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Shared My Body and My Mind With You (That’s All Over Now): Chapter 5

Six months ago Felicity did the unthinkable and paid to have sex with the one and only Oliver. Despite being worlds apart they’ve become close friends, but what happens as feelings change, a rival comes into the picture, and a friendship suddenly starts to break? An offshoot of a prostitute/client AU, which comes from my one-shot “Taste of Your Poison Paradise.”

This chapter has a BDSM scene that’s not an accurate representation of BDSM. It was done on purpose, so please keep in mind Oliver’s actions are written carelessly for a reason. It’s nothing too intense (there’s only spanking) but if you prefer not to read it, it starts with “Well … This is new” and ends with “Taking one last look at Clare …”

Once again, I have to give a massive thank you to @curvy-tam and @the-mimi-hiddleston for being wonderful Fic Bang buddies! And many thanks to the amazing @awriterincowboyboots!

I apologize for any mistakes, and thank you all for the lovely reviews!

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4

The door flies open into Verdant, the sound ricocheting off the club’s walls and jolting the club awake. His blood boiling in rage, Oliver thunders past the bar and heads straight to where Isabel is conducting business. Isabel doesn’t seem to pay any mind to who’s approaching, but the escort she’s talking to immediately stands as soon as she sees Oliver come up. He gives her a quick glance while silently telling her to leave, and sensing something serious is about to happen, she doesn’t waste another second before turning and leaving.

Oliver steps closer to Isabel and towers over her, but she continues to write in her accounting book as if she has all the time in the world. Her indifference indicates she knows exactly why he’s here, and it does nothing to lessen his anger. Fuck her.

“Why aren’t you letting Taiana leave?

After last night’s horrifying events, Oliver took the escort – Taiana – back to his place and made sure she was physically and emotionally fine, at least for the time being. He let her crash in his bed, but come morning Taiana got a call from Isabel asking her about the client. Taiana didn’t say much during the conversation, but after Oliver pushed Taiana to ask Isabel for more details, Isabel said the client who was about to rape Taiana alleged she beat him bloody and he wanted a full refund. And because Taiana allegedly beat a man, she owes Isabel. A lot. The news infuriated Oliver, and here he is, willing to go toe to toe with the Snake of Chicago.

Isabel takes her sweet time to finish her work, her pen moving along the paper in practiced motions. Once she finishes, she calmly puts her books away and relaxes in the couch, sizing Oliver up. Her eyes touch upon Oliver’s bruised knuckles but she makes no comment of it. “Taiana signed a contract, she’s legally bound by it, and she owes me money. I thought you of all people would understand that. And why do you suddenly care about her?”

Oliver ignores her question because he’s too busy fuming in anger. He fucking hates her. She’s so selfish and disgusting. Isabel preys on innocent, lonely girls like Taiana and doesn’t give a thought to what might happen to them if someone like Oliver isn’t around to help them.

Oliver’s walking on a fine line here, but damn it, he can’t let this go. Taiana can’t stay as an escort – it’s too dangerous for her, and he vowed to get Taiana out of this business. He already plans to have Taiana become an employee at Jitters, but if she’s not allowed to leave Isabel’s grasp, then it’ll be next to impossible to get Taiana a legal job elsewhere.

But he has to try.

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“Being an escort is illegal. Shouldn’t it make her contract not legally binding, then?”

If looks could kill, Isabel’s would’ve definitely blown Oliver to smithereens. Her eyes form into narrow slits and any trace of warmth she had left in her cold, black soul disappears. She doesn’t move a single muscle as she does so, and the simple action makes her more terrifying than usual. Swallowing thickly, Oliver does his best to stand a little taller and not let Isabel’s icy stare freeze his insides.

“Thomas, if I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought you were a lawyer.” She humorlessly chuckles to herself, as if it would be impossible to imagine Oliver as one. “But seeing as you’re not and taking into account you’re my employee,” Isabel hisses, “you don’t get to question my decisions.”

When Oliver was younger, fighting against authority figures was his way of passing time. It was so easy for him to rile up his parents, teachers, even cops. He enjoyed pushing people past their limit – he wanted to see if they would break, and in return, break him. It was a game meant to satisfy his craving for something dangerous. Of course, it never happened and Oliver continued to live out his life free of any consequences.

But right now, seeing Isabel’s fury brimming just under the surface is a frightening sight for him. He never imagined what it would feel to have someone powerful – someone who could truly hurt him – threaten him, but today he’s gotten his first glimpse of it. And he’s not sure if he wants to play this game anymore.

“I know all there is to know about you, Thomas. Don’t push it.”

His breath catches in his throat while his heart beats thunderously beneath his chest as a tiny, satisfied smirk begins to form on her thin, villainous lips. Oliver starts to wonder if Isabel’s done her research on him but whether or not she’s bluffing doesn’t matter – her confidence shakes Oliver to the core.

Having Isabel as an enemy isn’t a good idea, and if this were yesterday he would’ve apologized immediately but back in his apartment there’s a young girl terrified of going back out as an escort, and he promised himself he would get her out of it.

Oliver’s given up on a lot of things and this won’t be one of them.

Clearing his throat, Oliver does his best to appear apologetic. “I … I won’t bother you again.”

“Good,” Isabel responds curtly. “And I don’t want you to ever disrupt another meeting of mine. Got it?”

She’s got a smug look on her face, and it takes every ounce of strength to stop himself from breaking Isabel in half. “Yeah.”

Satisfied, Isabel swiftly returns her attention back to her books. As he watches her calmly crunch numbers, Oliver feels a hint of a panic hit him, but of a different kind – the one where he knows he’s going to do something stupid, and that it might fail, but there’s no stopping. For once in his life, Oliver actually intends to take something into his own hands.

And destroying Isabel seems to be a good place to start.

~/~

The clock reads fifteen past ten in the morning but to Felicity it feels like it’s well into the afternoon. Her eyes burn with lack of sleep and overall exhaustion, and the only way to function is to drink copious amounts of coffee. She’s well aware of how addicted she is, but until Caitlin or anyone else can find something which will give her a nine hour energy boost, coffee it is.

(Maybe it should be called Velocity 9. The name alone would convince Felicity to buy a twelve pack in an instant.)

Sighing, she leaves her office and heads straight to the kitchen. Since her office is nearby the main conference room, Felicity likes to take a peek as to what’s transpiring in there. Typically it’s empty, but sometimes senior managers meet once in awhile to discuss their projects. Other than that the room is rarely used and collects dust as everyone else goes about their daily business.

