!”
Of course it is. Everything is about Amon. His will, His orders, what food He wants for dinner. Nobody cares about my will, only His.
The Highlord’s expression was as unimpressed as ever. “Fine. Tell them I’ll be there in ten. I have something I need to attend to first.”
The moment the door shut, he turned back to the crystal that now lay abandoned under his desk. “God damn it Nuroka, faith is your strong point, not mine!”
The crystal was levitated back into his hands with his own magic. The moment he caught it, the metal claws he wore on his fingers dug into the shard. Piercing, crushing, marking it as though willing something -someone- to stay.
“Why did you have to ask- to know, to understand, that-”
He shook his head, biting back a strangled sound that could have been a plea.
---
Yes, it’s all true.
Nuroka’s… [belief] that Amon had betrayed us.
All those promises, all the glory, all of that power.
How could anyone resist when our society’s foundation was built on Him?
His word was law. His will was our command. His Chosen was us.
Few knew of the reality behind His intentions. Many leaders who fell before me lacked the awareness nor had the time to earn the right to know.
But I knew.
The moment He spared me, I knew there was more to just mercy.
Enough blood to fill buckets had stained my hands that day when I plowed through the Chain.
‘Brutal wrath’, people had called it. ‘Blessed by Amon’.
It’s more of a curse.
How could one understand a god’s intentions? In the language of Terrans, my perception of His teachings can be described as “I don’t give a shit”. Faking interest when advisors lectured endlessly about His teachings became old quickly.
I hardly cared about any sort of… faith-related teaching before He ‘saved’ me, even though this would be a death sentence to admit out loud- hence.
This crystal.
If anyone hears this message at all, then I am likely dead.
High probability of Rak’Shir, though there are low chances of assassination, illness, dying in so-called glorious battle.
Whichever way I died, I do not care. I have been waiting for my death the moment I murdered the Highlord before me.
It does not matter how many First Ascendants a Highlord kills, for they will not stop.
It only encourages this cycle of slaughter that cripples our people, as every person wants to reach the top.
I have to give Him credit. He uses ambition, pride, suspicion, and greed to entice and smother; He abuses trust, admiration and idolisation to build connections. He makes promises and gifts others the light they need to continue on.
It’s the one thing I admire from His Great Work, weaponising and using the weakness of others.
But no gift could amount to what was stolen from me, and what He just took from me with all His lies-
---
No.
“Stop. Don’t sound so goddamn emotional.” He slapped himself gently on the cheek. “You’re the Highlord, Ma’lash. Act like one. You’re not mourning, you’re stating what Amon took from you- your people.”
The corrections were hitting a nerve, and the Blade of Amon scowled. The crystal reflected his image back, almost mocking his denial. Ma’lash glared at it back, before inhaling deeply and resummoning his composure. “He doesn’t matter, you’ve killed countless Firsts before him-”
Violet eyes.
Bloody robe.
That look in his eyes that screamed why didn’t you tell me-
Ma’lash paused mid-rant, discomfort settling in as he wiped sweat from his forehead. There was a wave of humidity filling the now heated room.
He made a noise that was a mix of an exasperated sigh and knowing chuckle.
“Haunting my air conditioning now, are you?”
He shook his head and picked up the recording crystal again.
“...This was meant for you, anyway. You just… couldn’t make it.”
Thank you for reading if you got this far <3
Ofc I'm always open to feedback & questions
Can you please get into details of his relationship with Ma'lash?
Whenever you have the time and strength ofc
Okay warning Arivia, this is super long. If you want the TLDR, go to the Conclusion at the end, otherwise you'll get my monstrosity of a super essay (and some art):
Nuroka & Ma’lash: Death in Revelation and Survival in Silence
Nuroka and Ma’lash are direct parallels in how they react to the truth of Amon’s false promise; and while the relationship is not detailed in Canon at all, I brainstormed this whole mutual respect/love-hate relationship with them. (when I was smol I shipped them so hard and now it depends on the AU; I don’t really mind platonic/romantic for these two)
In Canon Nuroka and Ma’lash don’t physically interact with each other until Ascension Part 4. And even here, they just fight and yell at each other- Nuroka almost kills Ma’lash, Alarak figures out a loophole and betrays Nuroka, Ma’lash delays Nuroka from dawn to sunset then kills him. But ofc being me, I hyperfixate-
Nuroka’s Despair: How long have you kept us- kept me- in the dark?
