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Sorry, a degree in WHAT!?
Crimson 4/14/2015
- On Day 2 of the massive climate protests, more alumni have shown up to assist the protest and give speeches, and the protests have actually expanded in response to these changes. And yes, President Faust is still blocked from her office. Now would be the PERFECT time for the Harvard Law School professors to pounce on President Faust and make her life even more miserable.
- President Faust, for her part, is attempting the ‘ignore the problem and it will go away’ approach, also known as the ‘EA SimCity strategy’. We’ll see if that works in this case, eh?
- The Harvard Med School dean is moving away to be the President of U. Miami. So, uh, say hi, B3ing! This dean is best known for selling the name of the Med School to a billionaire in return for a huge cash gift to the school.
- Progress continues on opening the super gay-friendly youth homeless shelter. Considering the place has 20 beds, just imagine the size of the nightly orgies! :D
- Some Harvard kids got money to do things.
- Harvard: totally supportive of Native Americans. Apparently. We’re holding a talky conference thing on them, after all.
Crimson 4/13/2015
- Harvard climate protests are going to spend all week being extremely annoying for administrators. The groundwork for this kind of protest was already practiced during the Occupy Harvard movement, and one of the leaders of the protest participated in teach-ins during Occupy Boston. However, this climate movement is much more aggressive than Occupy: they have blockaded the admin buildings, preventing the Dean from entering.
If the Occupy movement taught anything, it’s that being loud and right doesn’t achieve anything. Being loud and annoying, however, might just work.
- President Faust’s big problem isn't resisting the protesters -- her hands are tied on that and I think she’s right that dropping Harvard’s investment in fossil fuels solves nothing.
Her problem is politics. She’s basically Queen Cersei from Game of Thrones: so overtly worried about losing power that she’s trying to pull all of Harvard/King’s Landing under her control while rapidly making enemies, both from overconfidence in her own abilities to rule without counsel (alienating the people who want their voices heard) and in disrespect for the people below her (thinking she can easily control and/or dismiss their concerns). Faust is fighting a losing game.
- Clever readers will appreciate that next to the Harvard climate change protest coverage, the Crimson has headlined the success of local workers for Hilton Hotels in forming a union! Nothing inspires fellow protest movements like the success of fellow activists.
- A local research center is under investigation for POSSIBLE MONKEY GENOCIDE.
Huh. I wonder why all the monkeys they’re researching are dying...?
- The Student Council has decided NOT to (publicly) support the climate protesters. Thank god. The Council is already weak, and supporting the protesters would amount to an act of war on the Harvard admin. And let’s be honest: the climate protesters are NOT a strong enough ally (yet) to make up for the loss of Harvard administrative support.
- The Harvard Education School has raised a fuckton of money. The real surprise would be if any Harvard body DIDN’T raise fucktons of cash.
Crimson 4/10/15
10 days until YOU KNOW WHAT
- Sexual Harassment: Harvard wants students to participate in their rape/sexual harassment survey to see just how widespread the issues are. No sass here since it’d be cool if people participate.
- Social Climate?: Some Honors club has selected some smart people be in their elite group. So, uh, cool, I guess.
- Changes under Faust: Because fuck Faust. Harvard in 2010 was gonna implement a database so we could all see how the Ad Board makes decisions about punishment. Now that project has been pushed back and finally canceled by the new people in charge of the department. Because screw transparency, amirite?
- Housing: As Harvard students are distributed to Gryffindor/Hufflepuff/Racism/Ravenclaw, some of them throw fate to the wind and sign up for random lottery placement in rooms.
So, uh, interesting. Wow. Riveting.
- Fuck tags: Kids are starting to prep for senior research projects, which, okay, great. That’s DEFINITELY news. I sure love the Crimson for its continual stellar reporting!
Crimson 3/31/15
- Harvard President Faust (lol dat name #dealwiththedevil) has responded to criticism of her leadership with ‘haha nope’. No, seriously, her response is literally just ‘oh, overcentralization? nah, doesn’t exist. oh a faculty senate? that’s a silly idea. oh, the bad decisions I’ve made? totally talked to the other deans about them first.’
