One After The One PART 1 | Tom Holland x Reader
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Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Summary: What does one in a million even mean? Does it mean you’re the first of many or the fucking last? Does it mean that you’re somewhere in the middle? And what happens to the poor baby who ends up being the 999,999th one? Or worse, the one after The One? There ought to be some kind of prize for second to last, and second runner up. Especially when being #2 is your specific talent.
Warnings: Cursing, Suspicion, some Hard to Swallow Pills, and a million blurry pics
Word Count: 6.7K swipes left
Special Shoutout: Thank you @hypnotized-so-mesmerized for being a BETA for this chapter and for you lovely input!
-
“I can’t fucking believe you’ve got me fifth wheeling for this….” you sigh, as you blow strands of your hair away from your face. You walk briskly atop of the shifting sand behind your leggy friend.
All 5 foot 10 inches of her shakes with laughter as she watches you trip over yourself. She shrugs, “The more the merrier?”
You roll your eyes, resigning to a smile as she waves back for your hand to hold. You reach out and accept her offer loosely, allowing yourself to be pulled along.
“Come on, the boys are waiting.”
Right.
You watch the festival lights cast a warm glow at the edges of her silhouette. She smiles at you, bronzed, beautiful–– taken.
Over the past year, all your best friends started fucking dating each other.
Leaving you single, alone, and second best.
It wasn’t weird, it wasn’t unnatural–– but it quite literally happened over night. “This” is just your “new normal.”
You all still hung out, together, mismatched or separately. Nothing has stopped them from asking you to hang out, but there are times where you feel… The Line.
It was Common Sense tingling and telling you that certain occasions were more of a “date-night” rather than friendly get together. And the last thing you wanted to be was a cockblock to your own goddamn friends.
Like tonight, you were tagging along to the late-night-end-of-the-summer beach bar hop bash, with your two pairs of your closest friends. Sam and Ry, short for Ryan. And Liza and K, short for Erik.
Then there’s you, of course.
The three boys were waiting with drinks in hand, while you and Liza took your sweet time climbing the sandy stairs. This was the usual ritual, but you stood alone when you reached the guys. They paired off, easily, naturally, sweetly.
The vibrating radio-centric music drowned out the sounds of the lapping ocean, the conversation you walked into was near unintelligible, and the crowd was excited about something.
God, I wish that were me.
There wasn’t anything wrong with going to this year’s beach bash, as you go to it as a group every year–– it’s just that this time they were holding hands and you were holding a drink. It’s more sour than you’d like.
You were fine coming out “alone,” but who wants to be alone?
You greet one another with warm hugs and Liza immediately dives into a rant about officially moving in with K, and about how he doesn’t wanna mix his laundry with hers–– all those new domestic nuances.
Sam rolls his eyes and exclaims, “Ry is the same fucking way–– like, it’s just cloth, babe.”
“Easy for you to say when all you wear is black––“ Ry retorts, pushing his boyfriend’s shoulder.
Everyone starts with a snickering laugh, clinking beer bottles and recanting similar experiences.
Tonight you just don’t feel like it.
Living alone and sleeping alone is one of your specific talents. It’s been nice to have your own fucking bed, your own fucking room, your own fucking space–– all of it to just BE your own fucking self, by your fucking self. You’ve been this way for twenty-odd years now (kind of, you know what i mean). Love and friends are welcome to hang out, but at the end of the day, the place is all yours. And yours alone. That’s what home means to you.
“–– But living together hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be,” Liza smacks her lips, looking down in short embarrassment. She leans back against K, “There are good things too.”
Sam is quick to point out their PDA, and you take another sip of your drink. You would have spoken up to contribute about your own experiences, once upon a time. But that’s a sore topic you’re not willing to relive on this breezy night.
Instead, you laugh along, crossing your arms while propping your elbow on the bar. You’ll let tonight be as rosy as it can be with no time to dwell. Your drink is near empty, consumed faster than you remember. Someone taps your shoulder.
“Hey.”
You blink dryly, resurfacing. “Hm?”
K is rubbing the side of your arm, those hazel eyes darkened in the low light. His dark brows were raised high, “You good?”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course,” you answer easily. You hold up your drink, making a smug face and down it to his bemusement. You shake the empty bottle, setting it back on the table. “Always good.”
