I'm reposting some of my older OB fics to AO3 that I pulled when I was upset with the show. For a quick explanation, I have stage 4 colon cancer and I have an estimated 2-5 months left to live. Ive had my old ob fics available on my server since pulling them but my private server that has held them for readers won't stay up forever when I'm gone. I'm starting with Fall Into Me only because @jaybear1701 likes the alien smut.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
@satousei13 gratitude in endless amounts for this remarkable art
and to @theglassintact @cosimacallsbullshit and @jenna915 for the helpful nudge of inspiration
Read in the entire work on AO3 or ff.net (when it finally allows me to update... sorry)
Chapter 40: Yippie Ki Yi Yay
Their appointment the next morning with Aldous Leekie went smoothly; Cosima’s familiarity with the protocol and the proceeding disarmed Delphine at first, until she remembered that her beloved was an old hand at divorce colony life. The two women sat across from the counselor at his cherry desk in fine wood chairs; they both had their hands folded in front of them, relaxed, respectful. Leekie lead each of them through the specific questions they could expect as well as the standard responses.
“Now Cosima, you’ll be called as a witness and asked to take the stand; you’ll state your name and swear an oath to tell the truth.”
“So help me God.” She raised her right hand as she offered the expected rejoinder, nudging Delphine with her knee in the adjacent chair as she did so, then pulling her frame taller, her back away from the back of the chair. Delphine smiled placidly, betraying no hint of acknowledgment lest her lawyer find their teasing indecorous.
Leekie chuckled and shook his head. “Ms. Niehaus, how you are acquainted with Mrs. Bowles.” It was jarring to hear Delphine’s married name, since she had insisted on Cormier during her stay in Nevada.
“We met on the train from Boston to Reno six weeks ago.” Cosima’s erect posture and focus leant weight to the mock proceeding and Delphine found herself growing nervous for reasons she could not ascertain. She kept her smile in place as her mind began to whirl.
“And to your knowledge has Mrs. Bowles maintained a residence in Nevada for the duration of your acquaintance.” Delphine’s heart beat too rapidly in her chest.
“Yes she has.”
“And to your knowledge has Mrs. Bowles left the state of Nevada for any amount of time, for any reason, during these past six weeks?” Delphine breathed deeply and tried to dispel the anxious tension in her abdomen.
“No, she has not.” Cosima affirmed, finally sparing a sideways glance at Delphine, who felt indicted by the relief that spread through her body.
“Thank you Ms. Niehaus, you may step down.” Cosima relaxed back into her chair.
“You turn.” She glanced at Delphine and winked.
Leekie turned his attention to his client. He asked her questions, many more than had been asked of Cosima, and she answered in turn; questions about her intention to divorce, her reasons for it, and her wish that it be granted today. He asked then about her residence of the last six weeks, her continuous presence in the state of Nevada, and her plans to remain
“And how long do you intend to make Nevada your home?” Though she, like Cosima, had kept her focus on Mr. Leekie through out their exchange, she couldn’t help the sidelong gaze she cast at Cosima on whose countenance she detected an eerily familiar affect; pleasant, but with a smile too stiff and eyes somehow farther away than Delphine would have liked. She imagined Cosima saw the same look on her face mere moments ago.
“Delphine?” he prodded.
“Pardon?” she replied, turning her regard back across the desk.
“How long do intend to make Nevada your home?”
“Did I not answer?” she asked.
“No,” he studied her carefully, “you did not.” She reached her hand toward Cosima, letting it come to rest on her knee. She squeezed.
“Indefinitely.” She stated matter-of-factly.
“Thank you Mrs. Bowles; you may step down.”
“And that’s it?” she retrieved her hand from Cosima’s leg.
“That’s it.” He replied. “So unless you have any other questions; I will see you both on Thursday.” They each shook his hand and left wordlessly through his heavy and ornate office door. As they walked out of the building, Cosima nudged Delphine with her hip.
“You ok?” she asked.
“Of course.” Delphine answered, certain that exploring her anxiety or Cosima’s was simply a terrible idea.
“You kind of stumbled at the end there.” she observed.
“I couldn’t remember the word in English. I thought I had answered in French.” Delphine lied.
“Ha! Too excited by your approaching freedom to keep your lingusitic bearings?”
Delphine laughed and shook her head, “Oui, I suppose.”
“Well, I guess we’ll have to hire you a tutor, and fast.” she joked. Delphine smiled. “or we could save the money and I’ll do the honors. Now, Delphine, repeat after me: Indefinitely.” She articulated each syllable clearly.
Delphine reached out and slapped Cosima on the shoulder.
“Impudent!” she exclaimed. Cosima grinned.
“That’s close,” unrelenting, she continued, “but it’s a little different. Impudent means sassy, now… listen to me: In-def-in-ite-ly.” Delphine shot Cosima a look of bemused indulgence.
“Indefinitely.” she repeated drolly.
“See, you did it!” Cosima wrapped an arm around Delphine’s shoulders, giving her a playfully condescending shake, “I knew it was in there somewhere! Now, say it three times fast.”
“Cosima, how long do you plan to keep this up?”
“Indefintely.” she winked, and Delphine shoved her off the sidewalk into the street.
It was commonly understood that indefinitely in most cases of Nevada divorce meant mere days, if not hours. In Delphine’s case it would be just twenty-four. Her departing ticket was for Friday, exactly six weeks and one day since the moment of her arrival. Cosima persisted in her teasing the over the weekend; besides surprise quizzes on the English translation of indéfiniment , she tossed in little comments at the end of conversations reminding Delphine of her impending perjure.
After an exchange about her choices between dormitory life or procuring an off campus apartment Cosima affirmed, “That sounds like a solid plan. You could have something all settled by the end of next week… you know, if I let you leave,” followed by an affectionate wink.
But when the conversation turned serious, as it did more than once in the subsequent days, Cosima betrayed no intention at all of hindering Delphine. She spoke of love, and missing her, and excitement at seeing what she might achieve. They cried (more than once) and laughed at themselves for crying. Cosima even refused to make firm plans about Delphine’s weekend trips, simply saying that they would see what happened and that Delphine needed to attend to the details of life in Berkeley.
They passed those peaceful and bittersweet days in the rhythm of ranch life, not retreating to the Riverside in the evenings, as Delphine found she would not only miss Cosima, but also the hotchpotch family into which she had been welcomed so earnestly and eagerly. She smiled waking to the smell of breakfast and coffee and let wane the guilt she felt at the lingering moments she spent talking with Siobhan over coffee, even as the others set about their daily chores. The intuitive older woman was no stranger to the settling melancholy that imbued Delphine’s gazes each morning as she surveyed the ranch from their usual perch on the guesthouse porch.
“What will you miss the most?” she asked as they finished their Monday morning coffee.
“Pardon?” Delphine asked unaware that her countenance betrayed any emotion other than deep satisfaction at her present circumstance.
“You’ve got the leaving look.” she clarified. “The one that tries to soak it all in.”
