#nyumustarter

[humphrey1x1-blog]

Guess who just touched down in NYC? This guy. What has American been up to besides hiring idiots to run the country. Let me tell you, being anywhere but here in this world has been fantastic. Highly recommended. But now that I’m back, and taking a break from YouTube you can find me on 95.7. Yes, I’ve gotten a job as a host on NYC’s Alt Rock station. I guess they like my voice?

[waldorfs1x1-blog]

Helloooo bitches, your fav new New Yorker just touched down in NYC. It’s time to get LIT. After twenty-whatever (what’s my age again?) years living in the good ol’ Bay Area (WEST COAST BEST COAST) I’ve decided to shake it the fuck up and hit the big city! So here I am! 

First thing’s first: where does a girl get a hook up around here? I’ve heard New York isn’t so down with the medical yet, and I only smuggled enough weed on the plane to last me, like...an afternoon. Anyone wanna smoke me up? I’m new in town.

[waldorfs1x1-blog]

I cannot believe that Chef Bobby Flay came into my bakery today! What an honor and a privilege to serve my yummy cupcakes to someone I consider to be a mentor. Excuse me while I pop some champagne an celebrate. Would anyone like to join me? Celebrating alone is just sad.

[humphrey1x1-blog]

Ladies and gents. The band is throwing a party tonight at my pent house. Don't spread the word too much. Open bar. Come join us for an exclusive premiere of the band’s new song. If not, well too bad. What are you doing that's better than this?

[waldorfs1x1-blog]

How do poor people peacefully exist without retail therapy? I can hardly remember. If anyone wants to join me at Saks, please do! I need extra arms for all the bags I’m going to be carrying. I also feel like slumming it at Sonics after this, so I’m going to need someone with a car and the stamina to drive 30 minutes for a milkshake.

It’s a typical Monday, really.