But today is a little different – Brian, her boss, and the director of Kord Industries’ R&D are in the conference room with Hartley. They’re all smiling and laughing at something, and she’s suddenly hit with a feeling of intense dread. Her stomach churns and her throat closes up, because the director of R&D never ventures into the IT department.

Something’s up and it makes Felicity beyond nervous to see everyone act friendly with each other. Hartley’s a simple researcher – how is it possible he’s having a meeting with such important people?

Her stomach still churning, Felicity continues to walk towards the kitchen but she’s suddenly not in the mood for coffee. She’s about to turn away when she spots Caitlin and the IT Department’s secretary, Jerry, talking by the counter. Caitlin notices Felicity and beckons her to come over and despite the fact she has to know what’s going on Felicity reluctantly joins.

“Hey, do you guys know why Hartley’s speaking with Brian in the conference room?” Felicity inquires.

This appears to be news for Caitlin since her eyes immediately go round, but Jerry seems to have known beforehand as he nods solemnly. “Mr. Schaeffer’s secretary called me up today to block off time in the conference room.”

Felicity’s heart beats loudly beneath her chest as she prepares herself to ask Jerry the most important question of all. “Do you know why?”

Glancing out the hallway then between her coworkers, he leans forward and says low, “He’s being offered the Senior IT Consultant position. If it were up to me, I would’ve fired him a long time ago.”

A sudden wave of nausea hits Felicity as her stomach drops to the floor and her head spins in circles. She can hear the blood thunderously pump inside her ears – she’s briefly aware of Caitlin asking Jerry for more details, but Felicity can’t bother to stand here for another minute. She has to leave. Now.

Pushing past the two, Felicity runs straight back to her office, making sure to avoid looking at the conference room. Her heart beating wildly and not caring about office etiquette, Felicity slams her door shut and stops in the middle of her office. Her body can’t handle the onslaught of emotions – her legs are shaking and she feels like she might throw up.

With an unsteady breath, Felicity sits down in the nearest chair and tries to control her panicked state. Taking in another breath, she attempts to rein in her emotions and assess what just transpired. It appears, of all people, Hartley Rathaway was offered the Senior IT Consultant position at Kord Industries. And based on what she saw on her way to the kitchen, it looks like he accepted the offer.

What. The. Frack.

Hartley’s been working for the same amount of time Felicity’s been at Kord, yet he’s been given the job Felicity’s been working towards ever since she got there. He’s an entitled asshole who barely spends time in the IT department – no one likes him, not even anyone in R&D. How did he get this offer when Felicity’s worked overtime, spent her weekends working and slaving over every detail to make sure it’s perfect?

But she already knows the answer: Felicity’s a woman and women don’t get to move up in the business world.

All of a sudden Felicity’s nausea and dizziness subsidizes, and she sees red everywhere. Her skin burns with adrenaline and anger, and she has the urge to knock over everything on her desk.

Except she doesn’t.

Instead, Felicity swiftly heads over to her desk and grabs her cell phone, immediately scrolling through her call log and searching for the person who could make this a thousand times better. Her hand shaking, Felicity almost dials Ray’s number before stopping and second-guessing herself.

She has no doubt she’ll have a conversation with Brian about why Hartley was hired as opposed to her, and Felicity imagines a scenario in which she tells him to fuck off and burns the whole building down (after escorting out innocent people who had nothing to do with this situation, of course). But no matter what Brian says, Felicity knows she was overlooked because she’s a woman, and the thought alone boils her blood. Felicity can’t possibly stay at a company where she’s treated like a second-class citizen and looked over for any senior position she’s clearly qualified for. Kord Industries should be begging on their knees to keep someone like Felicity in their company, but it seems they could care less about having a certified genius and dedicated worker around.

Yet, calling Ray up and asking for a position at Palmer Tech will mean she’ll move to Star City and leave her life behind in Chicago. And Felicity loves Chicago – she loves the food, the people, the Midwestern charm mixed in with an aggressive city attitude, the stunning architecture and her friends. In the past three years Chicago has become her home, and Felicity doesn’t want to let it go.

Or maybe she doesn’t want to let go of someone.

***

“Well … This is new.”

His client, Clare, laughs and shakes her head. “Am I supposed to be proud I’m your first client to not orgasm and tell you to stop?”

Oliver can sense she’s a little self-conscious right now and quickly tries to remedy the situation. “You’re not the first client to not orgasm on the first try. You’re not alone.”

“But I feel like it.” Clare buries her face in her hands and groans loudly. “I love sex! Or at least I used to. Why is this happening?”

Two weeks ago Oliver got an appointment request by Clare and thought nothing of it. It wasn’t until he met her today he realized A) this appointment was set up by her husband, and B) she was a lot more complicated than she appeared. Her appointment is supposed to last an hour plus extra thirty minutes if need be, but thirty minutes into this session and she’s ready to give up.

Oliver’s not fazed – he’s had clients who would have to dump a gallon of lube in order to make things smoother, and he’s had clients who never even knew what an actual orgasm felt like. Clare’s story isn’t unique, and unfortunately it’s a common problem among women.

Currently, they’re sitting on opposite sides of the bed completely naked. Clare doesn’t seem the least bit awkward right now, for which Oliver is grateful – he doesn’t get very many clients who are comfortable with their bodies. “Maybe after having my first kid my body decided orgasming wasn’t a thing.”

Oliver suspected Clare had just given birth considering the stretch marks and the scar on her abdomen, but he didn’t ask her in fear of being insensitive. “That’s not possible – it’s got to be something else. Kids don’t just –”

“Kill your sex drive? You’d be surprised. Wait till you have to wake up every two hours at night to get them to stop crying.”

He laughs tiredly and tries to mask how disinterested he is in this appointment. Although Clare is much more tolerable than his other clients, he can’t stop thinking about Taiana going back to prostitution, and his bruised knuckles reminding him of last night’s events. Typically he’s willing to solve a conundrum like this but he’s not in the mood. Still, Clare came to him for a specific reason and he doesn’t want to let her down.

“Have you been stressed?”

She shakes her head. “Ever since I had my daughter I stopped going to work, so I have nothing else to worry about besides her.” Fiddling with the blanket she adds, “My husband and I are in a good place – obviously, since he suggested I come to you – and financially we’re doing fine. I really don’t know what the issue is.”

Perplexed by this enigma, Oliver searches his brain for any kind of solution. “Have you tried role playing?”

Clare looks at him curiously before bursting into a fit of giggles. “Like Fifty Shades of Grey? No thanks!”