Delphine reflected on her own thoughts and realized Siobhan was right. She had been harvesting memories, admiring the way dust kicked up from Paul’s boots as he crossed the yard; breathing deep the now familiar mélange of smell that was the Double S: dust, sage, hay, coffee, and the slight tang of manure that perpetually permeated the air; absorbing the far away sounds of cattle lowing; the whine of long-arcing metal gates on their hinges; and feeling, with a profound and startlingly early sense of nostalgia, the truth that in a scant three days they would all be carrying on with out her.
“All of it.” she admitted deferentially. “This really is a completely different world than any I have ever known, and I could never have imagined feeling so at home in it, and yet I do, and have, and I will miss all of you terribly. All of this.”
“It’s a plainer life I suppose than what you’re accustomed to.”
“Not at all, Siobhan.” the younger woman hurried to correct her. “On the contrary, laboratories and libraries and endless stacks of paper, to me, seem dreadfully ordinary compared to this. A ranch is so very intricate, well regulated as any experiment, but with a pulse and rhythm that makes it magnificently alive.” Siobhan couldn’t help but smile at enthusiastic candor of Delphine’s comparison.
“You really are something else, kitten. It has been our privilege, for lots of reasons.” Delphine’s melted at the affectionate epithet Mrs. S usually reserved for her daughter. “And I hope you won’t be a stranger, and that you know you have more here than Cosima to come back to. We love visitors, even if they aren’t paying guests.”
“Of course,” the tightness in her throat held back her next words for a few moments, “I would love to come back, and not just for Cosima.”
“Well, I guess we better pitch in, or all of this well regulated experiment will fall to shambles.” She stood, her cup in hand and moved around the front of the porch.
“Yes, we better.” Delphine agreed but didn’t stir; an idea took root in her mind, and as she quickly worked through them, the details of her thought held her to her chair.
“I’ll take your cup in and meet you in the barn.” She had just stepped off the porch when Delphine spoke.
“Siobhan?”
“Yes?”
“I think I’d like your help with something.”
“Of course, love.”
“Perhaps you should sit back down.”
“If you like.”
They spoke for another half an hour, Siobhan eager to assist Delphine in anyway that she could, and more so once she heard Delphine’s plan.
“Are you two ever gonna stop jawing like a couple of old ladies or are we gonna have to finish your chores?!” Paul winked as he approached. “Can I get you another round of coffee? I think there’s enough left in the pot.”
“Thank you, Paul,” S answered, “but we were just finishing up. Though I would like you to go find your brother. I’ll need a little help from you both. Delphine is going to take some of her things back to the Riverside; Cosima is going to help her pack, so we will be a skeleton crew today.”
Paul smiled his mischievous smile. “Packing….. right…” a playful skepticism imbued his words. “Sounds like an excuse to kick off from chores and do some of that fancy nappin’ you two are so fond of.” He winked at Delphine, who took a moment to catch his meaning. When she did she blushed, but rallied her wit before responding. She looked him dead in the eye and replied.
“Only the fanciest, and you know the walls here are so paper thin, it’s hard to get in a proper nap during the day.” She bested him at his own game once again, and it was his turn to blush.
“Well, ride ‘em, cowgirl!” he said appreciatively and turned to go find his brother.
“I’m going to miss the way you put him in his place.” Siobhan said admiringly.
“And I’ll miss doing it.” Delphine agreed.
“Now get out of here; I’ll make sure the boys are caught up and ready to go on Thursday.”
“Merci.” Delphine rose and took her leave.
Though it hadn’t been part of her formal plan, Paul’s provocative banter had lead Delphine to thinking. She set her small bag, with a change of clothes and her more formal court apparel, by the hotel room door and left Cosima to finish up and arrange the train ready bags in the bedroom. She grabbed her Stetson and closed herself in the bathroom. Cosima yelled from the other room.
“It’s too bad we can’t just move your things to the ranch house, it would be a lot easier than this charade.” Aware that she sounded almost put out, she added, “not that object to any time I get alone with you.” Delphine grinned to herself as she responded.
“Yes, but this little charade is the only thing keeping me on schedule for Berkeley; if anyone saw us they could delay me another six weeks.”
“And lord knows we wouldn’t want that.” Cosima said playfully.
“No.” Delphine agreed, opening the bathroom door her grin having melted into a self-satisfied smirk. “We wouldn’t want that.” She emerged completely naked except for the white hat perched atop her blonde curls. She crossed to the bedroom door and leaned her long torso into the frame. She waited. Cosima zipped the final bag closed and hefted it up, turning to place it with the others to the left of the bed.
When she caught sight of Delphine, she did a double take. The bag tumbled from her hands and her mouth fell open. She was frozen in her tracks, dumbstruck. Delphine, pleased her overture had had its intended effect, colored with a rush of heat. Cosima, whose body also flushed with desire, regained her senses in the process. She sauntered over to scantily clad woman and purred.
“Well hello, cowgirl.”
“I think I remember you liked this hat.” She grabbed Cosima by the lapels and pulled her close.
“You know I did.” Cosima responded, trying to press back a little to take in the fuller picture. Delphine brought her lips to the corners of Cosima’s mouth and kissed each side, sliding the tip of her tongue over parted lips.
“And do you still like it?” she asked seductively, nudging Cosima a few steps back toward the bed.
“Yes ma’am, I surely do.” Cosima winked as she spoke. Delphine had begun unbuttoning her shirt, and when it was completely open at the front, she unfastened her belt and jeans as well.
“Take your boots off.” She demanded gently, stepping back. Cosima sat and did as she was asked, then she reached for Delphine’s hips; she pulled the other woman close to the bed, kissing her ribs and her stomach, dipping her head to kiss each hip bone and the expanse of flesh between them. She moaned at the sweet taste of her lover’s skin.
Delphine moved onto the bed pressing Cosima back as she straddled her at her full height; she leaned down planting an trail of kisses up Cosima’s mid line, gentle, sweet kisses, teasing with the lightest brushes of lips, tongue and breath. As she moved higher, the brim of her hat caught on the underside of Cosima’s breast and was jostled from it’s place. Delphine looked up chuckling at the interference of her sexy prop; she reached to discard it, but Cosima stopped her.
“Leave it on.” she requested. Delphine squared it back onto her head then Cosima used one fingertip to push it up higher on her forehead. “That should help.” And it did. Delphine was able to pay the most tender of attention to Cosima’s breast and neck and kiss her lazily. She put her hands over Cosima’s ribs and pushed herself up letting her hips settled over the smaller woman’s and letting them fall down into her.
Against the exposed flesh where Delphine had opened her pants Cosima could feel Delphine’s wanting. She reached down between their bodies and used two fingers to feather light circles over her swollen center. Delphine sat up even taller letting her hands move behind her to rest on Cosima’s thighs, offering more of herself to the eager fingers stirring incredible sensations in her most sensitive places. She wanted to feel Cosima as well and moved one hand into Cosima’s open pant front.
