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Life Update:
Helllllo followers!
Sorry - I’ve literally been absent from the Tumblr world, AKA ignoring one half of my goal this semester. I have, however, been reading! I’m currently 100 pages (this is A LOT for me) into Between The World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. It’s definitely been a super hard reading for me with all the literary magic and historical references, but also just the challenge I need right now. With my Facebook being dominated by “experts” in international politics, institutionalized racism, and white people who refuse to acknowledge that racism is still a thing, this book is a way for me to focus all of my energy on a single narrative. To listen, read, and feel without the ability to form my own opinion or speak against it. I mean, it’s a published book, right?
Lately, I’ve also been consumed in my schoolwork. I don’t know about any other STEM students, but isn’t it weird how emotional and physical stress comes second to academic stress? Maybe I should use some I-statements here: I, Angie, am literally INCAPABLE of managing more than one stress at a time. Two weeks ago, my stress was coming to terms with the homophobia within my family. A week ago, it was coming out to my father, who was notorious for being a racist and homophobe - luckily, things went well. With the support of my girlfriend, my two best friends, and some double chocolate chip pancakes at iHop to celebrate, that night of coming out was a lot easier than I have ever imagined.
-Pause: in case if anyone is late, I’m hellllla queer in all the ways (gender & sexuality). At this time, I came out to my dad as “gay,” because I’m not even going to try to get into conversation about other genders outside the gender binary.-
I told the rest of my family and my therapist about coming out to my biological father - and they were all proud and supportive. But part of me still feels empty. Sure, I’m out to the “world,” essentially. But I can’t help but feel that I’m being forced back into the closet. Sometimes I don’t feel safe or comfortable coming out to people, especially being at an engineering school. NYU Tandon has not proved itself to be LGBTQ friendly (or even women-friendly, tbh) just yet, considering “gay” is still thrown around as an insult and men are still doing stuff “like a girl.”
I’ve got to go study for MATLAB, but I’ve had the sudden urge to write a blog post tonight!
This is all I’ve got for now! Feel free to leave me any questions in my ask! :)
Keep swimming,
Angie
Motion, Sound Installation x Lightbox
Happy Monday! “I am an NYU Engineer”
I GOT INTTTOOOOO NYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
:D :D :D
HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE
WIRELESS STREAM, MS IN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING