Mar 26, 2017
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It hurts seeing you exceeding every expectation day after day. You’re just great and passionate about what you are doing but your success hurts me. I’m happy for you, i really truly am. I always knew how good you were and how much you’d deserve this. But I can feel those little stabs in my heart every time I see a picture you took and how many people think you’re talented which you indeed are. You deserve it. You worked so hard for it. And I’m sorry I’ve never been as supportive as you would have deserved it. Keep on going - you’re amazing!
I am so incredibly scared to fall in love. The last two weeks were not easy and I did have some time to think. I’m distancing myself from what we had before he left. I mean, it really has been amazing and it has been a great time. We went from strangers to lovers quite fast, but also took our time to take each of the steps we had to take to get there. Now I am laying here thinking about our future and it scares me. What if school gets in the way. What if my hobby gets in the way. What if life gets in the way. I have always ended things when I thought they weren’t right for me anymore. What if I have been wrong all this time. What if things will always be right and I just have to work on it so I can see that they have always been the way I wanted them. What if I might hurt him. What if I back out, take back things I have said and disappoint him. What if he will love me in the good and even in the worst moments and I won’t. What if I only think I understand the concept of unconditional love and a relationship that lasts forever. What if I’m too young to understand. What if I’m not ready yet. What if we would get married right away, would all those doubts disappear?
Sometimes you just meet a person that is perfect for you even though you would have never expected it. You feel comfortable around that person and don't want to miss a second without him or her. You simply start to smile for no reason at any given time. Everything seems to fall into place.
You shouldn't keep me up all night.
Wie geht es dir? Alles in Ordnung? Wie war dein Tag?
Mir geht’s richtig gut :) Mein Tag war auch ziemlich toll. Es war der letzte Schultag von all meinen Freunden und ich werde die so vermissen, aber jetzt bin ich die älteste an der Schule und das ist auch cool :D Außerdem hatte ich zwei meiner Lieblingsfächer und Lieblingslehrer und hab 14 und 15 Punkte bekommen. Läuft also sehr gut :)
I'm going to tell you how much I miss you until my heart runs dry because there will be a time when I won't be able to tell you anymore.