She was surprised how easy it was to find evidence of Cosima’s arousal and moved her hips even farther forward wishing for Cosima to find her way inward, to all of the places that gave her pleasure. And she did. Delphine then wanted to feel Cosima in the same way, but the denim fabric made maneuvering her own hand too difficult. She thought for a moment; she didn’t want to stop Cosima’s attentions but very much wanted to remove the obstacle to her own romantic imagining. She sat up forward again and stilled Cosima exploring hand, but kept it close to her body. She then threw her right leg to the left side of the bed while raising her hips and bringing her left leg under and to the right. Much to Cosima’s disbelief, she had completely reversed her position. Delphine’s hips then lowered back onto Cosima’s torso as she let go of her hand, making sure to apply gentle pressure so Cosima knew her touch was still wanted.
She was at liberty now to use her arms at a fuller strength to coax Cosima’s hips up and easily move the fabric down and off of her legs. She felt Cosima’s ministrations resume and let herself reach down between Cosima’s legs and enter her. The sensation of simultaneous touch was euphoric in a wholly incredible way. Cosima hooked her free hand around Delphine’s hip bone and used it to pull herself up to kiss Delphine’s back without having to pause in her other attentions. They moved and moaned together until they reached their endings, each finally collapsing, Cosima back onto the bed Delphine forward across the length of Cosima’s legs. After a few moments of glorious recovery, Delphine stretched her legs and brought them both to one side of her lover’s body. She propped her head up on her hand, hat still in place and stared adoring up at Cosima, clad now only in her unbuttoned plaid shirt. She placed a gentle kiss on her ankle and then asked, “How are you?”
Cosima laughed out loud.
“How am I? I’m incredible. What you did… hell I don’t even know what to call what you did….” As she groped for words Delphine interjected.
“I understand from your brother it’s called fancy napping.”
“Oh, it was fancy alright.” Cosima agreed, sitting up and moving her body to lay face to face with her the stunning woman she had just made love with. Delphine brushed Cosima’s hair behind her ear. “The fanciest I’ve ever seen.”
“And it was alright?” Delphine asked shyly, aware in her post coital posture of exactly how brazen she had been in her desires.
“Alright?” Cosima asked disbelieving, “There’s only one thing to say about it Delphine,” she moved up onto her own elbow, drawing their lips closer together.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Thank you to everyone for taking this trip with me. I’ve appreciated all the comments and encouraging messages. Sorry this story has to come to an end. It’s been one of my more enjoyable pieces to write. Thank you all for the continued support over the past 3 years or so that I’ve been writing for Cophine. Even with all the turmoil and my own loss of faith in the show, I couldn’t leave y’all hanging. I’m not sure what I’ll write of cophine in the future, but I’m glad I could finish this.
The sound of Moby washed over them and Delphine shifted a little closer. Her nose brushing along the length of Cosima’s, she enjoyed her seat on crossed legs, tapping a still-chilled jaw. She was rewarded with a brief smile before Cosima exhaled a cloud of smoke slowly. Breathing in the warm hit, Delphine held the smoke in before she met soft lips in a kiss. It wasn’t until her lungs began to scream for oxygen that she pulled away, tilting her head up to exhale quickly, but not without a cough.
She knew there were things they needed to talk about, things Cosima would probably want to talk about, but fighting over some dream she had a few nights ago was the last thing on her mind. Instead, she focused on the warm hand that slid up the outside of her thigh, fingertips tracing the seam of her jeans that were still damp from the rain.
Cosima smiled, her tongue peeking out from between her teeth. “Tell me again.”
Delphine traced Cosima’s collar with a fingertip. “I love you, Cosima.” The words slipped easily from her lips, each time getting easier than the previous. Cosima had yet to reply in kind, but she was okay with that… for now. Instead, she just focused on the slight disconnect in her mind and the feel of Cosima’s heartbeat beneath her fingertips.
“That’s so insane.” Even as she said it, Cosima pressed her lips to Delphine’s again, tangling her fingers in damp curls.
Delphine felt a chill run through her, bringing with it a shiver that Cosima must have noticed.
“We should get you out of these wet clothes.”
“I always seem to be wet when I’m in your bedroom.” Delphine joked as she leaned away from Cosima. There was a mischievous look that came over her face as she reached down with practiced ease and pulled her shirt off in one swift move, easing the material over her cast.
To Cosima’s defense, the look of confused hesitance was nowhere to be seen, instead taken up by a hazy confidence as she sat up a little straighter, pulling her own damp shirt up and off.
A smile spread across Delphine’s face as she captured Cosima’s cheek in her hand. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitance, just a small smirk.
Delphine pulled her forward for a deep kiss. As hands pressed against her bare sides, she lost all care. It didn’t matter about the fight they’d had or how they’d only first kissed days ago. It didn’t even matter that a majority of the students at school now hated her. All that mattered was that Cosima was her’s, and she was Cosima’s.
As they rose and stumbled together to Cosima’s low bed, Delphine felt nothing but a strange comfort washing over her, as if this had been the path she was meant to take all along. She’d spent so long thinking she and Paul were the perfect couple, but she had been blinded by his popularity. She’d been driven by the need for normalcy, to fit in and be the prom queen and king, but she felt more from a simple kiss from Cosima than she had in all the times she’d felt Paul’s touch.
Delphine felt her own hand trembling as it slipped over bare skin, clothes stripped away as their defensive walls crumbled. They were both full of clumsiness and uncertainty, each on their own path of discovery, but neither allowed hesitance to come between them. She had no idea what to do with her casted arm and she couldn’t help laughing as Cosima’s glasses clattered on the folding chair she was using as a nightstand.
“Stupid… foggy…” Cosima shook her head, finding Delphine’s lips once more.
“Are you sure you can see…” Delphine’s words trailed off as Cosima proved just how little she needed perfect eyesight. Yes, she was nothing like Paul who was rough and demanding, claiming her as his own every chance he could find. Cosima was careful and gentle, flourishing kisses along her throat and chest in reverence instead of dominance.
She could feel each stroke of fingertips, each brush of lips as though they were the tick of a clock, like the beat of her heart, their bodies keeping rhythm together despite the stumbles of their first time together. It was an eternity of exchanging kisses, of pressing into heated depths and nails raking soft skin, yet still Delphine was surprised at how quickly she found her entire body trembling, but even more surprised at Cosima’s trembling lips that pressed against her own. She wasn’t ready for it to be over, but still she wasn’t sure she could take any more.
As she was pushed over the edge, she swore she was taken to another time, a hallucination of an older Cosima pressing her against a shower wall, lips coursing down the throat. The vision melted away as her mind cleared and she was gasping for air, Cosima’s own gasps coming from beside her on the bed. She wanted to laugh, to scream, and to cry in relief, but instead she rolled onto her stomach, resting her arm around Cosima’s waist, enjoying their shared warmth.
“Cosima…” Delphine whispered, brushing the tip of her nose along the length of Cosima’s, a smile playing at her lips. The room was dark, Delphine having already asked her parents if she could stay over a while ago. They’d smoked a little more, had pizza and donned sleeping shirts before tangling together in bed. She was having an impossible time sleeping while Cosima seemed to have no trouble at all.
