Anxiety.
I want to sit with myself. I want to be okay with being alone. Why do I feel the need to be validated by the world? boys? I went out last night. Got wasted. Hooked up with a boy I met day of. I feel dirty. gross. He was nice and so sweet but why did I do that? I always regret hooking up with people. I want to be better mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know how to take care of myself. I need to respect my body instead of beat it up. This winter has been hard for me. It is the first winter without having someone by my side. I am single. I’ve lost friends. I do not have a best friend and I am okay with that. Why do I feel so crazy? People say I am too hard on myself. Why do I get so mad at myself for not being perfect when I know that no one is perfect? My mind is going in a million different directions and I wish the chatter would stop.