The mere mention of that horrid book almost causes Oliver to almost vomit, but he manages to hold it in. “Fifty Shades isn’t what I had in mind. Although …”

Come to think of it, maybe Clare is having a hard time orgasming because she’s not being stimulated in the right way. In the thirty minutes they were having sex, they tried various positions but none of them did anything for her. No doubt she was aroused, but it wasn’t enough to send her over the edge.

But what if she has a fetish she doesn’t know about? Often times, people don’t venture into these avenues because of the stigma attached to it.

“Have you tried BDSM?”

“BDSM?” Her eyebrows furrow in concentration. “I mean, the closest we get to that is when we do doggy style and the like …”

Shaking his head, Oliver tries to rephrase his question to make it more understandable. “When I say BDSM, I mean tying you – or your husband – down, spanking, things like that.”

“Oh.”

Clare cheeks redden slightly and Oliver assumes she’s probably thought about it but felt embarrassed voicing her desires. What a shame.

“I don’t think I’m comfortable with that. And I’m a feminist. Spanking is – no.”

Oliver bites the inside of his cheek to hold back a smirk. “You can be a feminist and still enjoy spanking. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.”

Sighing with exasperation, Clare shrugs and rubs the nape of her neck. “I … I don’t know, it feels a little degrading.”

“I get it.” It’s painfully obvious Clare wants to venture into the world of BDSM, but she’s too shy to step into the rabbit hole. If Clare voiced a desire to try BDSM, Oliver would’ve canceled the appointment and referred her to Emerald’s seasoned BDSM experts. Instead, it seems Oliver will have to coax it out of her until she feels comfortable admitting it’s what she wants. He knows he’s not entirely qualified to give Clare an entire BDSM experience, but he feels he can handle a little precursor to the world of BDSM.

“We could start small – nothing too intense like actual BDSM.” He hopes this suggestion will make Clare less uncomfortable.

Contemplating for a moment, Clare shakes her head and looks down on the bed. “I’d probably laugh the whole time or something.” Glancing down at the bed, Clare mumbles, “Maybe you could be a …”

He’s straining his ears at this point, and once she trails off Oliver clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Now’s not the time to be shy – I’ve had a lot of odd requests. Trust me when I say nothing will faze me,” he assures her.

Taking a deep breath, Clare takes a moment to compose herself while Oliver waits in anticipation. “Could you be a little … rough? Just, you know, hair pulling and ordering me around …”

Now that is certainly the tamest request he’s ever had. “Yeah. Anything you want.” Oliver shifts on the bed and asks, “Do you have anything you don’t want to do? I think it would be good if you made a list of what you want and don’t want.”

Clare’s eyes widen then she shrugs. “I guess … no crazy stuff? I don’t know. I don’t want anything that’ll make me gag or leave me with bruises.”

“Right – so no hard kinks,” Oliver clarifies. She simply nods, as if she’s a student in math class who’s slightly confused, but after reviewing notes she’ll catch up soon. “I can work with that.”

“OK.”

There’s an awkward pause and Oliver can tell Clare’s getting nervous. He knows she won’t initiate anything, so he takes it upon himself to do so.

Getting into the right mindset, Oliver seductively leans forward and gazes into Clare’s eyes, imitating a form of lust only films can conjure. He notices Clare’s a bit intrigued but still on edge – he’ll fix that soon enough. Bringing a hand up to her cheek, Oliver cups her face and gently beckons her forward. Kissing her lightly, Oliver lets Clare lower her guard before biting down onto her lower lip just enough to give her a pause.

Pulling back, Clare seems slightly affronted but there’s a spark in her eyes, and they shine with curiosity. Grinning, Oliver goes to kiss her once more, but she pulls back again with a glint in her eye.

It appears Clare wants a challenge. And he’ll give that to her.

With his hand still cupping her face, Oliver drags it down a little lower and tucks his fingers beneath her jaw and earlobe, while gently massaging the nape of her neck with his remaining four fingers. Clare’s eyes flutter for a moment, her guard once again lowering, but Oliver has other plans. Clare gasps as Oliver yanks her head towards him and crushes her mouth against his, punishing her mouth in all the ways he can think of.

Moaning loudly, Clare’s hands come up to wrap around his broad shoulders but he doesn’t let her. Still kissing her, Oliver let goes of her face and traps her hands, preventing them from moving anywhere.

Needing some air, Oliver pulls back and breathes harshly, but he doesn’t miss Clare’s eyes glossing over and blackening as her arousal increases. There’s a fire burning in Oliver too – he can feel some sort of tension coiling up inside of him, begging to be let out.

Taking one last look at Clare’s and letting go of her hands, he hoarsely orders, “Lie on your stomach.”

She hesitates for a split second, but as Oliver narrows his eyes and silently commands her to obey him, Clare gets the hint and slowly rolls over. Positioning himself behind her, Oliver gets a nice view of her backside – he can tell she’s working on getting back to her former shape pre-baby.

Leaning forward, Oliver goes to kiss her shoulders but ends up gently biting her – Clare gasps but holds still, while her hands clench the pillows in front of her. Smiling to himself, Oliver gently laps at the area of impact before moving to the other shoulder. From the way Clare’s shoulder’s have tensed, Oliver can tell she assumes he’ll bite her there, but he doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing what’s coming next.

Instead, he grabs a fistful of hair and slightly yanks her head back, watching as Clare’s lovely neck becomes elongated and practically begging to be kissed. Clare lets out a tiny yelp, but he swallows it by leaning over and kissing her unashamedly. She’s not the best kisser but she’s a fast learner – pretty soon, Oliver’s starting to enjoy making out with her and hums his approval.

He abruptly pulls back, leaving Clare breathless and wondering what he’s going to do now. Craning her neck to the side, Clare tries to get a better glimpse but Oliver clicks his tongue.

“No peeking.”

“But –”

“And no talking.”

Clare seems a little taken aback, as if she’s not used to people ordering her around. Figures – she’s a socialite with a daddy who owns half of Chicago. (Naturally, Oliver did his research on her.) Having a prostitute tell her what she can and can’t do might be throwing her off balance.

But he doesn’t care. He has a job to do.

Swallowing her pride, Clare turns her head back around and Oliver goes to lift her ass up to him. She willingly obliges – maybe too much – but it lets him know she’s enjoying this moment.

She’s soaking wet at this point, but Oliver has to stimulate her more and needs her begging before he’ll give her what she’ll want. Palming her ass, Oliver kneads it for a moment then dips his fingers between her folds. Moaning wantonly, Clare practically sinks into the bed and lets Oliver’s fingers fuck her in any way he wants. He goes slow at first, focused on getting her comfortable and finding all the ways she likes to be touched. His fingers gently brush over her clit and she pushes back against him, but the action causes him to abruptly remove his fingers out.