Cosima hummed softly, snuggling a little closer. One hand fisted around the front of Delphine’s shirt as the other was pressed against the bare skin of her hip.
“Cosima…”
“Go to sleep.” Cosima responded.
“No.” Delphine smiled, brushing her lips along the brunette’s jaw. “You should wake up.”
Cosima chuckled, her eyes blinking open. A smile spread across her lips as she ran a hand through blonde locks. “Mmm. Why am I waking up?”
“Because I’m awake… and I’m bored and I think I smoked too much.” She was feeling like the world was spinning just slightly, so she concentrated on Cosima. She brushed her lips against Cosima’s, feeling the lazy reciprocation. “Are you still high?”
“Noooooo.”
Delphine rose an eyebrow. “No?” She grinned. “I think maybe just a little.” She didn’t want to say that she was afraid to go to sleep. She was afraid of waking up to nothing being real. As the brunette’s eyes began to droop closed again, Delphine chuckled, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Cosima?”
“Hmmm?” Cosima blinked open her eyes again.
“Je t'aime.”
Cosima’s brows furrowed in confusion.
Delphine rolled her eyes. “I love you.”
A smile spread across Cosima’s face as she tightened her hold on the blonde, pulling her closer. “I love you too… Captain.”
There was a flutter in Delphine’s chest at the words, as if a veil of contentment had washed over her. “You know I’m not the captain anymore, right?” She gave her a wry grin.
“Yes.” Cosima brushed her lips against Delphine’s once more. “Go to sleep.”
Delphine nodded. She was suddenly exhausted, and maybe just a bit too high, she decided as it felt like her world was spinning. But something was wrong. She could feel everything spinning faster, making her sick to her stomach. Pinching her eyes tighter, she felt like she was going to vomit everywhere when suddenly the world stopped spinning.
Delphine blinked her eyes open, the harsh light shining in her eyes for the briefest of moments. Her body ached as she moved slightly, feeling nauseous and a pulling in her arm.
“Hey… you’re awake.” Paul sat up from where he’d been slouched in the chair typing into his phone. He had a slightly disheveled look, his jacket draped over the seat he was sitting in.
Delphine felt her heart drop. Her mind was filled with visions of two lives, two sets of years lived, or what she’d hoped had been lived. Of course it had all been a dream, but the memory of Cosima did not fade away as a dream normally did. It clung to her like an experience. Even as Paul stood, straightening his button down shirt, she recalled the feeling of soft hands on her body and smooth skin pressing against her own. I love you too, Captain, whisped past her ear, a memory of a dream.
“You’re not gonna pass out again are you?” Paul joked. “You’ve been out for hours.”
Hours… Delphine felt her brows furrow as she looked down at her body, covered in a hospital gown and a thin blanket. She wasn’t 17. She’d been so sure that she was. She shivered. Suddenly everything felt so cold. How could she have believed anything would change? She’d wanted so badly for her dream to be real. For Cosima to be alive.
As her foggy mind sorted through fragments of memories, that hurt more than any physical pain. Cosima was dead. There would never be a chance to explore any possibility even if it came 20 years too late, and Delphine felt her body begin to shiver.
The world was cold without Cosima. “What are you doing here, Paul?” Cosima may have been a dream, but that meant her history with her husband wasn’t. If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that she wasn’t going to be putting up with his bullshit anymore. They were done. Over.
“Hey… I know we have a… less than ideal past but… I thought we got past that. Give a guy a break. I still care about you.”
The nonchalance of his attitude sent a wave of anger through her and she was about to respond when she was cut off.
“You’re awake!”
The voice came from the door to the hospital room, just an octave deeper and slightly scratchier than she remembered and flooded with relief. The moment her eyes fell on brunette dreads and dark glasses, Delphine felt the tears welling in her eyes. “Cosima.” It took less than a second for the woman to be at her side, tender hands caressing the pale skin of her cheeks.
“Don’t you ever do that again.” Cosima complained before pressing her lips to Delphine’s.
Confusion evaporated, replaced by pure relief. Delphine couldn’t believe it. The once-teen was now in her arms, the same age as she was. In that moment, with the softest of lips pressed against her own, a wave of memories washed over her, settling in place where foggy fragments had once existed.
She was 20 and when her old memories told her she was supposed to be at a party for the opening of some movie Paul had been in, watching as he flirted with a co-star, she was flooded with the new memories of being worried and pacing in a hospital room as Cosima went through tests.
“It a good thing you got her in here. This kind of illness, the earlier we can catch it, the better.” The doctor explained, films on a wall backed by light revealing a clouded lung.
29 and she was wrapped around Cosima in bed, the day they had both received their doctorates, yet not as important as the moment she was holding the ring in front of the woman’s sleepy eyes.
“Make me yours forever, mon amour.” She whispered, gently nipping the woman’s ear. “I know it’s not legal, but that doesn’t make it any less real for me.”
As lips pulled away from her own, she knew she was crying. There was no way she could avoid it. Already her old life was fading away, what clouded memories she had of a life that could have been, replaced moment by moment by the life she was meant to live.
Looking into worried hazel eyes, she was 33 and a vague memory of Paul rippled out of existence, replaced with the picture of she and Cosima standing at the top of the Eiffel tower together, a second honeymoon once marriage had been legalized. Cosima had been glowing all night and she had attributed it to their recent nuptials until…
“So… I got you something.” Cosima had grinned ear to ear as Delphine unwrapped the white box, basically bouncing in place as her wife lifted the top to reveal a white stick, a pink plus sign blaringly obvious. “I guess it finally took…” She didn’t get the rest out before lips were crushed against her own, arms wrapping around her waist. It felt like they’d been trying for so long, so many shots, so much money poured into the hopes that one day it would take and finally…
Delphine buried her face in the crook of Cosima’s neck, her breath shuddering as it felt like she was living a lifetime worth of memories at once. At the age of 36, instead of walking in on Paul and his make-up artist, she was bouncing a toddler on her hip as she watched Cosima and Scott being photographed for the cover of Time magazine.
She’d been so mad at Cosima that morning, a small fight that wasn’t even worth mentioning, but it didn’t stop the pride she felt or the way her anger seemed to dissipate when hazel eyes turned almost gold in the studio lights turned her way, offering her a playful wink.
“Are you as proud as I am, Zoie? Your mommy is famous. She and your godfather are going to save the world.” She mumbled, pressing her lips against the girl’s temple.
And finally she was 38 and instead of dreading getting ready for the reunion, they were slipping out of athletic wear, the cool water of the shower running over their overheated bodies.
“Are you sure you’re feeling alright, Captain? You were looking a little pale in that last stretch. Maybe we should stay home if you…”
“Non… I’m fine… I want everyone to see how happy you’ve made me.” She mumbled against soft lips, soapy hands sliding around her waist.
“Oh you want them to see, huh?” Devious eyes blinked up through long lashes.