He nods slowly, looking over at the other three still gossiping amongst themselves. You couldn’t hear their conversation, but you can only imagining Sam and Liza were poking at each other by the way that Ry was smiling.
K swings his head back to you, “Wanna dance?”
“Sure.”
And you follow him, aware that, no, he didn’t want to dance. He wanted to talk.
You walk away with him, unnoticed by the others and tracing your finger across a brick wall. He stops, leaning against it and you do too. Looking over him, neat clothes and nervous face, you raise a brow.
“Sorry––“ he starts slowly, scratching the back of his neck.
“For what?” You laugh, scrunching your brows as you nod your head to the muffled music.
“This. It’s weird, right? Us. All of us, dating. That last year we were the ones single and you were––“ he sighs, pulling his lip to the side, “Last year was totally different. And now we’re all here, still together. Together-together.”
“Mhm, it was going to happen sooner or later,” you muse. K has loved Liza since Day One. And you and him have both known it, and what it means to him now. His dreams become reality every second that passes.
“Shut up,” he swats at your arm. You see the curl of his smile behind the embarrassment, “Nah. No. But this must be awkward for you, huh?”
You shrug. “Little bit. I’ll get over it, you guys are still my friends.”
His eyes search yours for the real truth. They were all so worried that them coupling up would ruin something, between themselves and with you. Ha. You told they they were stupid for thinking that. You believe in seizing the opportunities, in taking leaps and following your partner around the world–– in theory, at least.
They confided in you individually and you told them all the same thing. Tailored to their personalities, but in the same conceptual vein.
“If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, then at least you tried and you don't have to spend another day wondering ‘what if..?’”
And they bought it. Now, that being said, you already knew that they all fucking liked each other so–– push her and push him and push him and him, and things will fall into place.
It’s just that… the new thing is that you’re the one out out of the loop. You used to be the first to know but now you’re last to find out. And that is strange.
You’re not their number 1 anymore. And there’s nothing you can say about it.
“You’re still my best friend, got it?” K leans his shoulder on yours and you rest yourself against him too.
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
Today, but not tomorrow.
It’s hard not to be bitter, and it’s horrible that there’s no remedy for it. FOMO is a new-age disease, after all. No science to sort it out yet, no justification to satiate it.
“So…. You talkin’ to anyone? Looking?” He asks too casually for a question he knew you hated. He bumps elbows with you and shake along with it.
“Nope,” your mouth pops at the “p.”
He raises his brows again, and argh you hate that. There was always someone you were talking to, or someone you’ve been with. But not these days. These days you felt too tired to be someone’s ideal anything.
“There are some cute guys around, looking at you,” his eyes twinkle a little too brightly for a straight guy with horrible taste. (Facts backed up by Sam, Ry, Liza, AND personal experience) “Plenty of fish, yeah?”
You shake your head, not interested. Sex could come and go, infatuation could come and go–– but you’re kinda tired of the short stuff. But not exactly ready for a whole-ass relationship either. You don’t need to explain yourself–– you just know you wouldn’t last the night.
“Not in the mood,” you huff.
“Tonight,” he says suggestively, wiggling his shoulders.
You both laugh, you a little bit dryly. You try to direct his attention back to Liza and their budding romance, as the trio finds you guys again. At first they didn’t immediately stand coupled, Ry handing you a drink and Sam going to talk to K. Liza smoothed out her clothes and you all talked about some new plans. It was an honest good time. Ry spilled his drink on Sam, and complained about the laundry again–– Liza got waaaay too drunk and you and K were holding her in your arms while she staggered like Bambi.
It was nice and warm, and a lot like old times.
I missed that.
You felt yourself smile and let loose–– not thinking of old ex’s or new flings. Just about the friends before you and how safe they made you feel, and how happy you are to see them happy. That’s love, right?
“Oh my god, look!” someone exclaimed, pointing a finger at the sky. You hear a loud clap.
As the night faded and grew colder, fireworks erupted into the sky with a loud crackle. You guys squealed and ran to the top of a sand dune, tripping and tumbling to see the dying summer sights. The fizzing calmed your calls. It’s funny how loud fiery skies filled you with the same awe every time. How it quieted you and made you feel small.
