he is not IGNORANT to his wife’s pain -- it is his OWN, the weight of the WORLD that sits upon his shoulders exacerbated by elizabeth’s STRUGGLE. yet though she CONTINUES to weep and WITHDRAW further and further into herself, he CANNOT escape from his own DESOLATION. his shadow lingers in his place, the DEEP trenches of his soul laid BARE in his wake. he haunts pemberley as a GHOST, the day-to-day RESPONSIBILITIES an easy distraction if only he would FOCUS on them.
there is a HEAVY ache in his ribcage. something that DEMANDS attention, but he has not the STRENGTH to face it. it DISCOURAGES him more than he can STAND, how he cannot be the man he had PROMISED himself to be for his beloved. and he WRESTLES with his self-loathing and WRESTLES with himself for MANY nights before he wakes one morning with a SUDDEN determination to set things RIGHT, to gain back her love AND her trust. maybe it is SELFISH ( he misses his wife more than ANYTHING in the world ) and maybe it is a DESIRE to do his best by her, but he CANNOT be away a day longer.
when he FINDS her, she cannot hide her tears. it GUTS him. “ i wasn’t expecting to SEE you before dinner. you’ve been COMING home so late recently, ” she says when he GOES to her and he cannot help a GUILTY wince. crouches low so that they can be at EYE level and sets a HEAVY hand atop her open book in hopes of DRAWING her gaze. “ i’d imagine NOT. yet here i am. may i SPEAK with you, elizabeth ? ”
@ofprejudice continued thing !
