on my latest rewatch of kpdh i noticed something subtle that happens with mira's appearance and design that really shows the depth of what's going on with her character via her struggles with her own identity and sense of self
that being how she's choosing to dress in a given scene, (yes, designed by the animators but in story, her choice) fashion being the way we choose to express our personality outwardly with clothing and accessories (why costume designing in film and other media is like, so essential as it is - the amount of thought that can be put behind any given character's wardrobe, as an individual or as part of a group ensemble, its more than just the style, it's the substance)
the important bit concerning mira here, being her costuming depending on the setting and the expected audience. public facing, she's all spikes and sharpness. the very essence of "fuck off, get bent, go away" attitude at the core of her interaction in the doctor scene. "yeah, that's right" she says, after scaring off someone trying to peer at her and glean information about her inner self. it's more than just a comedic moment with her character but something that gives us a key insight to her character and the potential painful wounds and secret shames she may be hiding. especially when we consider how her appearance changes when she's in a private space, most notably, with her girls, those she trusts and/or feels more relaxed around - the most "at home" with. (and what is a home if not being with those you would consider to be family. a home being not a place but a people as they say.)
that private self, being, much more softer styles and colours as well as aesthetics more traditionally associated with femininity. as well as, designs that are considered more 'child-like' (for the lack of a better term), ex. the fuzzy sweater with a cartoon dog on it. [side note: wow, i just realized writing that now that this really explains why her friendship with zoey could also matter so much to her since zoey would def have no qualms about being girly, silly, heartfelt and genuine. i can see now that having a person like that in mira's life after enduring what seems like a severe, controlling, demanding and claustrophobic home life, could be a good influence on her, someone so accepting and help to encourage her to believe she was safe to step outside of her comfort zone and embrace other sides of herself. ahhh, i could go on and on, but i digress]
i started picking up on this (which is a bit embarrassing that it took so long for me to notice in all my rewatchs since its not like its hidden or anything) when i spotted the blue hair bows in the first apartment scene with bobby. i remember how surprised i felt to see them, given how very "un-like" her they seemed when contrasted against the way one would perceive her character to be based on how she is, up until that point, typically depicted.
but then i realized, especially as i continued to watch while keeping an eye out for these details, that that was the point. her loud sharpness juxtaposed against her quieter softness. even her moments of being visibly concerned for and offering support to her friends, would seem something "out of character" when contrasted against the character's own way of branding herself. (ala, the golden lyric, "called a problem child, 'cause i got too wild, now that's how i'm getting paid")
Thus, the trouble here comes from the lack of understanding that she can be someone who cares deeply and so much when she is also someone who, through her words and outward appearance, is saying, "fuck off." there is so much i could write here with my speculations (low-key projections) as to what this could further say about her character (ex. being the black sheep of her family, how's she had to cope with having been the "problem child," how this outward show of toughness has messed with her ability to express/feel at home with her own vulnerability and softness, how those identity issues impact her self-esteem and relationships with others and those closest to her, etc. etc.) but i don't want to ramble on and on.
the most important thing to note here then is how this observation really makes her line in the finale song, "i should've let the jagged edges meet the light instead" the word jagged not referring to her sharpness here (b/c that wouldn't make any sense, her willingness to be tough or rebellious has never been her problem) but letting all of the contradictions at play in her personality, most notably her soft expressions of vulnerability, to be freely let out, alongside her aggressive bluntness, rather than adhering to one static image of herself that would fit neatly into predictable expectations, her branding so to speak.
like goddamn, this movie is so deep y'all. it really do be all about embracing the messiness that comes with being a human being rather than potentially destroying everything in the attempt to grasp an impossible ideal "perfect" state of being. and it is so beautiful 🥲