The couples soon held each other, soft embraces with their necks craned upwards. Their eyes twinkled from bursts of lights, smiling at the sharp crackles of sound.
Tonight was the one of many nights they would be able to spend in each other’s arms, so far away and close to you all at once.
This was the line you were cautious about–– you couldn’t talk to them when they were like this, out of courtesy. Out of honoring their moment.
You stood back, watching their excited faces instead of the bursting sky. You felt it. Not jealousy or bitterness, but the awful choke of curiousity and selfishness. The “what if that were me?”
It’s been a while since you’ve had arms wrap over your shoulders and kissed your hair. Enough time has passed for you to forget what that felt like. Too long? What was that like again?
The finale of fireworks struck across the inky, dark sky. You inhaled the smell of chalky smoke, tasting the salt in the air. Lights and colors fill your eyes, unblinking.
You suck in your cheeks as it quiets and you can hear the ocean again.
And you let yourself think, I want that again.
So with a new pulse, you went home and did the only logical thing in finding the next Love of Your Life.
You downloaded Tinder.
-
You avoided “serious” dating and being a “serious” anything to anyone, but seeing that “seriousness” in your friends made you wonder if you could be anything like them. If you were ready to open your heart to the possibility of loving and being loved.
Seriously. Sincerely. No bullshit.
This time.
At least, that’s what you told yourself as you messed around setting up a profile on Tinder. Regretfully spending way too long shuffling through old selfies that were engaging and enticing. You sigh as you pick through the lot, frustrated at the mind games that have already started.
It’s tiring.
And that’s probably why you end up cracking a few days later and end up telling Sam and Ryan. It was a short two word text, “Tinder. Help?” And you got a speedy reply from both of them (even when you knew they were most likely sat right next to each other). They were at your place in less than an hour.
Sam applauds your efforts, but is only there for moral support more or less. He’s an ace at the dating game, but has no patience to explain his ways.
“Typical,” You and Ry hum, as Sam rifles through your pantry instead.
Ryan, quiet as he is, sat with you and looked through the photos you choose. He broke down the psychology of it all; about the aloofness and whatever–– which you understood. You need to try hard, but not look like you are. Effortlessness, funny, chic, digestible, likeable––
“Performative.” He says flatly, “But this is fast and simple.”
And you have to agree, looking at your phone in his hands.
You blink as you reflect.
This is so much easier in fiction, in those movies where people go on a million dates in one week and match with the hottest fucking dudes ever. Where the protagonist has the perfect amount of self-confidence to keep her moving forward, endless chances to mess up and and still get the guy… God, it’s so easy on paper. There’s no dignity to lose. But here? In the “real” world, even on an app you could delete at anytime–– to put yourself out there? Mortifying.
But, at least you’re bored enough to try.
So, what the fuck, right?
“Did you tell Liza and K yet?”
“No, they would definitely try to set me up with someone real,” you laugh, leaning back on the couch. You wriggle your toes and tilt your head away.
Ry leans back with you with a brow raised, “Isn’t that… the point?”
Yeah, like, true. They have lots of friends they’re always trying to peddle your way, which is cool and all but… it’s a lot harder to pick and choose and ghost someone when you have mutual contacts.
He read the look on your face and nodded slowly, “Got it, got it.” He laughed to himself, perceptive and cautious. He extends his thoughts, “But you gotta tell us if you actually go and meet anyone. K would kill us if you didn’t say anything.”
“I won’t get into any trouble,” you squint, looking away from him mischievously.
“Uh-huh,” Ry affirms plainly as he swipes right on a few cute boys.
-
Your experience with dating apps was limited–– you made a joke account a while ago and never really did much with it. Then you had a more “real” account that you never tried sincerely with. You had real people you dated at the time–– uhm. But now, now that you’re actually on here looking… it is bleak.
It’s a Saturday night and you’re winding down with a glass of wine swiping through your options. People you actually knew showed up, and you swiped that shit away so fast you almost chucked your phone with it. You flipped through people who looked fake for real, some older dudes, and plenty of people with vibes you didn’t like–– the pool is so wide you almost didn’t know where to start. And you could afford to be picky, sure. It’s just, who knew that “too many options” would actually be a problem.