Clare clicks her tongue in annoyance and she turns her neck to see why Oliver stopped. Shaking his head, Oliver leans back and leaves a large amount of distance between them. “What did I say about peeking?”

Huffing in annoyance, Clare turns her head back around and settles onto the bed. Although she’s not used to people ordering her, Oliver notices a rosy flush beginning to form on the apples of her cheeks and her pupils dilating more with each passing second. If Clare wasn’t able to orgasm before, she certainly is now.

Seeing how willing she is, Oliver decides to up the ante. “I want to add one more thing on the list of things you can’t do: moving around.”

Clare immediately moves her neck to possibly roll her eyes at him but stops short of doing so. Good girl. He can see her steeling her resolve and trying to come to terms with the fact that she’s enjoying the hell out of being ordered around. Some people have kinks they otherwise wouldn’t dare explore, and Clare’s one of them. Today is her lucky day, Oliver muses.

Once she’s settled into her respective role, Oliver comes near her and leans forward, putting his mouth close to her ear. She shivers at the contact, and Oliver almost laughs at how easily he’s able to make her into a puddle of obedience. “Remember: no peeking, no talking and definitely no moving.”

She then steadies herself, positioning her body so that Oliver can take her from behind as smoothly as he can. He stalls for a moment, waiting to see if she’ll turn impatient and ruin this whole thing. Instead, she surprises him by keeping still and biting her tongue back.

Slowly, Oliver sinks into her even though she’s been introduced to his size before – he just wants to see how she’ll react to his excruciatingly slow process. His hard-on is beginning to be an issue as well, since he just had to take Viagra, and he wants to get this appointment over with so he can relieve all the pressure.

Oliver quickly builds up the pace, grabbing onto Clare’s hips and slamming into her without a care in the world. His pelvis slaps against her bum, and the sound of it mixed in with the heady smell of sex spurs him on. Clare doesn’t move an inch, look over her shoulder or speak, but he sees her fisting the pillows in front of her and can hear her holding back her cries of pleasure.

As Oliver builds up a furious tempo, Clare suddenly says, “Wait.”

Breathless, Oliver stops immediately and worries he might have been too vigorous in his fucking. “Something wrong?” If he accidentally hurt Clare or displeased her, there’s a chance she could tell Isabel, and Isabel doesn’t take bad reviews too lightly.

“No, no I – actually … Can you…”

“Yeah?” As much as Clare has been a better client (compared to many others), his patience is kind of wearing thin. And he knows it’s his job to be as attentive as possible, but right now he’s got so many other things on his mind – Taiana, Isabel’s wrath, and even Felicity blowing him off every chance she gets. Clare’s orgasm problems and her indecisiveness aren’t making matters any better.

Craning her neck to the side, she breaks another one of Oliver’s rules and softly whispers, “I changed my mind.” Oliver stays put, unsure if he should pull out or wait till she explains the situation further.

Swallowing thickly, Clare takes a deep breath and Oliver anticipates what comes out of her mouth next. “Can you … spank me?”

That was expected. “Sure, I can do it.”

“But – but don’t go right to it, if you know what I mean.”

Clare’s facing the headboard back again, but Oliver can tell she’s psyching herself up for his upcoming punishment. But he understands what she wants – a gentle precursor to the world of spanking.

“Gotcha.”

Still inside of her, Oliver pulls out and immediately begins to knead her bum. He debates whether or not he should continue order her around, but since she hasn’t said otherwise he’ll do what she previous asked. Maybe he’ll throw in some dirty talk.

“You’ve been a bad girl, haven’t you?” Still massaging her ass, Oliver tries not to snort at his horrible dirty talk and attempts to control himself. He’s really bad at it, but considering Clare hasn’t said anything maybe she does enjoy it.

“You can nod if you want.” Clare nods vigorously, and her silent answer is all he needs to know in order to continue this appointment.

“Good girl,” he cooes as he continues to knead her ass. Clare’s still bracing for impact as her muscles are naturally tense, and he knows she won’t loosen up anytime soon. Lifting his hand from her ass, Oliver puts all the pressure on his fingertips and smacks her, knowing the impact won’t be too hard on her.

As a reflex, Clare gives a tiny gasp and moves away from him, but Oliver grabs her hips to hold her still. “What did I say about moving?”

Forgetting about Oliver’s rules, Clare scoffs loudly and almost says something before realizing she made a very big mistake. Oliver doesn’t hesitate – his palm forcefully connects to her ass and the sound pierces the air. His hand stings from the attack, but he can only imagine what Clare feels like. Her ass has a big, red imprint of his hand, and she’s tensed up a lot more now. Oliver worries he was too harsh on her, but she surprises him when she doesn’t say a word and slightly pushes her bum back, silently begging for more. Clare doesn’t respond or move a muscle, but the slickness coating her inner thighs lets Oliver know this is exactly what she needed the entire time. And if she handle this much, she can handle more.

“And that’s what happens when you break the rules. So next time control yourself.”

He goes on to play with her folds, teasing her just enough to make her relaxed once again, then abruptly spanking her, his hand stinging from the impact. Clare holds on tight and doesn’t move an inch. “Atta girl.” Leaning forward, Oliver comes up to her ear once more and whispers, “If you’re a good girl maybe I’ll let you come. And trust me, after I’m done with you … you will.”

Clare closes her eyes in lust and at the idea of finally getting a chance to orgasm; meanwhile Oliver’s excited at the prospect of getting this appointment over with. Bringing up his hand again, Oliver smacks her bum, harder than last time, and Clare takes in like the champ she is.

One spank turns into three, and something begins to stir inside Oliver. He’s feeling anxious, angry and confused all rolled into one horribly shaped emotion ball. He’s barely able to keep it in. His vision narrows and he’s only focused on his turbulent emotions and his hand connecting with Clare’s ass like a well-oiled machine.

Tianna lying underneath the man with her clothes ripped of …

Smack!

Isabel’s satanic face …

Smack!

Felicity blowing him off …

Smack!

Not being good enough for Felicity, his sister and parents …

Smack!

Being a complete failure and a prostitute …

Smack, smack, smack –

“Ow!”

Oliver’s hand stops midair, frozen in time and space. It takes him a moment to register what he’s done, but once Clare’s word sinks in and he sees her bum completely red from his hands, he thinks he might vomit.

