do you think Peanut likes Johnny? As in like-likes
oh boy. oooooh boy.
this is a charged question, man. buckle up.
if i wanted to give you an easy and quick answer, it would be that yes, he does.
though it's way more complicated than that.
the problem is that peanut is incredibly dependent on johnny. and not just in terms of "i'll do what he says because i'm his second in command". as in, my role is to live and breathe fro him. i tend to rant a lot abt him, so i will probably put together some stuff ive already mentioned in the past lmao, but, for example, in his audio files, peanut mentions johnny around thirty times. thirty. that means an average of once every thirty seconds. almost four times as much as gord mentions derby (and, aside from peanut, he is the one with the most instances of mentioning their leader among all the characters).
he craves johnny's attentions like a starved dog; he'll call his name when he scores at dodgeball or he'll cry for help to him when he's being bullied/hit. he feels like he owes him, not only for something but on an existential level, almost- let me help you like johnny helped me.
however, he's also profoundly envious of him. i can think of two instances where he dreams about having lola's attention, and i believe this has less to do with lola (since there are also other voice lines where he expresses his perplexities about her) and more with johnny, with being johnny. johnny, who, to him, is this god, this perfect being that he can only aspire to be. and admittedly it's been a while since i went through the entire of his audio files but there might be something more along these lines.
(if i wanted to get super audacious, i would say he's almost some fatherly figure- to fulfill my life, i have to replace you and become like you in the measure that i love you. but that would bring us into some pseudo-freudian territory that i don't think a lot of people would be comfortable about, lmao. tho also there was that one art by @fermocent that i love a lot that encapsulates this a lot in terms also of parallels with tad that i love truly deeply)
so, the point is: he likes him, but i wouldn't say at all that it's your cute teenage sweetheart crush. it's a twisted attraction with a good dose of self-loathing, crippling sense of inadequacy and blind worship. (if anyone's interested, my longfic revolves entirely around this concept and peanut's feelings towards johnny teehee)
soo hi everyone!! i'm back on my bully essay/meta/something writing!! sort of. i did this.
anyways anyone who's been on this page for some time know how from time to time i have insistently mentioned the parallels between lola and peanut, right?
welp! that was a joke but the time has finally come!! a super-pretentious essay just for the fun of it!! (and also bc i haven't been writing actually argumentative texts in like months perhaps a year, so. yikes, i really need to practice again)
word count: 2.2k WOAH. IM SORRY
i, in my corner, with my monstrous needs.
— susan sontag, as consciousness is harnessed to flesh
take this quote both as a title and an anticipation of what is to come. the essay will be distributed analyzing first the dependence of each of them on johnny, to then draw comparisons. i'll make sure to steer as away from headcanons as possible, sticking closely to the source text. obviously, some things' interpretation might be ambiguous, but, you know. your usual occupation hazard.
also, a disclaimer before we start: while they are psychologically complex and there is always a mimetic intention in developing them, these are fictional characters, and, as such, their primary function is to be vessels for different themes, questions and so forth. therefore, i will prioritize meaning and themes over moral implications and similar elements.
i. peanut
for how much i can adore talking about him, the way peanut depends on johnny is very much on the nose; worn on his sleeve, even. in 11:11 minutes of voice lines, he mentions johnny 30 times.
many interpret this as the caricature of a boy crush, but i have reasons to believe it is much less cute than that.
the problem is that, really, more than trying to identify specific situations... peanut seems to rely on johnny for a significant part of what he does. when he does good at dodgeball:
Look at me, Johnny, look at me!
almost like a child calling for his parent's attention to be praised. he calls johnny's name when he's going through hardships, when he's scared or when he's sad.
more than someone he just loves, johnny is a point of reference. whenever there's something going on, whenever he does or has to do something, his first thought goes to johnny; vice versa, what johnny asks of him is his priority.
I gotta tell Johnny!
No time. I gotta see Johnny now.
Gotta help Johnny.
