Search me God and know my heart We need to invite God to search our most inner thoughts, feelings and being. To be cleansed of all wickedness within us, so we will be able to find one day a pure heart beating within us. A heart oozing love, forgiveness and grace for all around us, but most of all a heart that makes us more Christlike. Many of us have learned through our lives not to open ourselves up to others, not to be vulnerable, so we may not be hurt by others. So that others can not read us so easily, like a book. We hide our most inner feelings, only show what is socially accepted. We bury our worst sins deep down in the corner of the cupboard. It is important to us to fit into society, we want people to see us the way we want them to see us and not as we really are. This is exhausting. We have to constantly remember all the lies we build up around us. It is exhausting, because it is hard work to play the role of our lives all day long, every day. It is exhausting, because we are doing things we do not want to do, but know we have to do them to fit with the picture we have drawn for ourselves. It is exhausting, because we do not get to be who we really are. Because we do not get to live the life God wanted us to live. The reason he brought us into this world, and we are constantly fighting against our own nature and with that against God. But God loves us the way we are, and the way he made us. He loves to see us to do the work he had planned for us. Loves to see us us flourish and bloom when we live our God given life the way he had architected for us so carefully. The problem is, we are so encased in living a role that is not truly us that we do not know how to stop it, to see where we go wrong, what we need to change. The beauty is, we do not have to know, God knows. We can invite God into our heart and soul and to search for all that is not Christlike. He will guide us if we let him. We can trust God, because he is for us, he is on our side, he loves us so much that it is in his deepest interest to lead us to a joyful life. True, this may not always be an easy path that we have to follow, because there is so much we have learn, before we can become more Christlike. We my have to be tested and formed in many ways, before we are ready. But it will be definitely worth it in the end. Imagine a life in which we can be ourselves. Where do not have to pretend to be somebody that we are not. Where we are not exhausted each and every night; but are still full of power and strength, because we get to be and do the things that we love. A life where we are surrounded by our loved ones, who love us just for whom we are. God can lead us in the right direction, he can show us the path. If we let him, if we invite him to do so. It is us that has to invite God into our deepest and darkest corners of our heart. Him we can trust, he will help us. Because there is no place we can hide from God anyhow. He knows all that we have done, he knows all our darkest thoughts, knows all our sins, the big ones and the small ones. We can not hide anything from God. But God is never pushing himself on us, only when we invite him, he will search our heart and guide us. There are so many sins and evil that dwells in us that we are not even aware of. Only God may see it. So we have to ask him to search our heart for it and to reveal it to us, so we can ask for forgiveness for it. This is the only way we can become more Christlike. Because the evil one does not want us to be healed, he wants to hold us in his grip, to keep us as far away as possible from God. So we have to ask God to show us what's hidden from our own understanding, to show us our weaknesses which expose us to the evil one. He will show the things that are harmful to us and our heart. As humans we are not able to follow God's understanding, we have to trust his guidance, even if it may not make sense to us at the time. Because his ways are so much greater than ours, he sees the big picture, the goal, the end result. Things our own mind is not able to comprehend. But this does not matter, we do not have to understand. We only have to trust him with all our heart, soul and mind and follow him. Because if we let evil and sin dwell in our hearts, we are in the full grip of the Antichrist. He will take over our life's and continue to draw us in deeper and deeper. It is what is in our hearts what we treasure. Usually it is our deepest shame that stops us, to open up to God. We want to hide from him. As if this would be possible! There no shame big enough in this world that could separate us from God, if we are willing to open up to him and to invite him in. Only he will be able to heal our broken heart and soul. Only through Jesus who died for our sins, our own sins can be and are forgiven. But we have to open our hearts to God, show him our willingness, show him that we mean it, to truly repent for all our sins. We have to do the first step, we have declare ourselves ready and willing to change. And if we really mean it, God will never fail us, he will never misuse our trust, he will never abandon us, he will not guide us onto the wrong path, but the path to everlasting life. He will guide us from darkness into light. Because he is our light, our saviour and our God. And he is on our side in this fight against evil. Because the night may hold sorrow, but with a new day, with a new dawn, light and joy will come back into our lives. But first we have to make room in our heart, so we can become an empty vessel into which the Holy Spirit can reside. You can not pour very well fine wine into a full vessel, filled to the rim with poison. First we invite God to search us, to test us and show us the wickedness within us, and our offensive ways and then we can repent all our sins and ask God for forgiveness. Our graceful God will forgive us, because Jesus Christ our Saviour already died for all our sins. Our sins are forgiven, when we repent truthfully and wholeheartedly. We just have to ask for it. Ask and it will be given to you. Knock and the door will open for you. It is up to us to knock and to ask, so we will be able to be led in the way everlasting. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 NIV