OKAY
SO
DO YOU SEE THIS
DO YOU SEE THIS REAL LIFE ACTUAL FABULOUS FUCKING SHIT HERE
SO WHEN I WANT MY HAIR TO BE ANY KIND OF DIFFERENT BUT I’M TOO LAZY TO PLAN OR THINK THINGS THROUGH I BASICALLY MAD SCIENTIST TOGETHER SOME RANDOM SHIT FROM THE DOZEN OR SO BOTTLES I HAVE STASHED IN MY CAVEROOM TO SEE WHAT THE RESULT IS (answer: varying degrees of opal hair.) THE MIX IS GENERALLY HALF DYE, QUARTER CONDITIONER, QUARTER DEVELOPER.
USUALLY I’M ROCKIN THAT GARNIER CONDITIONER, THE YELLOW BOTTLE WITH THE THREE DIFFERENT SUPER OILS FOR WHEN YOU WANT YOUR HAIR TO SURVIVE THE GODDAMN NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE BUT YOU WANT THAT SHIT TO LOOK VIBRANT AND LUSCIOUS LIKE YOU THE GODDAMN WARRIORQUEENKING OF UNICORNFABIOTOPIA GRAND DUCHESSDUKE OF THE HUNT BRINGER OF DESTRUCTION AND DESPAIR TO ALL WHO OPPOSE YOU.
BUT I WAS OUT OF THAT OLYMPIAN NECTAR FROM ABOVE SO I GOT THIS “ULTRA LUSTER” SHIT FROM THE DOLLAR STORE, RIGHT? IT WAS THE FIRST BOTTLE I GRABBED AND ONE GENERIC CONDITIONER WORKS AS GOOD AS ANY OTHER FOR MY PURPOSES SO IT WAS ALL GOOD.
MIXED UP MY HAIR POTION. PUT THAT SHIT IN MY MOHAWK. GO TO WASH EVERYTHING OUT BECAUSE I MADE A MILD MESS AND IF HANNAH FUCKIN HART TAUGHT ME ANYTHING IT WAS EITHER “CLEAN AS YOU GO” OR “YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE ANY KITCHEN TOOL WITH YOUR TEETH” I FORGET WHICH
ANYWAY
THIS.
THIS GLORIOUS SHIT
I’M RINSING EVERYTHING OUT AND SUDDENLY EVERYTHING *S*P*A*R*K*L*E*S*
EVERYTHING SHINES BRIGHT LIKE A GODDAMN DIAMOND. BOWL. BRUSH. GLOVES. MY FUCKING HEART.
I DUNNO WHAT KIND OF UNICORNS THEY MILKED FOR THIS CONDITIONER BUT MY HAIR SUPPLIES ARE SILVER AND DISCOTASTIC AND IT IS NOT WASHING OFF.
FUCK
THIS IS AWESOME
TL;DR I have never been so emotionally torn about throwing away used latex gloves.