What can I do next to please Johnny? I mean Lola! I mean…
(this also goes in a "negative" direction, envy being the other side of the medal to adoration. especially because, in some way, this reliance on johnny might be felt by him as emasculating, and, being johnny his model of masculinity, adding it to the napoleon complex thing, it's not hard to guess why it can be so unpleasant. we can see this manifest through some of the things he expresses in regards to lola- not as much an interest he has towards her, but the interest he wishes to have from her- which are a bit more different than it might seem at a first glance. but this is a mouseketool we'll need later. still:
Last time I saw her, Lola made eyes at me, not Johnny!
do we really need this part? heh. i'm not sure, but it's always good to point out)
(also, just because, for the purpose of this analysis, it might be useful to specify: while these sentiments are very much implied in peanut's canon quotes, we have no evidence in canon in what measure they are reciprocated by johnny. the fandom has universally agreed that johnny also views peanut as his Best Friend In The World; while in some measure, they must be at least a bit close, i think it is even safe to say, given the caricaturist nature of bully's characterizations, that johnny holds peanut in less consideration that peanut deludes himself into believing. quoting another post of mine, the kids who show some level of obsession towards their leader mention him on average ten or less times (gord mentions derby eight times, parker six times, kirby mentions ted five times). the leaders don't usually make names at all, that much is true; however, peanut mentions johnny 30 times, and, even in front of this proportion, johnny mentions peanut 0 times. just to make that clear)
overall, what undeniably shines through his voice lines is a feeling of general inadequacy, whether about his height, or his strength in front of a bigger adversary. the audios in which he tries to show off range from being disingenuous, to straight up improbable.
crossing what we have until now said, it is not hard to come to the conclusion that he really tries to make up, to fill this empty feeling of inadequacy by taking pride in his role as johnny's second in command.
while i am a big fan of bully's characteristic of having left much content out of the main game, leaving the gamers to dig it up for themselves, i do believe that scrapping some of the stuff that was prepared for peanut is a loss. we have a number of voice lines coming from chapter 3, in which it was heavily implied how important peanut's role as johnny's right hand man was.
for example, much like... all other seconds in command, really, he was to be followed and then fought in the rumble, before you could get to johnny, with the specific duty to cover his back. even his very first scene, the opening cutscene of chapter 3, i believe, is not to be underestimated. most of the other people, as far as i recall, call you when they need it in person; johnny, however, sends peanut. making him, de facto, an extension of himself, almost.
again, you choose the motivation. what is important, from a narrative point of view, is that peanut clings to johnny through these acts of service, almost making it the foundation of his personhood.
basically, he makes it so that, if he can't be of help to johnny, his whole self is fundamentally annihilated, giving himself completely to johnny.
ii. lola
with lola, reading between the lines gets a bit more difficult; first of all, because lola is much less transparent than peanut, her insincerity being a supporting beam of the whole chapter 3. secondly, whether she was done dirty by the creators or not, it is undoubted that being the perspective that of a teenage boy (namely, jimmy, but we certainly, as viewers, are brought to sympathize more with johnny than with lola) with all the prejudices it can bring with itself.
however, it doesn't mean that there isn't anything to work with- quite the contrary, actually. the issue with lola is that there is a certain amount of layers to get through before gaining a satisfying perception of her as a character. still, we're here to try our best, aren't we!
even behind the muddiness of her intentions and the manipulation she shows herself a master at, it is clear from the second we first meet her that what she does is in function of johnny.
to get through this mess with order, we'll start from an easy, measurable numeric information: lola mentions johnny in her audio files 19 times. which, we're assessed, IS a considerable amount.
we have extensively talked about the way her cheating patterns are a strategy not to succumb to the passive role of the girl in the heteronormative, patriarchal prototypical couple (there's a post here breaking down a lot of this stuff, if any of you is interested!!), so, instead of this, i want to focus on what lies beneath that behavior.
ultimately, the whole point is that lola expects and wants johnny to fight for her. whether is it because she feels taken for granted, or just because he can't perceive it if not through grandiose gestures like the rumble- your interpretation will work; she wants to see johnny fighting nail and teeth not to lose her, she wants him to show her that he wants her.
she's all about that attention, and she knows exactly what and how to do to get it. and i think this is especially clear when you compare the moments in which she knows there's no advantage she could go for; when she has understood that jimmy won't fall for her manipulation, when algie and chad leave her unsatisfied, when norton openly accuses her and antagonizes her - she loses her temper, lets go of that sweetened and/or flirtatious voice tone, abandons that specific kind of gesturing. she doesn't care anymore about obtaining something. she was actually angry, and she was actually upset that johnny had disappeared.
in some of her audios, she references johnny with some amount of fondness, as well:
Johnny and I were on the best date ever.