Delphine chuckled as she allowed the brunette to press her back against the cold tiles of the shower. “Well… they don’t need to know exactly how you made me happy…” She released a shuddering breath as she tipped her head back, lips traveling down her throat.
“Next time I say we should stay home, we should stay home.” Cosima laughed, leaning back and wiping away the blonde’s tears. Another quick kiss and she was looking over at the man standing there, trying not to watch. “Thanks for your help, Paul. Of course Miss Defiance here decides to wake up the 5 minutes I step away… I’m glad she didn’t have to wake up alone.”
His hands in his pockets, Paul gave them a small smile. “All in a day’s work… though I think she was pissed it was me here.” He laughed. “I’ve got an early start on set tomorrow so… it was good seeing you two again.” Grabbing his coat and slipping it on, he paused on his way out the door, looking back at the blonde. “Delphine… family life looks good on you. I’m glad you’re happy.”
Looking down as fingers intertwined with her own, light catching off the rings on her finger, she couldn’t help smiling. “Thank you, Paul.”
When they were finally alone, Cosima wasted no time slipping into the bed beside her. “I talked to the nanny and she said don’t worry. She’s got tonight handled.” Reaching up, she ran her fingers through disordered blonde curls, smiling weakly. “You scared me tonight, Captain.”
Absorbing the warmth, Delphine reached up to caress the brunette’s cheek, her thumb grazing over the wrinkles around the corner of the woman’s mouth. She didn’t need to look in the mirror to know her own were there as well, the wrinkles in her brow traded for those around her mouth… frown lines traded for laugh lines… a trade she accepted happily. “I’m sorry. You were right.”
Cosima laughed at that. “Oooo. The great Dr. Cormier telling me I’m right…” She leaned forward to nuzzle the blonde’s nose. “You should remember this moment.”
Delphine chuckled, pressing her forehead against Cosima’s. “I’ll never forget. You’re the one constant perfection of my life”
Her eyes lighting up, Cosima kissed the tip of Delphine’s nose. “Ditto… obvs.”
Delphine looked down as fingers intertwined with her own. It felt so strange. She hadn’t had a cast in 20 years but still she could feel the weight of it. “So… I’m not dying right?”
Cosima chuckled, pulling the thin blanket over their bodies. “Not anytime soon, but maybe next marathon, more electrolytes and probably a nap instead of shower sex.”
Delphine smiled, feeling the weight of the arm that settled over her stomach. “A fainting spell in exchange for the touch of a beautiful woman? I’ll make that deal any day.” Already, she feel her memories of a previous life fade away. Nature had a way of seeing fit that she didn’t remember a thing. There was only room for one timeline, one past and one present. Soft lips pressed against her jaw and she couldn’t help laughing. “You only want me because I’m naked under this.”
“Who do you think helped get you that way?” Cosima smirked.
Delphine could remember being on the dance floor with the brunette’s arms around her, the feel of the world spinning out of control and the sound of Cosima’s voice calling her name. “Thank you, Cosima.”
Hazel eyes blinked at her in confusion. “For what?”
Reaching up, Delphine cupped a soft cheek, her thumb tracing the woman’s cheek. “For saving my life.”
“It was just dehydration.” Cosima gave her a wry smile.
“Not today.” Delphine shook her head. “On that day, under the bleachers. 20 years ago.”
“Oh honey.” Cosima smiled, pressing her forehead to the blonde’s. “You were just a poor straight… genie in a bottle, Baby…”
“Cosima…”
Cosima laughed, wiggling against the tall frame.
6 months later
“Are you sure she’s ok?”
Delphine laughed as she pushed aside another box. “Scott… calm down. All newborns do are sleep, eat, and crap. She’s safer downstairs with Cosima and Zoie.” The air of the attic was full of old dust and cobwebs, roused mostly by their actions. Delphine sighed as she marked one more box before pushing it closer to the stairs.
“I can’t believe Cosima’s parents are selling this house.” He paused. “I can’t believe Cosima didn’t convince you to buy this house.” He added with a chuckle, opening up another box full of books. “Man, Cosima is such a hoarder. These science books aren’t even relevant anymore.” He pulled out a hardcover National Geographic book with a monkey on the cover labeled Evolution.
“But she is such an adorable hoarder.” Delphine commented, taping another box. “And Cosima loves living in the city way too much to move back to the suburbs.”
“Holy shit.”
Delphine rose an eyebrow, looking over.
Scott sat back as he flipped through a book in his hands, pages warped and barely legible. “I remember this book.” He thought back on that week in high school when Delphine had started talking to him for the first time.
“What book?” Delphine leaned over towards him.
“You don’t remember? Dude you went on and on about how you were from the future and you had to…” He let his words trail off, his brow furrowed. “Save Cosima…You were totally convinced she was going to get sick and die… which is really weird cause she actually did get sick.”
“Don’t remind me.” Delphine scrunched her nose as she grabbed the book from him. “I remember her being sick a little too well considering I pretty much had to drag her to the doctor,” she commented as she flipped through the pages. “Mildew books that are a breeding ground for mold? Not so much.” She tossed the book in the nearby trash bag without a second thought.
“Hey guys!” Cosima called as she came up the steps wearing a pair of overalls that were dusty from packing. “I’m completely starving and I feel like it’s been hours since we started all this manual labor.”
Delphine chuckled as she pushed herself up, dusting off her jeans. “We’ve only been here for 45 minutes.”
“Yeah well, we didn’t eat anything before getting here.” Cosima countered. “Hey Scott, what do you say? You like Thai?”
Scott eyed the book once more before shaking his head to clear it. “Yeah. Definitely. Sarah hates it so it will be nice to get it with someone who actually enjoys it.” Standing up, he dusted his own jeans off. “Let me go wash my hands.”
Watching him go down the stairs, Cosima smiled. “So… you guys having fun going through my old junk?”
“Scott thinks you are a hoarder.” Delphine chuckled, wrapping an arm around Cosima’s waist, pulling her closer.
“Not a hoarder. I just…” Cosima looked over at the boxes, having agreed to stay out of the way while Delphine went through what could be donated and what could be thrown away. After all, she didn’t even remember what was in the boxes so obviously it wasn’t anything too important. “I guess I wanted to keep every memory of high school I could find.” She grinned, wrapping her arm around Delphine’s neck, pulling her down for a kiss. “After all, senior year was one of the best years of my life.”
“Yeah?” Delphine responded with another quick kiss, rubbing her tip of her nose against Cosima’s. “What was different about senior year?”
Cosima rolled her eyes. “Gee, I don’t know. I mean… Scott and I did win that science fair…”
“Yeah?” Delphine laughed. “Anything else?”
“Well, I did rescue you from the mundane future of straightness…” Cosima chuckled.
“Oh is that what you call it?”
Cosima nodded. “Damsel in distress type shit, Captain.” She grinned pulling Delphine down for another kiss, this time pressing closer.
Delphine groaned. “You are such a brat.”
“You wouldn’t want me any other way.”