Breaking from his trance, Oliver crumbles and hurriedly tries to create some distance between them. A rush of adrenaline hits him and he can’t even see straight. His heart beats erratically and the full realization of what he’s done hits him like a ton of bricks.

“I – I’m sorry, I shouldn’t –”

Shit! There’s no way to ignore this – he genuinely lost control in the middle of an appointment. His vision blurs and he shakes his head as he tries to reconcile with what he did. As bile moves its way up to his throat, Oliver can’t believe he injured a client when he explicitly knows he shouldn’t have done that. And to make matters worse, he genuinely forgot to ask Clare for a safe word.

What’s wrong with him? Oliver’s a professional – he’s supposed to be better than this. Spiraling out of control during an appointment is unbecoming of him. It shows he’s not strong enough to keep his emotions in check, and the realization makes him dizzy with frustration. Mentally kicking himself on the head, Oliver’s self-loathing reaches at an alltime high – being an escort is the easiest job in the world and he can’t even do that.

With shaky legs, Oliver unsteadily stands up and closes his eyes in disgust. He’s the epitome of the word pathetic, and he can’t stay here a minute longer.

“Wait – I still want –” Clare turns around and her eyes go wide once she sees Oliver gathering his clothes. “What are you doing?”

“I should leave.” Refusing to look at her and with trembling hands, Oliver tries to put on his clothes as fast as he can.

“Thomas, wait.” Clare sits up on the bed and beckons him over. “That wasn’t –”

“Clare, I’m sorry but I – I should really go.” He’s put on all of his clothes now and swiftly checks to see if he’s left anything else behind. His legs are still unsteady and he’s unsure if he’ll be able to make it out of the door.

“What the hell …” Clare throws her hands in the air and angrily asks, “Can’t you tell me what went wrong?”

Taking a deep breath, Oliver gathers enough courage to look at Clare for a split second. “Look, I won’t charge you for this.”

“I don’t care about that.”

Oliver takes a peek and sees that her arms are folded, while she peers at Oliver with equal parts concern and annoyance. He wishes he could tell her what went wrong, to even how he’s fucked up his life, but he can’t. No one wants to hear a prostitute tell their sob story, especially not after he hurt them.

Taking one last look at Clare, he mumbles “I’m … sorry” and opens the door to leave, ignoring Clare’s protests as he hangs his head in shame.

~/~

It’s been nearly a month since Felicity’s seen Oliver in person, and she hopes tonight’s movie night will make up for her absence. Although they text, it’s not enough to fill the void of not seeing him in month. She hopes he doesn’t think she was blowing him off, which can’t be further from the truth. Tonight is going to be all about getting back together like old times, and she wants it to be as perfect as it can be.

Unfortunately, she’s been in a horrible mood since she found out Hartley got promoted instead of her, and no amount of candy, wine and food will calm her down. Hopefully Oliver’s presence and a lighthearted film will do the trick.

As Felicity sets up the food, she ponders whether or not she should take Ray’s offer for a position at Palmer Tech. Moving to Star City will naturally give her a better job and overall atmosphere than at Kord, but it will put her a short plane ride away from her mother and Felicity can’t possibly have that. And most of all, she’ll be leaving behind her friends, this lovely city and Oliver. But is staying in Chicago for friends and good food worth it when she could have a lifetime of opportunities at Star City?

She doesn’t want to be the kind of girl who sits around for an opportunity to fall on her lap while hundreds go by her, but for some reason she can’t shake this off. Felicity had never intended on becoming a chief officer – she thought becoming senior manager or director would satisfy her until she retired. But this is uncharted territory for Felicity and she doesn’t even know where to begin. The amount of money and exposure she’ll get from becoming CTO will be astronomical, and she’ll actually get a chance to make a real difference.

What Felicity really needs is a definitive answer from the person who matters to her most, because she ultimately wants someone to tell her what to do. However, she has to keep in mind what she wants may not be the best thing for her. Maybe what she needs is a change of scenery, coworkers and a job title that’ll allow her to change the world.

A loud knock interrupts her thoughts and excited at the prospect of seeing Oliver, she happily opens the door, but her cheery mood is shot to hell after seeing Oliver’s uninterested expression.

Well … This is odd.

He looks dashing, of course, with a leather jacket and white shirt underneath, but she can tell something’s off. His eyes are not as warm as they used to be and his lips are in a thin, neutral line as opposed to a smile. Upon seeing Felicity, he feigns happiness by giving her a tight smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

In order to dispel whatever tension there seems to be, Felicity gives him a warm smile and greets, “Hey! How are you?”

Oliver’s face goes from indifferent to slightly less indifferent, and at this point Felicity’s beyond confused as to why he’s behaving this way. “Hey. I’m good,” he says gruffly, as his eyes wander inside the apartment. “Mind if I come in?”

He doesn’t waste time, does he? “Uh – nope, not at all. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Felicity attempts to joke. The joke does nothing to alleviate Oliver’s cool attitude towards her – he simply gives another fake smile and pretends it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Counting backwards from three, Felicity takes a deep breath and tries not to blow up on Oliver. Ever since this morning’s events she’s been walking on pins and needles. She graciously invited him to her apartment – the least he could do is act excited about it.

Once Felicity shuts the door behind him, she quickly walks over to the kitchen counter and points to all the food. “I don’t think we’ve had Korean yet, so I bought a whole bunch in case you didn’t like a particular dish.” She smiles again and adds, “Obviously I’m not a cultured or adventurous eater, so you’ll have to tell me if something is worth trying.”

Oliver simply nods and Felicity can practically feel the disinterest roll off of him in waves. Why does he have to act like this? They haven’t seen each other in so long, and he’s ruining their get together – again – due to his moody attitude.

Felicity soldiers on while she tries to ignore his horrible behavior.

“So anyway, I have major news to tell you.”

“Oh yeah?”

It seems like his interest has piqued, and Felicity takes it as a good sign that his cold demeanor is slowly thawing. “But it’s not good news.”

“Oh. Yikes,” he deadpans. He sits on one of the dining chairs and opens a bottle of water, waiting for Felicity to explain. He might as well put on headphones and tune her out, and it takes every bit of strength to not roll her eyes at him.

“Hartley got promoted as a Senior Consultant.”

Immediately, his nonchalant façade breaks and eyes go wide with shock. “What the hell?”

“Right?” Felicity happily sits leans against the counter, because now she feels like they’ve reached a common ground – that ground being their mutual hatred against Hartley. And on the plus side, she now has a chance to vent.

“I saw him, my manager and the director of R&D talking in the conference room, and after I asked around I found out the truth. It’s almost as bad of a twist as Ned Stark dying.”

