odaa drabble dump:
oh look, a taglist: @extraisthmus you asked to be tagged in everything so here you go enjoy whatever the heckaroo this is sorry not sorry
Prompt: “How are you dealing with this?”
“Very Poorly.”
Kira made no attempt to hide her smirk. “That’s obvious. Have you tried using the plunger?”
“Yes, I tried using the fucking plunger what do you think I’ve been doing this entire time.”
“So. Tell me. How did you end up in this situation?”
The ‘situation’ Kira was referring to was Sadja hunched over a toilet gripping onto a plunger for dear life.
Sadja tugged on the plunger. “I…” she avoided eye contact and muttered the rest of the sentence.
Kira leaned against the doorframe. “Hm? Sorry, I missed that last part. Can you repeat that, please?”
Sadja blushed. “There was no more toilet paper on the roll, so I used...iusedpapertowels.
“Sorry. One more time, please. And don’t forget to enunciate.”
“Oh, give me a break.” She gave a firm tug on the plunger. “I used paper towels, ok? I flushed paper towels down the toilet, and now it’s clogged, and for some fucking reason, the plunger is now stuck inside this goddamned toilet.” She was in the air now, flapping her wings furiously as she yanked at the stubborn thing. Finally, something gave way, and the demon was sent flying backward. Instantly, she sprang back up and held the plunger over her head triumphantly. “Yes! Finally! I got it out! I got it—” She lowered her hand only to see that the stick had been wrenched free, and the rubber part was still firmly stuck in the bowl. “Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me.”
Kira made no attempt to conceal her laughter now. “Oh, this is too good. So. Sadja Innocentes puns when upset. Good to note.”
Sadja threw the stick across the room. “I did not—!” She paused. “For fuck’s sake, I did.”
“Wow. This is a really shitty situation, huh?”
“Shut up.”
“I bet you feel really crappy, don’t you?”
“Piss off.”
“Oh, she makes another one!”
“Has anyone told you that you’re an asshole?”
Kira only cackled in response.
“So, are you gonna help me, or are you just gonna stand there and laugh?”
Kira pushed herself from the doorframe. “Alright, alright. I’ll help you. But can I ask you a question first?”
“Fine.”
“Why didn’t you just ask me to bring you a new roll? Or make a new one yourself? Better yet, why didn’t you use your powers to unclog the toilet?”
Sadja took one look at Kira’s shit-eating grin before pointing to the door.
“Get out.”
~~~~~~~~~
lmao is this absolute shit? yes. is it because it’s 1am and i just wanted an excuse to write toilet jokes? partly. will i regret writing this when im not sleep deprived or sick? honey i already do.