(there is also a voice line in which she says "He told me he likes me because of my personality. Isn't that sweet?"; due to it being a general chatter and not exclusive to one chapter, i assume it is relatively safe to assume she is quoting johnny. however, as i said at the beginning, we're trying to stay as close to canon material as possible, so, do your thing- and i'm open to arguments!!)
a considerable amount of audio files, however (which will lead us to our final point) is about her... calling for help for johnny, or stating, confidently, that he will come save her, or avenge her later.
Someone get Johnny!
Johnny's gonna get you for this.
Johnny is gonna kill you!
but wait... i have some sense of déjà vu...
You're gonna be sorry when Johnny finds out!
iii. two faces of the same medal
if i had to pick an effective image for a metaphor, i'd say that the thing about lola and peanut is that they are both dogs looking for someone to take their leash; we’re talking here about an exclusive relationship with someone they can rely totally on, someone we’ll call the Other (with a capital o, distinguished from just other. yes it is unnecessarily complicated i’m sorry).
for what my professor would call accidents of history, it happened that both of them found that Other in johnny.
each of them attempts at creating an exclusive relationship with the Other, one foolproof and fundamentally… perfect. perfect in the way that everything works like oiled gears, in the way that every next move is predictable, in the way that any accident will not break the created equilibrium. (even if, in the general sense of the term, lola and johnny's relationship is everything but perfect, it is in the connotation that we have established here. lola is aware that, no matter what she does, johnny will come back around. hell, the very thing that she does is aimed at keeping that balance; specifically, keeping him a bit on the edge, pushing him into a corner where he has to actively make an effort to keep her close.)
they both hide something they are ashamed of, regulating not only their actions and reactions but their very way of existing in the world, in order to keep that gear working, in order to remain in johnny's hand. lola hides that craving for a genuine and stable affection, dissimulating it with the cheating and the fatuous physical demonstrations of closeness; peanut hides his sense of inadequacy and complex of inferiority, by being the tough and reliable second in command.
basically, what they mean to achieve is a sense of security, the safety of not really being the one to lead but, at the same time, finding a purpose, other than a shield from the outside world that they are not willing to concede themselves to. like a... symbiotic relationship?? i was going to say parasitic, but, yknow. the Other does get some advantages, which are, respectively, peanut's acts of service and lola's capacity to boost johnny's pride.
now, of course, johnny is not aware of either of their play. which makes it even better, since, as we already said, both of their approach to the relationship needs some degree of insincerity.
like, i don't deny that johnny might be a good friend, or a loyal one. but he is an oblivious, prideful fuck who can't see past his own nose; he's got a tendency to make it all about himself - which of course goes perfectly with what we said about both peanut and lola making the Other their center, taking up, in a certain way, a passive role in the relationship.
this way, both of them aim at creating with johnny a relationship that is, in a way, codependant and conditional, in which the do ut des (their respective "service" ↔ johnny's guarantee of stability) creates the foundation of the very relationship.
this, of course, brings up the problem of exclusivity; on which, however, i prefer not to delve into too much, as this would bring us to the topic of their antagonism which... isn't really what i wanted to go for, at least not here. (it would risk bringing us a bit too close to my subjective interpretation and too far away from the canon, which i PROMISED i wouldn't do. however, someday i might elaborate on that??? idk , please do lmk if someone's interested around here)
i will, however, show you a diagram (it looks like a triangle- i guess it is, but it is VERY important that it is a pyramid, with a top and a larger foundation) and a quote, to wrap this up bc i think it is already WAY too long and ramble-y lmao. let me know what you think anyway, my ask box is always open <3
it almost feels like a joke to play out a part
when you are not the starring role in someone else's heart
you know i'd rather walk alone (i'd rather walk alone)
than play a supporting role
if i can't get the starring role
-- starring role, marina and the diamonds
Curious if you think Johnny, peanut, and Lola have/had siblings or if they're just only children. Personally I always hc johnny and lola as only children but felt that peanut had a younger sister who passed away.
why hi anon!!! this such an interesting question, thank you!!
i remember reading that hc, yep!!
i hc all the three of them, however, to be only children (i think they're the only greasers that i do??). in fact, for all three of them, this fundamental isolation is their childhood is, in the way i read it, what shaped some of the way they socialize and influences a lot their interactions.
