rosenberg family reunion
the bitcoin uncle: jonah rosenberg, 48, he/him. third child of esther and enoch. husband of dawn. father of naomi and leah. grandfather of oakley. have you heard about bitcoin?
the live, laugh, love mom: dawn rosenberg, 50, she/her. wife of jonah. mother of naomi and leah. grandmother of oakley. can often be found at the local hobby lobby.
the influencer cousin: naomi croft, 24, she/her. oldest child of jonah and dawn. mother of oakley. crunchy granola mom influencer who posts tiktoks of her sad beige nursery and her preservative-free meals.
the cousin who’s getting married: leah rosenberg, 21, she/her. youngest child of jonah and dawn. sorority girl and disney adult who wants everyone to know that she’s a fiance.
the granola baby: oakley croft, 3, he/him. has never had artificially sweetened cereal.