You spend the next few days idling checking and chatting, not getting any viable catches. You felt like you were just peering into small windows, head in and head out. Nothing caught your attention long enough for you to want to look in further.
You even start poking at things you never wanted to acknowledge as real, like the impact of cheesy bios, and deciphering who was who in group pics, and the thrilling amount of dudes holding up fish.
Pretty wack.
You felt yourself grow tired of it again. The adrenaline was waning, burnt to the stump. Good thing you didn’t try too hard. Pfft.
You sleepily swipe away on your phone, too late into the night. You blink hard as you snuggle into your covers, muttering,
“Just one more.”
Ah.
>> check out the whole bio here <<
“T, 23. Friendly, neighborhood romantic,” you whisper to yourself. You crack a small smile.
After countless swipes left, and (1) accidental swipe right, you match with a blurry boy–– super sus, I know. You don’t know how it happened tbh–– there’s nothing to “look” at, but your eyes fell on this one. Maybe because you just watched “Far From Home,” and enjoyed this spidey reference. Or you’re just innately drawn to the word “romantic.” Could be either, easily.
“It’s a match!”
Shit. You mumble, your profile photos floating together. You take a second to look through his meager collection. They were all obscure and blurry and not exactly in the artsy way.
You couldn’t decipher much, only that he had fair skin (?), with dark hair and dark eyes, but even that was questionable.
You’re pretty sure you matched with a bot or some old dude, or worse, a kid. You can hardly see his face in the pictures, blurry or cropped or covered.
Okay...
Is that his real name? Probably not. Is he actually 23? Doubt it. Is this going to go anywhere? Let’s hope not.
But whatever, it’s the first “match” that has seemed interesting in the past few days, solely on your pickiness. And this random bastards only gets you out of dumb luck.
You rub your eyes, and set down your phone, resigning to your stupidity.
You’ll deal with it in the morning.
Good night.
And the gears were set in motion as you slept.
You had a new message on tinder waiting for you, but you didn’t check the app until much later. You go through your Sunday morning routine, only opening your phone after a light breakfast and stretch.
“Oh god,” you blink as you catch the red notification. You look around the room, preparing yourself for what could be anything. You take a deep breath and open the chat.
T: Hey
Oh. You stare at it, so bare with no personality to pick at. You wonder if you should even reply, but by the grips of boredom, you do.
You: Hey!
You set your phone down, trying to swallow the short thrill. You walk away for a moment. A reply comes within minutes.
And it’s a goddamn mess.
T: Sorry, i’ve never done this before.
Strike one. You suck in your cheeks. While you’re fairly new at this too, you… don’t know how much time you want to invest it in. Here again, you debate replying back–– but he beats you to it.
T: I’m trying to get over my ex
UHM? Strike two, you almost have to laugh. This is just testing your patience. Your jaw wriggles as you see he has more to say…
T: And you look a lot like her.
Damn. Strike three, he’s out. He’s got to know that would put anyone off, right? Why would you even admit that straight out? T? Come on, man.
You: i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or an insult.
T: it’s an apology now, i didn’t know what to say
You: you could have complimented my killer smile or the pic of me with a dog. Anything but that
T: Right, right. I’m such a dickhead. Sorry, it’s nice to meet you though.
You hold your phone away, debating whether or not you should just delete the entire goddamn thing because this was just too stupid–– but it’s Sunday morning and what do you have left to lose.
You chew on the side of your lip, deciding to entertain “T,” but don’t spare him any soft words. You’d rather get straight to the point.
You: So… you go by “T?” And don’t have any real pics of your face? Are you even real???
T: Yeah, just private
You: kinda defeats the purpose of putting yourself out there though, right? Lol
T: It’s too easy if i put my face out there
You: oh, ha ha ha. So you’re saying you’re too hot to show your face? Love the confidence dude
And this is where you start actually laughing out loud. You wipe away tears at the side of your eyes, cackling at this display of internet confidence. It’s a tiny piece of amusement from a stranger you have 0 feelings for, and you’re not going to be mean to him… but you’ll definitely poke fun to see how far you can get.