Well, that’s debatable.

Oliver blows out a breath. “What are you going to do?”

There it is: the moment of truth. She considers telling Oliver about her plan, but she needs to know what he thinks of it. In some weird way, Felicity feels as if she needs his approval before joining Palmer Tech. Whether it’s due to his odd (unknown) feelings towards Ray or how much she’s come to rely on Oliver for everything, Felicity feels she can’t make a proper decision until she hears what he has to say.

Taking a deep breath, Felicity looks at Oliver square in the eye and steadies herself. “I was thinking about taking the job offer from Palmer Tech.”

That does it – the atmosphere shifts from slightly normal to downright unbearable, and Felicity’s positive this night is completely ruined. Instead of being happy for her, Oliver’s face pales and his eyes narrow in contemplation, while Felicity’s heart beats thunderously beneath her chest. Swallowing thickly, Felicity holds her guns steady and does her best not to let Oliver’s response – or lack thereof – upset her.

After a tense few seconds, Oliver finally opens his mouth and asks, “Why?”

The real question is why wouldn’t she consider taking Ray’s offer? She was looked over for a senior position at a job she’s given so much to, and he’s actually wondering why she’s thinking about getting a job – a job she doesn’t have to apply for – at Palmer Tech? Ray said she could have any position she wanted, even CTO, which is more than she can ask for. His offer is astronomically better than what Kord Industries’ is giving her, which in case Oliver forgot, happens to be nothing.

Scoffing, Felicity shakes her head in disbelief. “Don’t you remember Ray offering me any position at Palmer Tech?”

“Right. I … forgot.” Oliver simply nods and takes a sip from the water bottle, acting as if he would rather watch the paint dry than hear about Felicity’s prospects and work drama.

She’s getting pretty frustrated now. It’s as if she has to defend why she would go to Palmer Tech, never mind the fact that Palmer Tech is one of the most profitable companies out there with amazing benefits packages. Furthermore, Palmer Tech strives to be a leader in affordable green technology, philanthropy, and helping the American economy by making its products in the States. They’re a socially conscious company, and Felicity’s values fall right in line with Palmer Tech. The company would be a perfect fit for her, but it seems Oliver feels she doesn’t deserve to be there.

Lifting up her chin, Felicity unintentionally slips, “Ray even said he would personally make a public bid to the Board of Directors in order for me to get a chief officer position.”

Frack – she hadn’t meant to let that spill. Although she and Ray have lessened their talking and unofficial dates, they still chat from time to time. After hearing about how wonderful Palmer Tech is – and based off what she’s read online – it seems like Palmer Tech might be the place for her. Plus, if he can convince everyone to let her on board, she might as well.

“You’ve been talking to him a lot, haven’t you?”

Where did that come from?

A lump forms in her throat, preventing her from breathing normally, and her heartbeat increases tenfold. Her mind doesn’t want to overthink what he just said … except it can only mean one thing: he’s jealous of her and Ray talking.

The realization makes her head spin in circles, and her brain tries very hard to justify this doesn’t necessarily mean he has feelings for her. But maybe he does – maybe he’s not happy with her possibly going to Palmer Tech because that would mean she’d have to move. And –

No. She can’t get into such dangerous territory. If – and that’s a big if – Oliver likes her, so what? She’s not going to put her life on standby for Oliver who has yet to express any interest in her. It’s entirely possible Oliver’s upset with her talking to Ray because he thinks she’s been blowing him off for Ray, which is clearly not the case (well, except for one time).

Although, she has thought about what would happen if they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend. She has no doubt he would spoil her with his amazing food and random gifts, and since they’ve been friends for a few months they’re past the phase of getting to know one another. Yet, she doesn’t know a lick about Oliver and would wager he wouldn’t open up even if they got together. Not to mention, Oliver’s a prostitute and Felicity’s not comfortable with telling Oliver to quit his livelihood because she can’t handle sharing him. And that’s a problem for her – relationships are built on communication, honesty and trust.

Their friendship is already on fragile grounds, and forcing a relationship built on lies would surely make things worse. And Felicity can’t begin to imagine how she would introduce Oliver to mother and friends. There’s a reason why Felicity hasn’t told anyone Oliver’s her friend, because she knows their friendship wouldn’t go too well with people in the real world. What they have is unique and weird – unfortunately she knows their tentative friendship won’t be able to handle what real life will throw at them.

Besides, they’re on completely opposite spectrums – while Felicity’s life continues to move forward because she hustles every day, Oliver’s stays stagnant and it’s entirely due to his own volition. Being in a relationship would undoubtedly fail due to their conflicting personalities, as well as their varying future personal and career goals.

And Felicity has to wonder whether these feelings she’s been repressing for awhile are a product of her slowly falling in love with Oliver, or Felicity simply projecting what she wants in a relationship into a friendship.

She realizes now she’s been holding back on Ray’s offer because she’s been hoping Oliver liked her, and not in the platonic way. Felicity liked the idea of she and Oliver, but reality is much different. Unfortunately, pursuing a relationship with him will only make things worse, and more importantly, all the seeds Felicity planted many years ago are finally taking hold – at this point, she would be incredibly stupid to not take Ray’s offer for a potentially tumultuous relationship.

With a heavy heart, Felicity decides once and for all to join Ray at Palmer Tech and leave Chicago, Oliver and everyone else, behind.

It physically pains her to put her friendship aside for her career. Her friendship with Oliver has given her something to look forward to every Sunday and Wednesday, and she doesn’t want to be the kind of person to ruin relationships for the sake of money and a job title. But she has to admit – it’s holding her back from making an important decision, and she has to do what’s best for her, even if it hurts herself and others in the process.

She still needs time to process her decision and let Ray know she plans on leaving Kord Industries for his company, so in the meantime she won’t tell Oliver until things are final. And considering how awful his attitude been since he got here, she definitely doesn’t plan on telling him anything right now.

Focusing back on the matter at hand, Felicity finally says, “Yeah, we have been.”

He looks mildly interested in her answer, but it disappears under a cool expression. “Well, I hope he’s not offering to support you in front of the Board because you two are dating.”

A chill runs down her spine – not in fear, but in anger and complete shock. She feels like she’s had her throat punched, thrown off a building and taken an arrow to the knee. Her breathing rapidly increases, and she fears she won’t be able to handle the torrent of emotions overtaking her.

That was extremely uncalled for. She’s hurt and livid, and she can feel a bead of sweat break on her forehead due to the heat emanating off of her. How dare he insinuate she only got an offer because Ray’s sweet on her, or worse, because he thinks she and Ray have been sleeping together? Oliver knows how hard she’s worked to get where she’s at – she’s never begged, thrown someone under the bus or taken an easier path, and she doesn’t plan to for the foreseeable future.