Cupping her wife’s cheeks in her hands, Delphin smiled, tracing soft lips with her thumb. “You’re right. I wouldn’t.” Another soft kiss and she pressed her forehead to Cosima’s in quiet contentment.
“Momma!”
Both women jumped slightly, looking at the bottom of the stairs. Their daughter stood at the bottom of the stairs with a grin on her face, or what they guessed was her face considering she was covered from head to toe in a white powder. A tiny fist was also covered and being shoved into her tiny mouth. “Mmmm. Good!”
“Oh Honey…” Cosima quickly moved down the stairs. “You are supposed to be watching your cartoon.” Lifting the toddler up, she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized it was just powdered sugar.
Delphine chuckled softly, watching her drag their offspring towards the bathroom. Standing in the attic, she had a few memories in the space, where she and Cosima would sneak off to, knowing no one would look for them there. Moing back to the trash, she picked up the warped note book, flipping through the pages. There was something familiar, something lingering in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t pin down what it was.
“Babe!”
Delphine looked over her shoulder towards the stairs.
“Delphine, can you help me please?”
Dropping the book without a thought, she straightened her back with a soft curse before jogging down the stairs, not bothering to give one more look back at what could have been.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Hey guys. Thanks for being patient. There's one more chapter after this. Thank all of you. I've appreciated all the comments and kudos and you guys have been a life saver being nothing but kind about this story
The Colony Ch 39: They Can’t Take That Away From Me
shout out as always to @satousei13 for this awesomeness
Read the entire work on AO3 or FF.net
Chapter 39: They Can’t Take That Away From Me
“What will you do, chérie, with all this power?” Delphine had asked as she brought the length of her body up to align with Cosima’s.
The smaller woman smiled whimsically, reached into her lover’s hair and pulled their lips together in a gentle yet probing kiss, the sincerity of which melted Delphine’s sinews, causing her to sink into their embrace. Cosima rolled Delphine over and continued to kiss her, lacing their fingers together and bringing their hands up next to her tousled blonde curls. She bathed Delphine’s neck and shoulders with loving attention nipping gently at her flesh and brushing it lightly with the barest tip of her tongue. She settled herself in the crook of Delphine’s right arm, and spoke.
“Well, as much as I want you around, I rather like the idea of being a perjurer.”
“Oui?” Delphine ran a lazy finger up the side the of the arm Cosima had draped across her shoulder. “Por quoi?”
“Well,” she stated with affected confidence, “it might add to my sex appeal; I mean, no one likes a goody two shoes.” Cosima pulled the sheet up over their hips to keep the chill of the summer breeze at bay.
“True.” Delphine agreed, judiciously. She kissed Cosima’s hairline and relaxed. “Though I am not sure anyone would accuse you of that.”
“But then again…” Cosima said coyly, running her fingers over Delphine’s collarbone and down the center of her chest, “I already have the corruption of a classy society lady on my conscience; what’s one more mark against me?” She moved her hand, covering the swelling flesh of Delphine’s left breast and squeezed.
Mmmmm. Delphine moaned and lifted her torso to mirror the pressure of Cosima’s touch. Cosima rolled her tightening nipple between her thumb and forefinger. The sensation pulled Delphine deeper into her passion; she reached up and stilled Cosima’s hand. “What do you want to do?” she asked, quite seriously.
“I want to make love to you.” Cosima answered soberly, and moved to kiss her again, but Delphine turned her head into the pillow. Cosima balked at the avoidance. “Are you ok?” she asked, trying to move her own gaze into Delphine’s eye line.
“I meant what do you want to do at the trial?” she barely managed to look Cosima in the eye as she asked and then turned her head away again, ashamed already for having asked.
“Delphine.” Cosima used the gentle pressure of her fingers to turn Delphine’s eyes toward her. “Hey, I don’t have any interest in stopping you from doing exactly what you want to do.”
“I know,” Delphine said, “but I also know you don’t want to say goodbye.” She held Cosima’s gaze, reaching a finger up to touch her lips, “I don’t either.”
“No, I don’t.” Cosima agreed, “but I do know the only power I am interested in using to keep you is right here,” she ran her fingertips down Delphine’s neck across her ribs and down to her hips. “And here.” She captured Delphine’s mouth with her own a kissed her deeply. “And here.” She pressed her lips over the spot where Delphine’s heart beat wildly in her chest. “This, whatever is between us, is the most powerful thing I have ever felt and no judge, decree, or distance can make it more or less than exactly what it is. I love you Delphine, and that’s the only real power I’ll ever have, and I won’t ever use it to try to hurt you or control you.”
Delphine half smiling, half crying reached up and pulled Cosima’s mouth to hers. “Then use it, chèrie,” She slid their mouths together and pulled Cosima’s kiss as deeply into her as she could. “to remind me of all the reasons I should stay. Make love to me, Cosima.” She grabbed Cosima’s hand and moved it down between her legs, which she parted to reveal the magnitude of her arousal.
“Dear god. Delphine,” Cosima’s fingers were enveloped in warm liquid heat. She touched slowly at first, stroking her fingers up and down the length of Delphine’s sex, before allowing them to tease the edges of her entrance. She pressed gently, then slipped her fingers just inside, feeling the swollen, open flesh. She let her tongue echo the pattern against Delphine’s mouth.
Intent on savoring the gift of her lover’s desire, she closed her eyes and let herself feel the ache gathering in her own body, the swelling and the wetness inspired by Delphine’s, whose hips began to rock in time with the rhythm of Cosima’s fingers and mouth, each movement beckoning Cosima’s touch to become firmer and deeper. She wrapped one arm tight around Cosima’s shoulders, then let her other hand descend to the warm round flesh of her ass, urging her lover’s hips to mirror the movement of her own. “More.” She insisted; Cosima obliged.
“Cosima.” She whispered breathlessly through their kisses, as their bodies rolled against one another. “Yes, Cosima.” As she opened herself further, allowing her body to take whatever Cosima wanted to give her. “Yes.” She felt herself fuller than she ever had been and strained still for more, practically shouting this time as she called, “Cosima!” Undone by the insatiability of the woman beneath her, Cosima pushed herself up onto one arm, reluctantly breaking their kiss. She pressed a thigh against the back of her hand. She had filled Delphine with her fingers and now used her thumb to continue to draw pleasure from the swollen bud of flesh at the apex of her sex. She stared into Delphine’s face; her eyes were closed in exquisite agony. She bit her bottom lip and pressed her head back into the pillow with each roll of her hips. Cosima lowered her torso to whisper into her ear.
“My God, Delphine, you are so beautiful. So so beautiful.” She continued to move inside and against her until Delphine’s breaths became moans and her words a string of emphatic affirmations. She felt Delphine’s body open wider and then begin to constrict, to press down and in against her hand. She moved as nimbly as she could despite the change, desperate not to lose the tempo of Delphine’s body and leave her frustrated. She curled her fingers and pressed with her thumb.