as for johnny, the thing is that his parents were both in the drug dealing circles of new coventry, hence why they were in prison for a while- his father was actually pretty important in the neighborhood, while his mom mostly helped and did other legal jobs (which is also why she got out earlier). and johnny learnt both how to be a man and how not to be a man from his father- he taught him strength and roughness and to never take a hit but punch harder. but he also taught that johnny didn't want to hit his woman, didn't want to leave the house for a smoke to cool his head when she was crying and threatening to hurt herself because of him, didn't want her to be his slave.
in this framework, i think that him having, say, a brother would sort of... scatter the relationship his father has with him, the attention and, almost, the pressure to be worthy of being treated as a peer. which is something i really like to read for johnny. and i also like the idea of him having had his mother as the only woman in his life, before lola. call him a mama's boy, but he learned to take care of his mother before he even questioned how to deal with an eventual girlfriend. so he has learned to take care of the people he has around himself, such as peanut, almost in a way that replaces a paternal figure as protector of the house. but also internalized some very specific notions about masculinity and virility that he totally projects onto the relationship with lola.
ultimately, i think, the whole point is that the way he lives the relationship with lola in particular is basically a result with having grown up with the only reference in his house of close human interaction as his parents, and having to sort of step up where they lacked in the sole spousal relationship.
with peanut, my hc is that his mom had him when she was very young, sixteen years old, and she was... basically on her own, really; the boy she had had him with had fled as soon as he had a chance, her dad was on the other side of the ocean and her mom was basically mia (i still have to figure out the logistics of this, since, when i first elaborated it, i forgot for a while that Laws Existed, LMAO, and i was already too far in the creating process to change that), so she had to raise him on her own. and peanut spent most of his childhood in his living room, waiting for his mom to come back home, watching the vhs she had rented for him and reading the motors magazines. it's there that he fell in love with greasers, crushing on marlon brando and james dean, the shiny motorcycles and the raw leather jackets.
he basically had to live with himself, you see. also bc his mom, so young and unprepared, was very overwhelmed most of the time, and- i did post a quick snippet of a scrapped chapter of my fic already, actually, so you can get a broad but more detailed idea of their relationship if you want!! either way, point is. larry had to learn to tend to himself at a very young age, dealing with the loneliness and his own sensitivity, running from eventual kids of the neighborhood, who liked to take advantage of him being much smaller than most of them, trying not to take up too much space and upset his mom.
so of course, when he met johnny, older, proud, powerful as a sun, promising to take care of him, it felt almost unreal, something he never thought he could have wished for nor something he thought he deserved. some kind of care and protection hed never learnt to receive, and that he hang onto for dear life because suddenly... he wasn't on his own anymore.
(sometimes parents are just Contextual Objects. other time they are fully fleshed ocs with a backstory and a whole personality. turns out despite everything immacolata romano is really my child and i am so so fond of her and id have soo much more to say abt her relationship w peanut. but i digress)
and lola- i'll admit, shes the one i bounced back and forth about the most, in trying to imagine her family's situation. (in fact, if you see any reference to her family in my older fics/post, no you dont) at some point i even considered the idea of her having a much older brother who would sort of fill in for some absent father figure, but then i scrapped it. i think that, in her case as well, having grown up alone with her parents' relationship as a reference makes potentially much more sense than any other possibility i considered.
lola has a quote, in which she says "i'm so old, my life is almost over!" when... she's just?? sixteen??? seventeen??? i think it's because, see, her parents got married and had her when they were young, maybe nineteen or twenty- yknow, as soon as it was legal for the both of them without too many loopholes. however, the relationship was very unbalanced and fundamentally deteriorated, perhaps not from the beginning but very soon. her father being dominant, violent, arrogant and such. and her mother has always been bitter, subdued but angry and resentful at her husband, at the golden expectations she had, at her womanhood and, of course, at her daughter. she's always seen her as living proof of her own wasted beauty and youth; but, especially as soon lola started growing up to the age at which girls start being looked at by the boys, which we unfortunately know how soon it is, saw in her what she felt she'd lost. so she'd often remind her how lola was the reason why she is now a ruin of a woman, why she went from a beautiful and promising girl to an old and unattractive hag.
again- her being the only child helps focus on her the kingpin of this dynamic, especially on her mother's part. so lola grew up knowing what can happen to women, what remains when the fairytales of the princess marrying the prince crumble with the remnants of childhood. she realized at eleven, twelve years old how men were starting to look at her in the street and she knew what the next step would have been. she was reminded every day of her life. so, when she walked into bullworth, into the relationship with johnny, all she knew is that she wouldn't have ended up like her mother. knew that she wouldn't have fallen in love, wouldn't be tricked by the sweet words and the dreamy gazes. and she knew that she had no weapons to defend herself but the very thing that could've otherwise been the death of her, that being the male attention. and finding a way to use johnny's attention specifically, with his blind devotion mixed to the obliviousness, to her own advantage... well, that's what her whole arc is about, isn't it.