But for Oliver to mention, let alone think, she got this offer because of her relationship with Ray makes her blood boil. Many years ago Felicity vowed to make a name for herself using her wit, hard work ethic and intelligence. After several sleepless nights, heartaches and one blow after another, she’s done exactly that and couldn’t be prouder. What Oliver said is the biggest insult anyone’s ever told her, and for it to come from someone as close as Oliver hurts her deeply.

Making the decision to move to Star City just got a lot easier. And really, screw him for even saying that.

“Why are you being such a jerk?”

Clearly taken aback from her comment, Oliver immediately masks his confusion by clenching his jaw and getting defensive as well.

“I’m not.”

If only Felicity could roll her eyes at the back of her head, she would. He’s lying and they both know it. “Really? You’ve been nothing but standoffish and rude since you got here.”

“I haven’t.”

“Your,” Felicity begins as she waves her towards his general direction, “everything says otherwise.” She’s not letting him off so easy, and her body shakes with agitation mixed in with a dangerous dose of adrenaline.

Oliver scoffs and she can tell he’s getting riled up too. Whatever. “I’m sorry I’m not throwing confetti at you, if that’s what you wanted.”

“Throwing confetti?”

It appears underneath the charm, his niceness and awesome cooking skills, Oliver is a typical privileged douchebag. She can’t believe she wasted all this time with him. As a friend – as someone she’s dedicated everything to – all she wants is Oliver to be happy for her. She doesn’t want or need him to throw a party. He should know that about her. So why does he think Felicity expects him to dance around her apartment singing “Kumbaya?”

“I just want you –”

“I’m – I’m only wondering why someone like you needs someone like Ray to vouch for them to a Board of Directors when you can sleep your way to the CEO’s bed.”

All the air in the room gets sucked out and is replaced by burning hot gas. It prickles her skin, makes her see red, and she knows after what he said they definitely can’t come back from this.

This is their first real fight as friends, but it’s an ugly one and she can tell there are a lot of unsaid things underneath the horrible words. But she’s so fucking angry, and she’s not in the mood to be a mediator and the only sane one in this argument. She’s had enough of men thinking she should sit quietly and let them treat her like a second-class citizen, and Oliver is no different.

“Funny, because I thought it was your job.”

She immediately feels guilty for what she said and she can see the hurt on Oliver’s eyes. There’s a part of her that wants to apologize and end the night on a good note, but she’s been a human volcano since she found out about Hartley, and she’s sick of taking the high road every single time. Oliver needs to know she’s not the kind of person to always let people trample over her without any repercussions.

He opens his mouth to say something – whether it’s to apologize or say another mean comment – but she doesn’t let him.

“I think you should leave, Oliver.”

Folding her arms, Felicity glances down at the ground and does her best to convey that she doesn’t want him here anymore. Tonight has been … too much, and she can’t sit through another second in this toxic environment.

For the first time during the entire night, Oliver’s face shows real emotions rather than being an expressionless mannequin. Leaning forward, he pleads, “Felicity, I didn’t –”

“I know Oliver, but please.”

She’s so tired right now. Even if he’s willing to apologize Felicity needs to process what happened. And although this may be completely horrible, perhaps it’s best if she completely cut ties from Oliver when she moves to Star City. Trying to hold onto something that wasn’t there in the first place simply complicates things. Felicity needs a fresh start, and she’s no stranger to leaving everything behind in a moment’s notice.

Steadying her resolve, Felicity firmly says, “We need some time to cool off.”

It seems like a solid minute before Oliver moves from the chair – she can sense he’s disappointed, but she doesn’t let it get to her. Once he moves, Felicity can’t muster the courage to look at him as he leaves. It hurts knowing how bad things are ending, but she has to do what’s best for her.

The sound of his heavy shoes echo loudly off the walls, and as he nears the door Felicity can feel Oliver looking at her. It takes every bit of strength to not turn around to run to his arms, but she controls herself and straightens her back in steely resolve. This is it.

After a moment, the door slowly opens but she doesn’t hear it close. She stands that way for awhile, staring straight into the kitchen and trying to process the numbness overtaking her. Robotically, Felicity turns around and almost expects Oliver to be standing there like nothing happened, but instead she finds her door firmly shut and Oliver already gone.

And a life without Oliver, which seemed impossible only a few minutes ago, is now a thing of reality.

~/~

Every curse word known to man rings through Oliver’s mind, and yet, it’s still not enough to fully capture what he’s feeling. There’s a mixture of anger, confusion and guilt all wrapped in one uncontrollable emotion ball. His hands shake as he walks down the street, and his vision blurs from rage and the fear of the unknown.

Tonight was an epic disaster, and he doesn’t know how it spiraled out of control so fast.

When he woke up this morning, Oliver had intended to strong-arm Isabel into letting Taiana go and hoped to go along his appointments as if nothing happened. Instead, Isabel showed him her true colors and it put him in a sour mood the rest of the day, which led him to completely ruin an appointment, and now apparently, destroy his friendship with Felicity.

He had been on edge all day – coming to Felicity’s was supposed to be his time to relax and be with a friend he hadn’t seen in forever. Yet, when he opened the door, he couldn’t put up a friendly front when he knew the poor girl hiding in his apartment would have to go back to prostitution. It plagued his mind the entire day, and no amount of good food and company could alleviate his dark thoughts.

Unfortunately, it was a very big mistake to come over to Felicity’s since he wasn’t in the right mindset. When she had told him about her office drama, Oliver couldn’t help but be annoyed by the frivolousness of her drama. Her problems paled in comparison to his. Whether or not she wants to admit it, Felicity’s life is much easier. She’s not walking with her head peering over her shoulder, convinced she’s going to get caught, thrown in jail and have her face smeared in papers. Oliver lives his life like he’s got everything to lose, and it isn’t too far from the truth. He simply can’t relate to her anymore – in fact, he never did. Felicity was his escape into the real world and now it’s not enough.

Things took a turn for the worse when he found out Felicity might be joining Palmer Tech and has been keeping touch with Ray Palmer himself. There’s a large part of Oliver that feels betrayed – the entire time he thought Felicity was too busy with work to hang out with him, when instead she was cozying up to his biggest rival. She ditched him multiple times to be with an egotistical jerk, and Oliver can’t believe she expected him to be all right with the reveal. Not only did Ray take his family’s company, but also took Felicity from his side.