Besides, he’s still replying back right? That’s almost hilarious in itself.
T: Hey, confidence is sexy, right?
You: yeah, more in person than online! 😂 (Laughing emoji)
You take a second to scroll back through his photos, and check to see if he has a link to instagram, twitter, anything. But he doesn’t. You try to pull up any evidence you can–– and at the very least, these blurry pics all look like they’re taken of the same person.
Slight build with dark curled hair–– rippable from any ambiguous online “hot boy” mood board though.
You’re wary.
You spot a picture with his smile, crinkled eye and lifted lip. You could swear he looked familiar… but maybe that’s because you’ve seen that same white boy/model on Pinterest.
Maybe.
T: wanna meet up and see for yourself?
You: maybe if you show me your face first
T: can’t do that quite yet, but I’d love to keep talking to you
You furrow your brows as you read his words. He would be down to meeting up with you upfront, but hesitates to send you a picture beforehand? That’s definitely a red flag, right? Right?
(Yes. Yes it is.)
You pull yourself back and let out a deep sigh. You’re probably the only person he’s talking to, especially with those purposeful (?) blurry pics and cryptic everything. Ugh.
It’s not playing yourself if you know it’s fake right? You can step out of this at anytime.
You: as long as you can hold my attention :)
T: I’ll try my very best ✌🏼 (peace sign emoji)
–– and with some very, very loose banter…. you end up exchanging numbers. You’ve put the whole Tinder thing on pause for now–– all four days of it. All for one stranger with no tact.
Unknown Number: hey, this is t (smiley face)
You: pfffft, I’m going to call you Blurry Boy. Since your name obviously isn’t T
BB: that’s fine with me :) mind if i call you darling?
You: ew
BB: o come on. It’s cute
You: please tell me you’re actually 23 or i swear to god I’m going to fucking lose it
BB: I swear 🤞🏼 (fingers crossed emoji)
You: ok. Prove it. Send me a pic of you–– you face or whatever
Ok. That’s a leap. He could rip a picture from anywhere but let’s see how fast he could do it. If it takes too long, then he probably did just rip it from the internet.
And if he makes a mistake and actually sends you a clear pic of himself? Well, that could only be seen as a win.
BB:
But you are ruthless.
You: ok. Send me another one.
And he could stop if he wanted to.
Only, he doesn’t. In a short moment, he sends another picture.
BB:
Same room, same face, same glasses. I guess you could believe him… for now. No matter how shitty the photos have end up....
But he could also be one of those people with folders full of stock photos… you never know.
But putting paranoia aside, you decide to turn off the heat a lil. You grab your coffee and sit on your couch, sliding into a comfy position. You turn on some YouTube videos on your laptop, watching the first few seconds as you lean your cheek against the couch cushions.
Phew.
You: thanks…. sorry I’m so paranoid. But you truly have the worst pictures of yourself put up there. Potato quality.
BB: nah, i know. I get it. Haha it’s alright, a pretty girl like you needs to protect herself
You: oh BOY that doesn’t make me feel any better 😂(laughing emoji)
BB: fuck, sorry. Ugh that is fuckin creepy. Shit. I’m terrible at texting
You: no, no. It’s alright. Actually, great job with taking those photos so fast. Most people would have taken sooooo much longer. You get a few points for not holding back
BB: babe, i told you. I’m gorgeous. I don’t gotta worry about it 😂😂💕 (laughing emojis)
You: right, right blurry boy. Great job with all those fuzzy ass photos. 🙄 (Eye roll emoji) haha are you really looking for someone out here or…?
BB: sort of. I’m testing out the waters and… you’re really pretty
You have to blink back and roll your eye, you’re unable to digest this conversation as real. They’re flowery words given to you, for sure, but your suspicion is much stronger. Your guard will not let down or be appeased by some blurry ass dude calling you “pretty.”
He replies before you have the chance.
BB: i dont wanna get into the messy details but yeah. Company sounds great right about now
You: yeah, i feel that
It’s a real and valid reply, but it’s a terrible one. It’s so hard for someone to reply back to that–– but you’re testing his perseverance. If he finds something to say back, it might just prove one more thing to you. That he might actually be interested, and someone worth talking to.