as i write this, i'm starting to realize that her having, perhaps specifically a brother, might function as a tool to highlight the difference in treatment between her, a daughter, and an eventual son. however, i stand my case that i really like the idea of this whole dynamic of her parents and her mother in particular resting on her and her only, creating this sort of... tunnel vision in which her very isolation in front of her view create her idea of how the world works.
thank you so much for the question!! it was a lot of fun to answer + it helped me make some order among some concepts i had in my mind <33
this is from a deleted chapter of shttdd. i had to cut it for a number of reasons, but this scene was one of the first i pictured in my mind and it works perfectly with the idea i still have about the relationship between peanut and his mother.
so. here it is, a deleted and rough draft of an excerpt from the story as well as a headcanon. enjoy <3
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word count: 1.5k ca.
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He finds her sitting on the bench at the stop, a bit of the excitement already faded, if anything in the calm of the wait in the rigid December cold, as Larry sits next to her.
Ever since he was a child, he has barely ever set foot in a church, except maybe a few times that he had to fetch Johnny for some Greasers meeting, so he certainly is no reliable source. Still, when he looks at his mother like this, when she isn’t running from one place to the other, he can’t help but think she looks sort of like a Madonna — in the good Sunday dress her mother had left her, smile sweet but with some undefinable glint of sadness in the corner of her eye.
His knowledge of the story is vague, but he struggles to believe them, when he hears people claim Mary had happily and unconditionally accepted sacrificing her youth for a child, no matter how much good he would’ve done for the world or how much she would’ve been adored or even how much she would’ve loved the child. Larry is no Jesus, but he knows for sure that, despite treasuring him and loving him to death, his mom has never stopped grieving the teenage years she had to give up for a kid that only ever stopped her from flying away.
«The Espositos are so nice, inviting us all there.» When she speaks, her gaze is lost in the streets in front of her, and she might as well be talking more to herself than to her son. «It’s nice to stay over there, with people who care about you. It’s nice.»
There has always been something ironic about the way she loves and celebrates Christmas, especially since she’s never had a good relationship with a Father that has never cared about her and the only holy water in their house has only ever been the spit on good old Christian ladies condemning her to the stake. Everything she loves about the twenty-fifth of December, Larry has only guessed, is that, for a day, she can pretend not to be in charge, to have someone to rely on.
«Who else of your friends is there?»
She purposefully puts it casually, but the question stabs Larry’s heart sideways nonetheless. However, just like she did, he nonchalantly tries to list of all his Greaser friends that Hal might have invited for Christmas. «Well, usual, I guess. Lefty’s back in Rome for the week, Vance is with his sisters and his mom… most of them will stay at their own house I think. I’m not sure about the Pucinos, since Ricky’s dad just came back an’ all that. But I don’t think anyone else is coming. I wonder if Johnny and Lola will come, after all I think it’s jus’ the two of ‘em. I might go see them in the afternoon.»
At the last two names he finds himself biting the tip of his tongue, some bad feeling in his throat, the doubt that he wouldn’t have been able to avoid the topic if he said it nor if he didn’t.
True to his expectation, at the sole mention of Johnny’s name, his mom’s features harden, her eyes still into the distance; not even looking at him.
What a great way to start the day.
A huff escapes his mouth, but the knot in his trachea doesn’t go away with it. «Mom, I get that you don’t like him, you don’t gotta do this every single time.»
«It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s not personal!» She shakes her head energetically, as she always does, but Larry knows exactly where this is going anyway, and he’s awfully tired of this shitshow that opens its curtains any time he just happens to mention Johnny.
He rolls his eyes, sparks of irritation jumping in his chest, head falling in his hands as all the blood flowing to it makes it heavier and heavier. «I can’t believe we’re having this conversation at a fuckin’ bus stop.»
«I just,» Shrugging frantically, she keeps following her train of thoughts, deaf and blind to her son’s reaction, only her own heart beating in her head. «don’t think you should trust him as much as you do, y’know.»
His arms open, and he’s not looking at her either, too busy trying to hear his own voice over the roar in his ears. «He’s always taken care of me! Always!»
