Having chronic fatigue, executive dysfunction AND contamination ocd is like. The worst.
Something is contaminated
I have to deepclean it to stop the contamination
Its so much work to do so I freeze up with the executive dysfunction
Thing is still contaminated and thing still needs to be cleaned
If I force myself to do all the work right now I'll end up in pain and/or in bed for an unreasonable amount of time which means I won't be able to do other things as intended
Now my schedule/plan will be thrown off and I'm in executive paralysis again
But the thing is still contaminated and I can't fix it because I'm paralyzed. So now I feel like I'm going to throw up
If I throw up I'll be overly fatigued again and won't be able to function on a normal level let alone so the deepclean that needs to be done
So I'm in a rabid cycle of panic, executive paralysis, more panic, then extreme exhaustion and pain once I get out of the paralysis...
AND IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT
