Enough
@ofbravery
continued from here
She looked at him, her eyes meeting his. The bed they shared always felt bigger at night, in the quietness of the dark. She felt the space between them. The lantern light illuminating her side of the room fell on the pages of the book in her hands, on their bodies.
“Why do you say that?” She asked a pit in her stomach. How did he know what she’d been feeling? That he, Harry Potter, the savior of the wizarding world, was too famous for anyone like her? Ginny usually prided herself on being independent, but everyone wanted someone one. Everyone wants to be enough. Lately, she hadn’t been feeling that she was enough for him.
“I don’t. You deserve more, Harry. I want to be the one who gives you everything, but sometimes I feel like it isn’t…” she sighed, putting her book down a ways, staring at the words, unable to read them. “It doesn’t feel like it’s enough.”
“But I don’t... deserve more, that is,” Harry sighed, turning onto his back and letting out a sigh. “I’m afraid, Gin,” he whispered. “What if I’m broken? Like really un-mendable?”
He swallowed audibly and threw his forearm over his eyes. It was easier to talk when he wasn’t looking at her directly. “I don’t want you to feel like you need to give me anything. I don’t want you to pity me or feel like you need to take care of me.”
Harry knew his nightmares were getting worse, that it was likely she was getting annoyed at his more common bouts of silence and withdrawal. “I don’t want to be the one who keeps you from being happy, Ginny,” he admitted, albeit in a pained whisper. “You deserve to be loved all the time, to be admired for your strength and convictions. I’m not sure I have it in me to ... care... about .... anything.”
He’d finally said it. The dreaded admission that he was simply existing as a shadow of himself after the horrors of war and its aftermath. He was grappling with the question of what becomes of a hero when there is no longer a villain to fight.