Her argument is always the same, repetitive, stubborn; he must have taken it from somewhere, after all. «For now! You can’t rely on that kind of guy!»
«“That kind of guy”.» Her and Johnny might have interacted two, three, four times at best, and certainly she’s never seen him rush at his side, or waiting for him to wake up in the infirmary, or introducing him to the higher ranking members of the clique, or pulling him away from bullies’ grip, or fighting back by back with him against older kids jumping them. She doesn’t know him, doesn’t know them, and, after leaving him wondering in his earliest childhood if she had ever wanted him around at all, she is definitely not in the position to judge whether Johnny actually cares about him or not. «What “kind of guy” would he be, huh?»
Still, she goes on, undeterred, if anything more determined to make her point come across. «He’ll just chase the first thing that excites him! He can only enjoy things as long as they’re good, but he’ll leave as soon as he doesn’t have fun anymore!»
This time, Larry snaps. «Oh, c’mon! Just ‘cause dad—»
Their eyes finally cross. Suddenly, they are but two sixteen years old staring at each other, both lost, confused, horridly lonely. He’s said the one word that he’s never supposed to voice, that is meant to stay stuck between the teeth she’s kept gritted since the day she found herself alone sixteen years ago. As soon as Larry has let it out, it has pierced into her gaze, breaking the glass of her eyes that she had tried to keep together with superhuman effort.
What an asshole that he is, isn’t he.
Taking back his words is impossible, now, or, at least, there’s nothing he can do to glue those pieces back together, fragile like crystal in his rough and indelicate hands. «Mom…»
«You know what? You’re right.» She turns her head away again; her voice is coarse, older than the thirty-two years old she’s supposed to be, as shaky as the little girl she never grew out of. «I can’t believe we’re having this conversation at a fuckin’ bus stop.»
Apologies are stuck up his throat, blocking his breath, but he knows better than to insist; for once, he should just be an adult and shut his mouth.
He just wishes this wasn’t such a minefield, one where they are only ever condemned to hurt each other.
When they get on the bus, it’s wordlessly, silence heavy on Larry’s stomach and his mom’s eyes passively laying on the window as the buildings slide behind it, gray snow that clashes with the colored lights, five broken for each one shining. She is often silent when something’s wrong; when he was younger, naive and unable to grasp why she should have been upset at him coming back home just a few minutes too late, he would stare at her from the couch, dread in his throat as her face wouldn’t soften for hours, waiting for her to give him a smile, to tell him that it was okay and she still loved him.
Growing older, though, he’s learned to be patient, to test the waters slowly and let her know that she’s safe peeking out of her own head. Lightly, making sure that his own uneasiness doesn’t leak through — she doesn’t need a child to comfort, right now. «Mom?»
Not an answer, a gesture, a gaze.
He takes a breath; just another try. «Mom, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up.»
Finally, she turns to him. At first, there’s still something cold, distant in time and space, like her soul is only now realizing what body she’s finding herself into, like she’s seeing him for the first time, at birth. However, it warms soon after, thin lips curling in a soft smile, that Holy Mary tender and bittersweet gaze, as she caresses his cheek. «It’s okay. I just wish you didn’t turn out so much like me.»
This is another thing that she tells him often; in all these years, though, Larry still hasn’t found quite the right explanation. All he can do is laying his head on her shoulder and let her stroke his hair, pretending for just a second that they can be just as happy together as any mother and son would be.
like really. norton is the kindest person you will ever meet
and he's pretty insecure about that. also because his father has spent a lifetime telling him to man up and just learn the way the world works
plus bullworth is well. the way it is. not easy for kind souls
so he toughened up on the surface but on the inside, the part that he lets his friends see, he's still got a golden heart like ponyboy's sunsets
speaking of which, the outsiders is the book he is the most fond of (it's also part of the reason he decided to become a greaser!!) but he loves to read in general!!
he has a little notebook where he keeps track of all the book he reads and the movies he watches; he also keeps track of how much he liked them, his main thoughts of them and so forth
he also writes poetry from time to time!!
also he's got very strong political opinions. his father expected him to become a cop when he grows up; now he's radically on the left and extremely critical of the legal system as a whole
he gives the best hugs!!!! he might not be the best at finding the words to comfort his friends, and not on the spot, but his hugs cure all illnesses
not as good as you would expect with children. turns out toddlers really aren't that keen on having discussions about media analysis
too cautious for his own life
also he's the one who makes sure no one of his reckless cliquemates accidentally finds a way to put themself in danger
he tries to keep a sort of low profile at home, but the walls of his dorm room are covered in posters and sketches he's tried to do himself
though he's very insecure about that too. but he's learning!!