- Harvard Crimson: DKE does NOT exist as a frat yet. Any news about them approving a central council is bullshit. Also, shouldn’t these all-male organizations gathering be fucking terrifying for the rest of the school, especially for women and minorities?
Harvard already HAS very classy (pfft haha but seriously classier than a frat) all-male finals clubs with strict entry standards. The entry standards for frats tend to be hazing and sexism.
Note the growth of frats has all been VERY recent and under President Faust.
- Some students are gonna create an online blog about some topic.
- The Harvard Kennedy School is gonna give extra money to students for social projects and stuff. Huh. Cool, but doesn’t the Harvard Innovation Lab already do that...?
- The Smith Center, a sorta weird shopping mall thing, is gonna get renovated. So... yeah. That’s cool I guess?
Crimson 3/24/15
Let’s get right to the news.
- Remember those kids protesting Harvard’s investment in fossil fuels? They attempted to challenge Harvard in court. Predictably, the judge said students have absolutely no fucking standing to challenge their school’s management decisions legally. Legal Basics 101 FTW!
- Some local neighborhoods around Boston are whining at all the construction work being done by Harvard. On the bright side, Harvard’s been forced to pay for construction worker parking, instead of being cheapasses and forcing the workers themselves to pay to park... on Harvard property. Yeesh, Harvard, you seem to shit on your workers a whole bunch...
- Harvard’s Student Council Presidents have either innovated new ways to engage the community or new ways to be strikingly lazy. They’re offering $3000 to the best student-submitted plan to improve Harvard. This would be neato, except, isn’t Student Council supposed to be coming up with plans like this on their own in the first place?
- Harvard Law professors have been unusually bold at sniping at each other over new potential environmental laws. Only news in that professors of any kind are usually rather cowardly and don’t talk to each other at all, or only debate very boring, tiny topics, rather than active legislation.
- EdX, the Harvard-MIT open course lovechild, is gonna offer some new courses designed by Microsoft and the Smithsonian. Super cool tech news.
Crimson 3/10/15
Boy oh boy! The day's sunny and I have no essays due! :D
- Clubs are increasingly more important than the House system here at Harvard. Uh, in nerd terms, this is book five of Harry Potter and Dumbledore's Army is more important than Gryffindor/Hufflepuffin'it420/Slytherin/Roflcopter.
- Cambridge is gonna try to be adorably yuppie and Californian by relying only on renewable energy resources! Aww!
- Kids who grew up speaking Arabic are put in the same Arabic language classes as brand new speakers, which is kind of hilariously awful. Apparently this choice is completely intentional at Harvard, which makes this even more darkly funny, especially considering Asian languages like Chinese and Korean DO have separate accelerated tracks for native speakers. Damn, wish there was an English language specialization. :P
- The Student Council presidents wanna give money to students for public service internships, so like, unpaid internships involving working for cities or schools. This is kinda cool since poor kids (read: ME!) can't really afford to do public service work over the summer unless they do it in their hometowns.
- The QUEER HQ at Harvard wants to set up loner gays like me with peer supports. The system is called QuNNECT. Uh, I'm onto your game, PAR VOLLEN. You can't trick me with your QUEER OPENNESS. I will never accept the Qun! Praise Andraste!
Crimson 3/9/15
No time for bullshit today.
- Harvard's Student Council decided not to make a statement against the sexist all-male clubs at Harvard. Showing their true colors as simpering bureaucrats in the making, unable to unite on even the simplest issue.
- Harvard undergraduate dean did flat-out call the all-male clubs sexist while simultaneously doing exactly jackshit, meaning he's simply a noisy bureaucrat unwilling to take action. He talks a lot and does nothing.
- An ISIS representative may or may not be hanging around the Kennedy School looking for donations. Weird.
- Harvard's main dean took the weekend to pretend she cares about minority rights while she continues to have our black student groups operate out of a basement. Hilarious! A very white Harvard Dean deluding herself.
- Public school kids like me have no training to deal with the highly intense academic life at Harvard. This isn't really news, but a cute human interest story, I guess.
- SPORTS. Harvard is gonna fight Yale for a spot in March Madness, my favorite sports competition to bet money on.