“Oiu. Cosima, yes! Mon Dieu… Tu es ma femme. Je t’adore… ma femme, ma femme. Oiu, oiu oiu.” Her body went rigid as her climax broke. The pulsing of Delphine’s orgasm, caused her own core to wind itself tight as a clock spring, each contraction edging Cosima closer to her own ending.
“Delphine, my god, yes. Yes. Yes.” By the time Delphine’s pleasure subsided Cosima was a pool of her own want, but she felt no drive to seek release; she simply let her arousal be, enjoying the very real pleasure of honest love making, something she was acutely aware that she might never have experienced had it not been for the remarkable woman beside her. When she withdrew herself from Delphine’s sated body, the blonde laughed at her own exhaustion and spent passion. She turned over and curled herself into Cosima, kissing the woman where ever her lips landed: arms, chest, shoulder, neck. She tucked herself into Cosima’s warmth and purred.
“My God, what did you to me?” she kissed Cosima’s chest again and then sighed.
“I assume that isn’t a literal question.” Cosima mused, wrapping Delphine in her arms.
“Non.” Delphine affirmed, “unless you particularly want to share.” Cosima laughed out loud.
“No,” she pulled the blankets up over them. “I’m not sure I did anything anyway, except follow directions.”
“Oh no, you did.” Delphine complimented her. “trust me; you did.”
“Well, I’m glad to know you weren’t faking it!” Cosima grinned at her own cheekiness, and paid for it with a rather firm pinch to her backside. “Hey!” she shouted, “What was that for?”
“Because you deserved it!” Delphine shot back.
“Boy, a great orgasm doesn’t buy what is used to; I’ll tell you that.” Cosima wrapped her arms tighter around Delphine and kissed the top of her head. “I was expecting to get away with a few good jokes before you got offended.”
“Oh. I’m not offended at all.” Delphine replied all deference and nonchalance.
Hello all. So it feels like it’s been forever and it kind of has been. Sorry about that. Enjoy the fluff… or whatever this is…
“This should fit.” Cosima offered Delphine a small stack of clothes. “I usually have to roll the jeans up so… some of us weren’t graced with such an awesome growth spurt.” It was a little bit of a sore spot for her. She’d stopped growing and so had Sarah. Unfortunately for them, they were now about the same height as their mother. “Some of us are doomed to live the life of garden gnomes.”
“I think your height is perfect.” Delphine took the clothes, the chill from her still wet clothes finally having gotten to her.
“Perfect for being the shortest person in class.”
Delphine shook her head, stepping a little closer. “Non. Perfect for this.” Leaning forward, she pressed a gentle kiss to soft lips, nearly laughing as she pulled away and Cosima chased the kiss for the briefest of moments. “See. Perfect.”
Cosima groaned. “You are a cruel person.” She took a deep breath and released a miserable sigh. “Did you… ” She pursed her lips as her eyes dropped to Delphine’s cast. “Did you need help?” She realized how that could have sounded and quickly added, “because of your arm? I’m not sure…”
A smirk worked it’s way across Delphine’s face that was part hormones, part adolescent nonchalance. “You know if you wanted to undress me…”
“No!…” Cosima quickly responded. “I mean… yes… but no… shit!”
Delphine couldn’t help but laugh. “Well if you’re not going to help, turn around.” She placed the small stack on the bed, not waiting for Cosima to comply before stripping off her damp shirt. As her sleeve snagged on her cast, she couldn’t help but wince at the pain, a sign that her high from earlier was wearing off.
Cosima froze, her eyes doubling in size behind her glasses as she was torn between blatant staring and knowing she shouldn’t.
There was a nagging voice telling Delphine this was wrong, but at the moment she couldn’t really remember why or even care. It was something in the back of her mind, something saying no, but it was overruled by the rapid beating of her own heart and the memory of soft lips.
Maybe she was focusing too much on it. It was perfectly normal, wasn’t it? She changed in the locker room in front of others all the time, but she felt a slight flush come over her as she saw the look in Cosima’s eyes. Then again, Cosima wasn’t like the others. “See something you like?”
Cosima inattentive turned bright red. “No!…Yes! Fuck!” She sounded like a broken record as she quickly spun around, head in her hands. “I swear I’m really not trying to be like a perverted spaz.”
Delphine chuckled, slipping the black shirt over her head. “As you say, Hakuna Matata.” It took a little more work to shuck off the damp jeans. She was glad Cosima wasn’t watching her because she was sure she’d had far more graceful days, nearly falling over was well worth the effort as Cosima’s jeans were soft and she was thankful for the blissful warmth they provided. They were indeed the perfect length for her but she found herself to have one small problem. “Ok… so I need your help.” She finally admitted having weighed all the options and finding only one.
Turning around, the flush in her cheeks had lessened slightly and Cosima grinned at the sight of the blonde in her tshirt and jeans. “I live to serve.”
Delphine sighed softly. “One button I can handle with a little work, but 4… we’re going to be here all night.”
“What do you…” Cosima’s words trailed off as the blonde rose her casted arm, an expression on her face indicating Cosima should have known this. “Oh… shit.” scratching her head, she pursed her lips, turning to her drawers. “Well…I can probably find… err…”
“You can probably come over here and help me button them.” Delphine quickly spoke up, that option apparently not even occurring to the brunette.
“Me?” Cosima pointed at herself. “You want me to…” Her eyes dropped to where the t-shirt was blocking the unbuttoned fly. “No… I can't…” just the thought of her hands being that close to… Yes she wasn’t technically a virgin but Delphine was… well… Delphine, and someone didn’t just stick their hand down the front of the jeans worn by the most popular girl in school.
“You are making this really weird, Cosima.” Delphine shook her head. Reaching out, she grabbed her by the front of her shirt, pulling her forward. “You’re just buttoning a few buttons… but… If you want, I can go ask Sarah… I mean, she is kinda cute…” She joked.
Cosima’s eyes narrowed behind her glasses. “That is way harsh, Captain.” She protested as her hands settled on the blonde’s hips. “Ok, so…” She tried not to think about the slight chill to Delphine’s skin or the way her knuckles brushed against damp cotton panties. “Can I ask you a question?” She needed to get her mind off of what she was doing.
Delphine had closed her eyes, attempting to keep her breathing even as she felt the warmth of Cosima’s fingers. “What?”
Fastening the first button which took the most care considering how close her hand was to… Cosima shook her head. “You don’t have like… some weird twins sex fantasy do you?”
Her eyes shooting open, Delphine found the brunette grinning at her. “What?” Her voice came out in an incredulous huff.
“Like…” Cosima fastened the next button. “I’m not into the whole… incest thing.” Getting the next button done, she smirked. “I mean… I like my sister and all, but the only womb I ever want to have shared with her is our mother’s.”
Delphine grimaced. “No… God no.” Shaking her head, she looked down as Cosima finished the last button. “It was just a joke, Cosima.” She felt the soft stroke of the brunette’s thumb against her stomach and she rose an eyebrow. “I have no interest in Sarah.” She whispered as she covered the brunette’s hand with her own. “Thank you for your help.”