he shares said room with peanut btw. they get along very very well because they both know they can be kind and gentle and vulnerable, because they know they will both be gentle. they're so soft i love them
he respects johnny as a leader, but he does think he's much too reckless and impulsive, often overlooking what would be best for the clique as a whole in favor of his wants
also he's got this reciprocal, deep distaste for lola, because they have deeply contrasting values and therefore attitudes so it's a mutual disapproval really
also he's the best at doing piercings
he got himself a navel piercing. his parents still don't know and they can't know
wears glasses when he reads and when he drives!! astigmatism + slight myopia but he doesn't need them all the time
speaking of driving- most greasers actually can drive a car and/or a motorcycle, but norton is one of the few who. actually has got a license
just to drive a car though. his mother always refused to let him drive a motorbike
but i think that what really gets me about bully is just how casually and painfully realistically queer it happens to be
like, bully isn't a queer game, at all. in fact, it was meant to be a rockstar, white cishet teenage boy game. ableism, misogyny and whatnot really aren't missing
many many characters have been raised in their life and shaped by the creators around the gender roles and stereotypes even, say with the jocks, and all the homophobia that comes with the all-male, tough masculine aspect and yet the physical closeness of football
but then you have all these characters who are all different shades and experiences of queerness. jimmy himself is the protagonist on whom the player can project their own way of living their own sentimental life but is mostly written as being openly and confidently bisexual, and kirby is into boys but buried so deep into the closet that even just being seen with trent is enough to make him run away, and justin adores the jocks so much and also admits thinking sometimes that he's not interested in girls and has a passion for greek sculpture, and cornelius defies all gender roles by identifying both on stage and in relationships with juliet and can also be seen by other students holding hands with boys, and troy tries so hard to force himself to stop thinking about guys and seems to have a crush on russell, and derby and bif are rumored and suggested to be together but anything that happens does away from strangers' eyes, and peanut has this attraction for both johnny and lola but they both are tied together and with him with so many layers of complicated dynamics that make the attraction confusing, and gord is graceful to the point of almost stereotypically effeminate and yet so natural and unapologetic about it, and juri says a lot that he's so sure about girls liking strong and muscular boys but also casually asks his interlocutor if they ever wondered what it would be like to be of the opposite sex, and (if he was included in the final game) bob is openly gay and mentions the casual homoeroticism of wrestling and sports, and trent is flirty and bisexual and an aspiring actor implied to be into musical, and these are just some of the canon things that come first to my mind
it's about the way being a queer teen in a homophobic society can be so confusing and lived in so many different ways and how being queer affects each and every person differently and how none of these characters are solely defined by their queerness and yet it does affect their character and personality and how it all feels so real about it
about the parallels between derby and bif / achilles and patroclus.
first of all, i need to warn you- if you have read the song of achilles, delete it from your brain. forget about it forever you can rest now it was all a bad dream. know that both their personalities and their dynamics were simplified and stripped of all their cultural significance, reducing them to a hormonal-thirteen-years-olds-wattpad-fanfiction-from-2012 kind of story that fucking irks me as a classic lits student. with all due respect to thirteen year olds writing fanfic on wattpad in 2012.
so, the thing about them. achilles is the strongest warrior of the greeks, just him deciding not to partake in the war is a decisive hit for the army; just one nod of his is enough to decide the entire fate of his companions. but also, he's driven by blind pride, personal gain, an archaic and profound sense of honor. except that, you know- this is much more natural of a mindset than it might seem, because it's a very part of the societal and cultural structure these warriors live in. it is a value that's passed on within generation and that any sane citizen would've had, it was the mentality of the ruling class and the contrary would've been an anomaly. (if ur interested in this aspect: see archilocus' shield)
i think it's already easy to notice how this parallels some of the very core aspects of the preps' context and derby in particular. every action, their very existence is a matter of honor and reputation; for derby in particular, the leader, the one who always calls the shots, and when he wants something there's no one stopping him, not even his own clique. he will have what he wants, and if just one small offense is done to him, it's everyone's fault, and nothing will get better unless the cut is mended.