BB: sorry i lead with my baggage, I’m a fucking mess
You: *a confident fucking mess
BB: thank you 😇 (angel emoji)
You: don’t worry about it, I’ve seen worse
You laugh darkly to yourself. I’ve been worse.
BB: hahahaha thanks. Ok. But all that aside… real talk now. Can I ask you about the dog in your photo now?
You hate to admit that your lips curled into a smile, as you hastily type back.
Your coffee was half drank and cold by now. The YouTube video you were supposed to be watching has moved onto part two.
You eyes are still scanning your text screen, waiting to see those three bouncing dots at the bottom left hand corner.
He’s not the worst–– and at most, even if this turns out to be fake, this is just your Sunday morning entertainment. Nothing more and nothing less. These are just insignificant texts that will probably lead to a few lost days, or mediocre sex at best.
So, whatever, right?
-
MONDAY MORNING
BB: good morning! ☀️ (sun emoji)
You: well you sure get up early. Good morning
BB: Haha, I like to start the week as soon as i can. Do you drink coffee or tea in the morning?
You: coffee most days. You?
BB: i drink tea, darling
You: yeah that’s probably better for you haha. Less expensive too.
BB: mhm, definitely cheaper if you come over and i make you a cup
You: wow, the flirting starts the second the sun is up, huh?
BB: what, still too early?
You: never too early
BB: do you brew the coffee yourself?
You: some mornings. I usually pop into XX Cafe midday if i can.
BB: catch you there? 😂 (laughing emoji) nah, i’ll have to check the place out. I don’t know this area too well.
You: i guess if you can find me! I’m usually in and out pretty fast. Got places to be you know? Hm, did you just move here?
BB: yeah, i got settled in about a week ago
You: staying long?
BB: long enough
You: oh ha ha. Seriously not suspicious at all
BB: yeah I’m in town for a month or two. I’m getting away from work and stress for a minute
You: and you chose here?
BB: quiet enough for me. 😌 (smiley face) and you’re here so that’s a plus
You: relentless
BB: and nothing less.
-
MONDAY EVENING
BB: you haven’t seen that series? You’re crazy
You: whaaat! It’s not my thing. AND i don’t have time for it
BB: it’s a masterpiece, come on! Who doesn’t like laughing? It’s funny! You’ll like it
You: you’re gonna owe me a drink if don’t like it
BB: I’ll gladly buy you one right now if that’s what it takes to get you to watch it
You: ugh, i guess if you recommend it i can tryyyy…
BB: you won’t regret it!
You: ugh you are so annoying. What are you up to right now?
BB: reading emails and talking to you
You: haha what’s so important that you’re reading an email at like 11. Gotta turn on that “do not disturb” dude
BB: I can’t mute the work stuff, unfortunately
You: so if i called you over tonight you wouldn’t be able to? “Because of work?”
BB: you serious? I’m only taking serious offers right now
You: No! It’s monday. Can’t indulge you that early in the week
BB: what a shame. I’d drop it in a heartbeat for you
You: Nice to know
BB: I’ve got a feeling that I shouldn’t have told you that (laughing emoji)
You: 😈 (devil emoji)
-
TUESDAY MORNING
BB: good morning!
You: hey! I remembered I had some tea back at my apartment so… just wanted to let you know you had an impact on my day 🙄😊 (eye roll emoji and smiley face emoji)
BB: I could still make a better cup for you 😘 (kissy face emoji)
You: right. What do you have planned today?
BB: hmm, I’m heading out to the gym. Then I might explore the city a bit. Bump into me?
You: well, I don’t know if I could recognize you even if i wanted to
BB: you’ll recognize me
You: haha, okay? Wait, do I know you? –– if this is a prank…
BB: it’s not!
You: .. that wouldn’t be cool.
BB: it’s not a prank! There’s just a lot of things I can’t tell you just yet. It’d be a lot easier if we were able to meet up in person.
You: why?
BB: I’m pretty private. It’s really hard for me to just… share certain things with you. But I want to! SO badly! I just can’t send you a whole picture of my face. It’s complicated.
