#nurulwrites

[nurulak]

besides, these days, pretending not to love you is a messed up way of loving you anyway.

an excerpt, throwing caution, nurulak.

[nurulak]

dear almost lover, there is something / about the way / we grow into strangers / that is so / tragically beautiful.

dear almost lover I, nurulak.

[nurulak]

there are madness / running from her toes / to the curves of her waist. there are prayers / dripping in between her fingers. here are beauties / where his eyes could never ever reach. there is love / there is always love.

there she is, nurulak.

[nurulak]

how extraordinary it is to feel so much while being so insignificantly small.

us against the universe, nurulak.

[nurulak]

when we fell again we thought / this is it, this is the end of the pain / and when the fall breaks and it still hurts / we laughed because we didn't want to cry / we laughed because we didn't know what to do.

in (and out) of love, nurulak.

[nurulak]

if a leaving sounds so much like an ‘i love you,’ take it.

because not all love stayed, nurulak.

[nurulak]

take him off of your shoulders / soak your feet in lukewarm salt water / pluck the guitar so much your fingers ache / do not grind your teeth even though it silences the longing / bare your shoulders so i can kiss them / sleep and dream of your heart in clouds / wake up and do not say his name like a prayer.

what the moon says at 3 in the morning, nurulak.

[nurulak]

and if ever one day, after leaving for so long, i happen to come back, know that this is never ever for you anymore; i come back for my body. for myself.

and it is not to fall back into arms that didn’t know how to hold me, nurulak.