The previous dialogue Nuroka has about Ma’lash in Parts 2 and 3, and even Part 4 feels strangely personal, at least in my opinion. Nuroka’s first description starts with explicit dark humour in “I want Highlord Ma’lash to be revealed, though he will not live long enough to suffer properly for it”, which surprisingly reveals a lot since he himself is not sadistic and is revolted by torture. As Nuroka is painfully blunt, I interpreted the ‘dark humour’ as a self-mocking [I can’t believe I was blind to you (Ma’lash) for so long].
Hence I headcanon he trusted Ma’lash genuinely, and Ma’lash deceived him in the worst way- as I said before, Nuroka’s faith in Amon is his pillar of strength, and when it broke he broke too. I add to both their backstories and say Nuroka in a way was exactly what Ma’lash needed to maintain stability in the Chain (as only the First can challenge the Highlord).
To Ma’lash, Nuroka was the perfect First Ascendant who was faithful, and didn’t question his orders so long as Ma’lash convinced him it was ‘the Will of Amon’. He was efficient, logical, could provide great strategic insight on things Ma’lash missed, and always got things done. If he had questions Ma’lash would answer them, and he would often act in his place at times because he’s familiar with how Ma’lash wants a situation handled.
However Ma’lash being non-religious himself knew he was walking a tightrope, that if Nuroka ever knew the truth it would shatter him- hence why he tried so hard to keep Amon’s promise to himself. But one night when he was tired/not completely focused, Nuroka asked if he knew all of Amon’s secrets, to which he responded No. Ma’lash himself likely didn’t think much of his answer and maybe even forgot how he responded was not the best way, but Nuroka remembered. And then he actively tried to glimpse Amon’s glory bc in his mind Ma’lash’s answer = He doesn’t know either? This is important then, I gotta figure this out so we both know what our amazing holy God’s promise is!
Which leads to this next description here-
“Highlord Ma’lash once admitted even he did not know all of Amon’s secrets. I delved deep into the Void. I sought to know Amon's hidden thoughts. I wanted a glimpse of the glory He promised us.” Nuroka's robe was growing damp with more blood, as if his anger were spilling out. His heartbeat must have been racing with rage.
Alarak describes rage, but I feel like it’s also grief. Grief that the leader, comrade and perhaps mentor/friend that Nuroka looked up to had lied on everything he believed in, and kept it a secret. Hence that culminates into Nuroka feeling so betrayed because that’s personal to him, and everything he says is so targeted from then on.
“There was nothing to interpret. It was clear. Amon’s ascension is our oblivion. He means to erase everything the xel'naga wrought. Including us. He wants us all scattered to dust, along with every planet and every star. That is His final goal. And Ma’lash, that fool, he knows.”
The choice of word being ‘fool’ here is interesting. He doesn’t say traitor or liar, but fool. I feel like Nuroka was trying to convince himself, to justify that there has to be a reason why Ma’lash did that but was unable to find one. Hence he calls Ma’lash a fool instead for being blind to Amon’s true intentions and blames him for inaction. (In my HCs this parallels bc Ma’lash literally could not act and decided not to, bc if he did act then everyone would think he’s insane and the Tal’darim would essentially self-destruct)
And now this- during Rak’Shir Nuroka finally asks.
(I speedran this monochrome panel test -there’s a fair bit of contrast + symbolism here- after finally finding the vector tool to fix my speech bubbles. This is one of my many depictions of Ascension bc half of my AUs branch here and the rest split beforehand. This one I consider somewhat close to Canon but separate bc Ma’lash doesn’t lose his mask -he doesn’t even get physically injured-, this is an excuse to draw his eyes before I cover it up)
“You knew, yes?” Nuroka seethed. “You knew of Amon’s treachery. You knew He meant for us to die.”
Ma'lash did not respond. He raised barriers of energy against Nuroka. They were smashed to pieces almost before they were formed. Step by step, he was forced toward the eastern pit.
The seething is anger at lying, but also for betrayal. The anaphora of “You” drives home how truly damaged Nuroka was- You (Ma’lash) lied to me, you knew and you told me nothing. Why didn’t you trust me? In a way I think Nuroka believed Ma’lash should have told him but this is just speculation.
And imo Ma’lash’s response of silence to any question is a mix of acknowledgement, regret, and a silent sorry- I couldn’t have told you because I knew this would happen and I don’t want to fight you. There’s also hyperanalysis where I go the barriers being smashed before formation is how Nuroka refuses to hear any explanation from Ma’lash anymore.