Well, Felicity was never really his property to begin with – she’s her own, strong, independent person, but Oliver resents how smarmy Ray weaseled his way into their friendship and disrupted their delicate balance they spent hours working on. For so long it’s been them and no one else. Oliver liked having just the two of them sitting together, watching movies and talking about silly things. It was light, easy, and gave Oliver something to look forward to.

Finding out about Ray made him inexplicably jealous and angry. He was tossed aside for a better, well-educated, rich version of himself, and Oliver’s deeply hurt by it. After hearing the news, Oliver couldn’t possibly pretend it didn’t affect him at all, when in fact he felt he’d been injected with a drug that magnified every bit of emotional pain he was already feeling.

Then of course, realizing if Felicity actually goes to Star City, it would mean she’d be gone from his life and makes his days lonely and pathetic as they were before he met her. And in his angry, jealous, betrayed, panicked state, Oliver essentially called Felicity a slut, couldn’t put his selfishness aside to be happy for her job prospects, and made the night a thousand times worse.

He could be a major asshole sometimes and tonight was no exception.

Despite what transpired tonight, Oliver does want Felicity to have everything, and that includes a chief officer position at Palmer Tech. He wants her to succeed and become something that’ll reward her for her intellect and all the hard work she’s put into things.

And God, he’s irrevocably in love with her – there’s no denying it. He loves the way she laughs, smiles, cares about other people, how passionate she can be, and how dedicated she is to make the world a better place. He knows when she’s upset she throws herself into work, loves fried food and hates heights. He loves her laugh and how her nose scrunches up in happiness. The world could go permanently dark and he would still be able to recall every inch of her glorious body, down to the last hair.

Loving Felicity made him forget how much he hated himself. But if he loves her that much, he needs to respect her decisions.

He almost turns around to run back to Felicity and apologize, but stops himself short. She had asked him to leave, and the one thing he can do right now is honor her request. He doesn’t want to end the night on a bad note, but he has to process everything that happened tonight. They’re both on edge right now – coming back would certainly make the situation worse.

Groaning in frustration, Oliver stops walking and takes a deep breath to calm himself down. He feels so agitated – his legs are shaking but he feels he could run all along Lake Shore without breaking a sweat. There’s been a fair share of Oliver Queen’s Best Fucked Up Moments, but he knows he’s never fucked up this bad, and he wants to make right as fast as he can. Patience is never his strong suit, but he has to reel himself in for Felicity’s sake.

The buzzing in his pant pocket shakes him out of his dizzying thoughts, for which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t recognize the number but his gut tells him to answer the phone.

“Hello?” His voice cracks, and Oliver clears his throat to mask how tired and defeated he sounds.

“Is this Thomas Jones?”

His heart skips a beat because only a handful of people know his alias, and he doesn’t recognize this person’s voice. Straining his ear, he can tell the person is calling from someplace busy – there are phones ringing, people yelling, and there’s general chaos surrounding them.

It sounds like a hospital. And Oliver’s been to enough to know what an emergency room sounds like.

Without warning, his stomach drops to the floor and his throat closes up, making it harder for him to breathe. He can tell this isn’t a regular social call – something’s very wrong.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Oliver breathes in deeply and tries not to convey how much he’s dreading this conversation. “Speaking.”

“Mr. Jones, this is Kathy speaking from Holy Cross Hospital.” She stops for a second and Oliver can hear some papers rustling. “I’m … very sorry to call you at an hour like this, but your brother is currently in the hospital.”

All the nervousness Oliver was feeling a minute ago suddenly disappears and is replaced by confusion. Oliver tries to think of someone who would know his Emerald alias, and why they would give his number to a hospital staff, but comes up short. Realizing this might be a long conversation, Oliver steps to the side and leans against the wall. The bricks poke through his jacket and gently stab into his shoulder blades, but he welcomes the pain.

“My … brother,” he replies in a half statement and question, hoping it prompts Kathy to tell him who has his number and escort name in the first place.

“Uh – Yeah. Roy Harper.”

No.

Everything Oliver’s been feeling and repressing – from tonight to the last eight years – tumble forth, causing him to crumble right on the sidewalk. His knees buckle beneath him and he tries to steady himself as he lands on the ground, not caring who’s walking past him and how much it hurts to be sitting on a pile of tiny rocks. His throat closes up and for a moment he feels he might vomit, but a chill washes over him and the feeling disappears.

In the back of his mind Oliver’s aware he’s in shock, but he feels separated from this world. His here but not really, much like how his existence is vast but empty. A bout of dizziness hits him, and closing his eyes, Oliver takes several deep breaths to stop it from spiraling out of control.

He can’t go through this again. He can’t live his life knowing he didn’t get Roy out of his bad habits and being directly responsible for his …

The very thought of the word death causes Oliver to dig his nails into his palms, and a series of images flash through his mind – his father’s dead and cold body, rotting two weeks after being halfway around the word, and his mother’s, lying on her back with arms wide open like a disgraced angel redeeming herself in the end.

Roy wasn’t supposed to turn out like this – he was supposed to be better and be alive. And it’s entirely Oliver’s fault.

He’s vaguely aware of the person asking if he’s on the line, and as he slowly comes back to his senses Oliver manages to croak out, “Y-yes.”

“Mr. Jones, I really do apologize for how I started the conversation, but you’re listed as his brother on his emergency contact information card found in his wallet –”

A flash of anxiousness hits him and he can’t bear the thought of having to listen to her talk. He needs to know now. “Yeah – I – how – ”

“He overdosed, Mr. Jones. “

Please… Why couldn’t it have been anything but that?

All Oliver can do is bow his head down in guilt and desperately try to hold his tears back. Ordering Roy around, lecturing and eventually shaming him for his behavior did absolutely nothing. Oliver should’ve kept Roy at his apartment, where he could keep an eye on him and prevent him from seeking out drugs that wouldn’t be readily available in Oliver’s neighborhood. If only Oliver had done more to save Roy from this fate, he would still be alive.

“But thankfully he was found in time. Your brother is a lucky man, Mr. Jones.”

Roy’s alive. He’s not dead.

He repeats the mantra over and over again until it sinks into him that Roy’s is breathing and living. Once it does, the sheer amount of joy Oliver feels is immeasurable, and choking back a sob, Oliver buries his face in his hands to succumb himself to the feeling. His phone falls and shatters on the ground, but Oliver’s only aware of his chest nearly bursting from relief.

Life has a funny way of reminding people what’s at stake. And if tonight is any indication, Oliver knows it’s time to fully appreciate the people in his life.

#ofbb 2016

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#ofbb 2016