You: Sorry? I don’t get it.
BB: Ahhhh. This is going to sound so bad. I trust you, like as a person. But also I can’t trust you. If you meet me–– you’ll understand why. I’m sorry.
You: Okay…? And you have to understand that this sounds absolutely batshit to me, right? Like it’s pretty hard to trust you like this.
BB: yeah I know. I’m sorry. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me. But honestly, it’s nice to be able to talk to you like this and I hope we can continue to chat. I really do like you.
You: … That is really unfair.
BB: I know! I’m sorry. Give me another day or two–– i have a few things to figure out but, I SWEAR i’m not lying to you. I promise it’ll make sense soon
You: well, if you promise you’re not a creep….
BB: I’m not!
You: and that you’re not using me as a replacement for your ex
BB: I won’t!
You: you are SO lucky i’m patient
BB: and kind. And beautiful. And amazing.
You: you’re pushing it, blurry boy. I just need you to realize how unfair this is.
BB: I do. And I know. I’m sorry.
You: what are you looking for here? With me or with anyone you would have met from the app?
BB: a home away from home
You: yeah i read that in your bio. What does that mean?
BB: I’m looking for someone I can spend time with and trust with my whole heart
You: ha ha
BB: I’m serious. It’s hard to find.
You: you’re a real romantic, that’s for sure
-
TUESDAY EVENING
You: you have a DOG and you didn’t tell me?
BB: what, you’re not interested in the fact that I have younger twin brothers and another 8 years younger than me? ‘Always about Tessa
You: obviously! Send a pic!
BB:
You: is this from right now?
BB: nah, something I took ages ago. I had to leave her back home with my family.
You: aww, that’s too bad.
BB: would you come over if she were here?
You: Duh! And I guess you’d have to make me a cup.
BB: sounds lovely. Let’s make it a date
You: ha ha. You miss home?
BB: More than you know. I travel A LOT
You: well, call back often! They would be happy to know you miss them! Loneliness is not a great feeling.
BB: I do, all the time! And definitely not a good feeling. So, it’s really nice to talk to you. Thank you.
You: Sorry, I’m not a very great conversational partner. But still happy to hear that
BB: You are. You’re still here
You: You are too.
BB: You already mean a lot to me
You: Have you been in many relationships? (Or hookups idk)
BB: No, and not really. I’ve only been in a handful of long-term relationships
You: Interesting
BB: What?
You: Just wondering if you are really catching feelings for me
BB: Guilty. You?
You: I don’t think I know enough about you to catch anything. No offense 😬😅(cringe emoji, laughing emoji)
BB: Ha, no. I meant if you’ve been in many relationships?
You: Oh! Sorry. A few of either. Did long-term once. Didn’t work out, obviously–– so here I am. That’s that.
BB: Guess we both have a past to bury
You: Please don’t say anything about “burying yourself into my pussy to feel better”
BB: WHAT. I wasn’t even thinking about that. That’s all you 👀
You: Hey, you’ve been pretty quick all the other times, bud.
BB: If I tell you I want more than just sex, does that make you feel better?
You: It makes me think about the fact that you still want to have sex with me
BB: And I can’t deny that 😊 (smiley blushy face emoji)
-
WEDNESDAY MORNING:
BB: Good morning!
You: Morning! Little later than usual–– sleeping in?
BB: Yeah, since I can afford to. You replied quicker than usual. Were you waiting for me? 😉 (wink emoji)
You: Haha, you wish. I was already on my phone, stud.
BB: Right, right. I can tell you like to play hard to get
You: No I don’t!
BB: 😂 (laughing emoji)
You: I don’t!
BB: Wow, feels great to finally have something to hold over you
You: I hate you 🙄 (eye roll emoji)
BB: Have a nice day, love 😊🌈(smiley face, rainbow emoji)
-
PING!
“BB? Who is bb?” Liza asks you on Wednesday evening after seeing a notification pop up on your phone. She grabs it off the sticky cafe table and looks at you with her pretty head tilted.
Oh––
You wiggle your jaw, and raise your brows,
“No one important.”
You take your phone back and open the message discreetly. It’s nothing special, you’re sure, but you have to look.