Cosima swallowed. “It was… so my pleasure.”
It took everything in Delphine to take a step back, swallowing audibly as she fought with the surge of need and desire she felt.
Cosima wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or thankful as she took a deep breath. “Ok so… you have a test tomorrow right?”
Delphine nodded. Studying was safer, she thought as she tried to push aside the heat of Cosima’s touch that had somehow burnt its way into her memory.
With a nod and taking a seat on the floor, they took the safer path of studying. An hour went by easily, Cosima helping her through some of roadblocks while doing her own homework. That was… until Delphine felt eyes glued to her, the brunette obviously having lost interest in her own studies.
“Stop.”
Cosima smirked as she returned her eyes to the textbook, trying to focus on her homework.
Delphine scribbled down a few numbers before she felt a gaze glued to her again. Looking up, dark hazel eyes averted quickly back to the math book. They had put some space between themselves after earlier, but she wasn’t getting anywhere with her own homework any more than she knew the brunette was. “Cosima…”
“I’m sorry!” Cosima closed her book in frustration. “I can’t help it… You’re just…” Her words trailed off.
“I’m just… what?” Delphine noticed the look in Cosima’s eyes, even as they were averted. The brunette wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions.
“Beautiful.”
Delphine felt her heart skip a beat. Since they started dating, Paul had always referred to her as hot, something she detested more than words. He never called her beautiful. She didn’t think the word even was a part of his vocabulary. “Cosima,” Delphine closed her books, pushing them aside, “come here.”
Cosima wasted no time in pushing aside her own books and scrambling closer until she was inches from the blonde.
Reaching out to cup Cosima’s cheek, Delphine smiled, pulling her forward for a kiss. She could feel the revenance in the tender response, something so delicate that she felt her heart swelling. Breaking off the kiss, she traced the brunette’s lips with her thumb, watching as they spread into a smile. “You are the most beautiful creature on this planet.” She whispered, surprising herself with her own candor. The soft blush that colored cosima’s cheeks only added to her beauty.
She thought back on her dream, remembering the dark dreads and the devious expression as knowing hands had easily claimed her, but that was just one possible future when she wasn't… she didn’t even know anymore how many years were between them. She should have been worried about that, worried that maybe her memories were slipping away just a little faster than she wanted, but it was difficult to find a reason to care with Cosima’s presence so close.
“What are you thinking about?”
Delphine smiled. “You.”
“You know…” Cosima inched even closer, straddling her thighs and bumping the tip of her nose against Delphine’s, chuckling softly. “For someone who wanted to put some space between us not that long ago…”
“Shut up.” Delphine laughed as she pushed the brunette back just slightly. As if second-guessing that, she tangled her hand in her shirt and pulled her forward for a more solid kiss.
She’d started this friendship with a simple plan, to save Cosima. So why did it feel like she was saving herself instead?
“Hey!” Sarah called down the basement stairs. “Delphine’s dad is here!”
Delphine cursed as she began to jam her books into her bag, biting her bottom lip as Cosima watched her. “Stop.” She laughed as she grabbed the sweet body spray from her bag and spritzed it lightly to rid herself of the smell of pot. The rain hadn’t let up at all and she had begrudgingly called her parents for a ride home.
“I don’t think I can stop.” Cosima grinned as she stood up, stretching out her back. As an arm wrapped around her waist, she sunk into the embrace. “Mmmm. You smell like apples
… Fake apples.”
“Yeah well you smell like marijuana.” Delphine pressed a quick kiss to Cosima’s lips.
“It’s all part of my charm.” Cosima looked down as Delphine’s hand slid into her own, their fingers intertwining as she was pulled towards the stairs. It was such a simple thing, but it made her swallow audibly. It had barely been a week. How had things changed so quickly?
Still behind the safety of the closed front door, Delphine pulled her forward for one last kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah.” Cosima nodded, watching Delphine open the door and slip out it. Blinking against the bright headlights reflecting off the downpour, Cosima exhaled slowly and clicked the lock shut, her hand pressed against the now-closed door. Her mind ran a thousand miles an hour, a never ending stream of consciousness reviewing the last few hours.
Breathing in deeply, a toothy grin spread across her face. She remembered reading once, that sense of smell was strongly tied to memory, more so than all the other senses and as she inhaled once more, she was overwhelmed by the scent of rain and apples.
“Hey… Lesbo.”
Cosima turned back towards her sister who was coming down the stairs. “That’s totally not PC, you know?” She rebuked, heading into the kitchen to root around the fridge.
“What’s with blondie always being here?” Sarah leaned against the breakfast bar, fingers restlessly fiddling with leather cuffs fastened around her wrists, speckled with silver spikes.
Popping open a bottle of Sunny D, Cosima shrugged, gulping down the sweet, citrus drink. “Just lucky, I guess.” She offered half to her twin, wiping her mouth with the back of her free hand as the bottle was accepted. “What’s with the sudden interest?”
Sarah tossed the bottle in the trash after quickly drinking the rest, offering her sister a shrug. “Just askin.” She followed as Cosima headed down to her basement room, taking a seat on the last step as her sister began cleaning. Or rather, watching as Cosima kicked a wet towel to the corner that held a small pile of dirty clothes. “I mean… wasn’t she dating Paul just like a week ago and now she’s in your room making out with you?” Sarah tilted her head to the side. “I mean… thanks to my genes, you’re a pretty good looker, but…. he’s Paul…”
Cosima laughed as she pulled her colorful dreads up into a bun, remembering Delphine’s remark about Sarah being cute. “One would say thanks to my genes… but things change. He’s not really that awesome of a dude… just cause you gave him a hand job two years ago…”
“Hey! Shut up!” Sarah snorted in indignation. “He’s captain of the football team, Cos. He doesn’t have to be a good guy. He’s got popularity.”
“Yeah well… popularity can’t make up for the level of scum…” She wasn’t going to mention what happened under the bleachers, she’d promised Delphine she wouldn’t tell anyone. “Sometimes you stop and think and realize people aren’t who they pretend to be.” Picking up the towel that Delphine had been using, Cosima paused, reaching down to pick up a notebook. Opening the cover, she noticed Delphine’s familiar script, small phrases of poetry scribbled neatly across the page. She couldn’t help but smile at the silly words, wondering when the blonde had written it.
“What’s that?”
“Delphine forgot her notebook.” Flipping through the pages, Cosima realized some of the poems were about Paul and she grimaced. She was about to close the book when she got to a few blank pages, but as she flipped one more page, she got to a more frantic script. It looked like Delphine’s but it was rushed, unlike the care that was taken with the pages before. She could make out the messy words, but fragments of sentences and ideas painted only part of a picture. Maybe they were wishes for the future? A future with Paul? A dream? A short story? She couldn’t understand what the purpose was of the little snippets, but her eyes fell on one sentence.
Two words stood out, repeated several times on the pages between weird descriptions of situations Delphine described as if they had happened. Two words that sent a cold shiver through her, settling in her gut and manifesting as an overpowering queasiness.