and then there's patroclus. older, wiser. he's not as powerful as achilles, but he's a level-minded, resistant and skilled warrior, favored by the gods. that's mostly what i hate about what madeline miller did to him, trying to make him into a relatable, pacifist softboy- he's one of the greatest warriors of the army, respected and recognized by all. he's perfectly capable of standing up on his own and fighting without achilles, basically massacring an entire army; if apollo didn't intervene, he would have won against hector change my mind
the thing about them, though, is that... they're still stronger together. a warrior's arms were a sacred thing, so when patroclus wears achille's armor is much more than a simple impersonation. they re exchanging power, almost blending into each other, and patroclus fights with his own and achilles' power. do you see the parallel there?
derby is of course a great leader, and bif is a powerful fighter on his own; but when you put them together they become unbeatable, a force of nature that is born from the union of them.
and also!! one of my favorite scenes from the iliad is one where we see achilles, in his tent, playing the lyre, while patroclus sits in front of him. for one: sitting in front of each other was a gesture of great intimacy, almost symbolic. two: this is almost a contradiction with what we said about achilles before. he is a demigod, but here and now, playing sad music, sitting in front of patroclus, he becomes human.
and that's the thing about derby and bif, that in their life they're expected to uphold aristocratic values, to never show any trace of imperfections or flaws. that their pride and reputation, as they have been told their whole lives, is essential, and they have nothing without it. and yet, when they are together, they just let that superhuman mask fall, and they can just be fragile, emotional, they can have a heart beating and flesh and blood and they can love. when they're together they are human again
tad and peanut / romeo and juliet | bryce and chad / cupid and psyche
about the parallels between tad and peanut / romeo and juliet.
the first layer, the simplest and most immediate one- forbidden romance, rival factions.
like, neither of the two ever imagined what the other could ever mean to them until their streets really crossed and they met each other's real self and they knew, y'know.
speaking of eyes, we have met one key term. you might know that i'm completely obsessed with gazes, glances, eyes and so forth. i could attempt at doing a history of the concept of sight in literature, but i will just say: only know that in ancient greek the past form of the verb “see” is the same work used for “to know” (as in, “i saw, therefore i know”, not only with the physical eyes but especially the eyes of the soul. actually keep this in mind).
in shakespeare's play this is very important, since romeo understands that juliet sort of is his “soulmate”, so to speak, is when he looks her in the eye
sort of. unrelated but i beg you please read the ballroom scene it is one of the best pieces of poetry ever in modern literature it's so full of feelings and references and everything is so charged with meaning it consumes me daily
where i want to go with this is. that tad and peanut do antagonize each other, but when the occasion comes for them to see, therefore to know (see the note about the greek terms i mentioned before-i don't know how much shakespeare knew about ancient greek of course, but i do believe that the existence of the concept in itself must mean something about the collective mindset, ykwim?) each other's soul.
this allowing them to find in each other the mirror of so many of their insecurities and doubts and inadequacies and see all the mist that was holding them back dissolve. becuase then again they have soooo much in common alright, but they need to see it in each other to understand that they share so much ans find that connection.
and then there’s my favorite part, the one that made me fall in love with the play and made me reevaluate it completely from what i thought when i was a kid. to put it simply: love wins.
montagues and capulets are at each other's throats, rivals since generations to the point that they barely need a reason anymore. when romeo and juliet find each other, their connection literally jumps over that hatred, making them realize how senseless and harmful that was. when they die together, the two families come together in grief, finally erasing that line that kept them separate. i'm telling you, it's genuine love winning over the senseless hate, the violent ends to these violent delights that… end it, that's exactly it, allowing them to grow past that history of conflict.
now, of course greasers and preps have much more valid and complex reasons for their conflict, i don't think i need to specify that. but yet, in all their previous interactions tad and peanut have been marked by this hatred, not between individuals but between groups.
but when the moment we mentioned before comes, when they see each other, there's an understanding, a connection that leaps over that conflict, over their differences and the walls that nothing but the conditions they came to the world to put between them. they are unjust, and unfair, and rightfully one wonders why they should live each within these fences, why it is this hard to get out of them.
there's dangers, in following through with a relationship. there are obstacles and difficulties and it's like walking over a suspension bridge hanging on an abyss and armies at both sides. and yet, yet they decide to go on, to hang on tight to each other, just by virtue of that soul filling love and understanding that they find in each other, something so profound that becomes universal
derby and bif / achilles and partoclus | bryce and chad / cupid and psyche