And then it’s not really much afterwards bc Alarak backstabs Nuroka with custom vs law and we pay our respects to Ruru because rest in peace. And now for silent man-
Ma’lash’s Silence: I didn’t want you to know the truth because that would keep you [safe].
(another lil headcanon doodle, these outfits are entirely my own)
Ma’lash has no thoughts/feelings on Nuroka in Ascension apart from dealing with his heresy, so his section is entirely headcanon- I put Ma’lash as really really tired from managing not just 12 million people on Slayn but also Tal’darim on other planets and serving Amon and his right-hand Narud (also a Xel’naga -God-, Amon’s right-hand, I label Him as [the Doctor] in my writing and He helps Amon create Hybrids for His army).
(It’s debatable who’s older out of Nuroka/Ma’lash bc then the story changes but for this one that I’m talking about I’ll say ages unknown, however Ma’lash has been Highlord for a long time before Nuroka became First Ascendant.)
Ma’lash is pretty tired at this point bc he already knows Amon’s truth and the leadership of the Tal’darim high command haven’t been great for the past few batches and he really just wants a stable First Ascendant who doesn’t do stupid reckless shit. So when Nuroka became First after defeating the previous First, Ma’lash was surprised by how efficient and compliant he was. The good thing about Nuroka being so deadass blunt is that he doesn’t really have any super shady motives, plus Ma’lash can do background research anyway and find out about his origins.
After having Nuroka as First for a while, Ma’lash eventually realised he was very good to work with and entrusted him with a lot of major operations and missions. And over time he grew somewhat attached to Nuroka- as someone who had his back in this cutthroat society that wouldn’t hesitate to destroy him if they found out he was non-religious/a liar. He deduced that the only thing he had to worry about was Nuroka’s faith, because that devotion was on a level he had never seen before and was driving him crazy sometimes as Nuroka had endless questions about Amon.
And because he knew the truth, he knew deep down he could never let Nuroka know about the heaviest burden he bore every day. My Ma’lash is separate from Canon in the sense that his sadism is not a hobby but both a problematic coping mechanism to let out stress, and a twisted validator for his potential successor. Ma’lash cares about his people, but he refuses to get close to anyone or develop relationships beyond professional in my HCs; he can’t risk compromising the safety of his people for one person.
Nuroka kinda made him break this rule, and Ma’lash realised this was very disastrous for him. He doesn’t want Nuroka to challenge him, but once he does, Ma’lash knows how this ends. Either Nuroka proves himself as a successor or Ma’lash’s cycle of waiting restarts again. He’s so exhausted by this cycle but he doesn’t want to- he can’t risk someone unsuitable leading the Tal’darim.
He cared about Nuroka, more than he should have, and that made him even more determined to continue the lies, so he would never know the truth that would shatter him. And in Rak’Shir, he’s silent because he knows he has no excuse that would reason with Nuroka in that moment as the latter is so rightfully furious and hurt. Whenever he talks, he appeals to faith and labels Nuroka as heresy- he made his choice right here right now, to choose his people over Nuroka. Appeal to their faith, keep them in the dark, no one is allowed to question. Watch their Highlord destroy the heretical usurper, even though it hurts him on the inside.
And when Nuroka pushes Ma’lash to the edge of the eastern pit, Ma’lash makes one more effort to appeal to Alarak’s faith as well to turn the tides because he can’t have Nuroka taking over and leading the Tal’darim to immediate war against God right now. And he won his bet bc Alarak is a dick and backstabs Ruru. I headcanon Ma’lash delays Nuroka until sundown because he just really needs time to think on what the hell am I gonna do now. As by the end of the challenge, Nuroka would have died, but in addition the Second and Third Ascendants also died as well; there’s a huge leadership gap and the high command needs to be rearranged entirely.
Conclusion
And so in the end, to wrap this thing up, these two are angsty af with miscommunication, misunderstanding, and one-sided unrequited feelings that culminate into a ginormous mess. (If I talk about shipping potential it’ll be worse)
Nuroka trusted Ma’lash, believed in him, looked up to him as a mentor as well as a comrade and perhaps even friend. Ma’lash refused to form connections with others in fear of failing his people, but Nuroka broke that rule of his and Ma’lash was determined to continue lying to protect him.
But when the truth was out, Nuroka fought for the truth while Ma’lash stayed silent, choosing the lie and sacrificed Nuroka to save his people. He always put his people first, even though it meant killing the person that meant more than just a colleague to him.
I am so sorry this ended up super-essay again, and ofc if you have any questions I’m happy to answer.