BB: so have you seen the last episode yet????? Hello??
“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone!” She pleads, putting down the drink in her hands. You were at the mall, idly walking and taking a short break. She looks at you pointedly, eyes darting around your face for any spot of weakness, as she quietly whines, “You didn’t tell us anything about this…”
“It’s because I’m not––” You offer, nodding. You flip your phone upside down as the message lights up again. “–– seeing anyone.”
She gives you a squinted look of total disbelief.
You’ve been messaging “Blurry Boy” nonstop for the past few days. First you talked about nothing, and now you’re asking each other about how your day was going and what you’re doing now, and what you’re doing later.
You always find something. Your phone is constantly by your side, sound on.
And there’s a layer of real time now, now that you’ve gotten to know him and his schedule better.
You learn that he has his own cute dog name Tessa and that his family fosters dogs back home, and that he’s the oldest, with twin brothers and a younger one he’s been trying desperately to relate to. You find out that his favorite color is black and that he’s in deep shit for stealing his best friend’s fav hoodie. All of this makes him feel like someone you know, someone you could call a friend.
He feels like more than just some guy you’ve talked to waaaay too long from Tinder.
And what’s worse, is that he knows certain things about you too. He knows that you don’t like sleeping in the dark and that you’re borderline addicted to iced coffee. That you like rewatching old romcoms and classic spooky movies… That your back hurts from work and that you have a fucking dentist appointment on Thursday.
You know a lot more about each other than less. And that’s kinda really fucking weird.
“You’re always smiling at your phone,” Liza says flatly, picking her drink back up to take a long and loud sip. Major side-eye. “‘Fess up.”
“No, I’m not!” You say through your teeth, trying to not smile. But under her stare you melt and crack under pressure.
You keep telling yourself that you’ll stop replying–– that he’s super sus and this isn’t going anywhere. But… you just keep texting him back.
“It’s nothing, seriously.”
“Let me see,” she pouts. “Pleeeease.” She flaps her hands at you, wriggling her fingers.
“No!”
Even though you know that it’s a losing game with her, you try to put up a fight, turning away and holding your phone tightly. You have onlookers now from the squealing, kicking and creaking chairs.
You give in after a minute.
You hand your phone in defeat as you readjust yourselves. You clear your throat.
“Okay, okay. But this is like, not serious at all, okay.” You rationalize as you show her the pictures you had screenshot and saved from him. “I barely know him.”
Barely! You’ve chanted that in your head over and over. Not enough to know if you want to get to know him, or what to drop him. That’s the purgatory you’ve been living in.
Liza is uncharacteristically quiet as she scrolls up and down the chats and flips through the pictures. Her hair covers whatever expression she’s making.
That makes you nervous, and you start babbling.
“Yeah, I mean. I don’t think he’s real or anything–– It’s just for fun and it’s whatever. I don’t even care.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She freezes on a picture of him. The one where you can see a part of his smile and a crinkled eye. She zooms in and pauses again.
?
“Babe?” Her voice is cautious and slow. God. You don’t want to hear what she has to say next with this tone of voice…
“Hm?” You attempt to perk up, hiding the fact that you just gulped with nerves. It feels like you’re holding something sour in your mouth.
I don’t like this...
“So, he seems like a super nice guy and all but…” She speaks gingerly and wide eyed.
“But what?” You feel yourself recoil.
As much as you talk a big game… it would still hurt to have this illusion shattered. This self-inflicted fantasy. You don’t want her to keep going.
But you can guess what’s coming next.
...
“I… I think he’s using pictures of Tom Holland.”
…
…
…
Wait…...
What?!
-
A.N: WAH! she’s back!! well, as much as she can be. haha i know i have a million things always running at the same time but... i really will just ride the wave of inspiration as it comes.... that’s all i can do. anyway, hope you like this series! it’s going to be an exploration of starting new relationships in your young adulthood–– and how to handle be “The one” after “The One.” it’ll be a good time.
Thank you guys for reading! Please like, comment and reblog :) You’re all amazing.
Much Love,
Madmadmilk 💫
** i do NOT keep up with a taglist. track #one after the one to keep up with the updates, or check out my masterlist! thanks!