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I’ve suffered a bit of a dark time in my life at the moment and honestly I wouldn’t be here without the boys.
- Liam at aotv premiere
His confusion over tenses says it all really.
Anon 2: Sadly I don't think Liam's dark time is in the past.
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You're both almost certainly right anons. I think it was lovely he was there though - human connection is pretty important both to healing and building a good life.
So Nathan and Nora did a live session in response to the week long dunking on Liam - and you can listen to it here.
I really enjoyed it so I'm going to write my thoughts, as I've taken to do about the podcasts I find most interesting about 1D members.
It has been weird for me, who listened to the whole of Liam's interview and mostly found it boring, to see the endless backlash of dunking against him. It didn't seem like a big deal. I could barely care, and I actually watched the whole thing. The inter-band conflict was wildly blown out of proportion for what he actually said, and the 'boasting' was all things that were true at one point, but hadn't remained true.
That they were doing an emergency live chat suggested that Nathan and Nora saw things differently from me. But in general Nathan was quite chill and had a sense of proportion about what was said - he also made what I think is a key point, which is that Liam knows Zayn better than we do. I also think he did a good job of naming the actual dynamic going on for a lot of people, which is, 'dunking is fun' - and doesn't actually have any content to it beyond that.
Nora was the one catastrophising, but what I thought was fascinating was that she saw that interview as the opposite of responsible Liam, rather than an example of exactly the same dynamics that had created responsible Liam. That actually 16 year olds who seem responsible are in fact trying to please, and it's no surprise that anyone who was that eager to please those in power when they're 18, will then try and please douche bag podcast hosts a decade later.
There was some discussion of the damage of being a child star, and what you expect from 1D members. At one point Nora says 'it would be amazing if 3.5 members of 1D were OK', and I was trying to figure out which 3.5 she would be imagining are OK.
I thought their discussion of Harry's vulnerability was sort of really interesting, but the way they were having the conversation was super distressing to me. The inability of either of them to name consent as the key issue when it came to sex, and instead run together, having lots of sex, cheating of people, and sexual violence as the same sort of messy ground. There are far too many reminders that any gains we've made around the politics of sex are really fucking fragile at the moment.
On a less depressing, and more 1D note, I found it interesting that Nathan really does believe that Harry has slept with lots of women. (I also thought their discussion of the subtext of sushi restaurant was even funnier in the context of the sushi discourse within 1D).
They talked about other things as well: Taylor (with interesting thoughts about the dynamics of the re-release and some funny discussion of Joe's career) and Game of Thrones (although not a lot of substance there).
And then at the end Nathan came in with his 'I used to be CEO of Ticketmaster and think capitalism is good actually' hat. He was obviously letting ticketmaster way off the hook for the current awfulness of the ticket buying experience. He said that you don't want to turn it into Elizabethan theatre, with the rich people up the front and the plebs up the back. Which suggests he understands neither Elizabethan theatre, or the current price of seats at the back of Harry Styles shows.
Anyway - I found the discourse interesting - I'm really into them talking more about 1D, even - or especially - when I disagree with them.
As an alcoholic, I really appreciate your boundaries with respect to Liam. I’ve seen too many posts analyzing his posts and actions lately as being evidence of him being drunk, and I wish people realized that people can be messy and make cringy posts just as much when they are getting sober or have been sober as when they are actively engaging in addictive behaviors. Dealing with addiction and navigating sobriety are both messy processes and having people second guess all your actions while dealing with this is just really stressful. It’s so important for the people who know ur struggling to acknowledge that struggle without judging ur every word or action as a reflection on where ur current sobriety day count stands, bc that type of surveillance just makes u feel like people r just waiting for u to fail and doesn’t allow u to deal with all the messy emotions that getting sober brings up.
Thanks anon - it means a lot to me to hear that people who are alcoholics find the boundaries I'm trying to find useful.
I've not got that much experience with addiction, but one common thread with addicts I know (in recovery or not) is a huge well of shame about their addiction (and other parts of their life). And that shame is a huge barrier for recovery.
My instinct was that having people comment on when Liam was drinking and if he was drinking could only hurt him and also alcoholics reading it. You articulate it so much better than me, and I will be even more careful from now on.
Much love to you in your recovery - you're doing amazing.
hey regarding ur limas anxiety tag on that old vid, to me it doesnt seem like he's anxious at all but thats coming from some1 whose friends say im anxious as hell (i mean i am but sometimes they'll say that when im honestly just chillin albeit a bit awkwardly) BUT i've noticed a lot of similarities bw me and liam when it comes to adhd tendencies. his thoughts run a mile a min and he often says some pretty random but not so random shit. do you think it's possible that he might have adhd?
I think Liam could absolutely have ADHD. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that any 1D member had ADHD. The way you recognise yourself in Liam is really interesting. I've had an autistic anon come and talk about how they saw themselves in Liam - and I can see that as well.
But I do also think Liam is anxious - it's not an either or. I felt like in several of those snippets he didn't seem relaxed into what was going on.
Surely the whole point is we don't and we can't.
Hey Ralph! I was rewatching some old 1D videos, and remembering Liam casually saying he used to be on antidepressants and so was afraid of forgetting lyrics really struck me. Just the fact of there is so much we didn't know (and still don't) is revealed to me again and again with Liams interviews. Did you have anything surprising like that Liam causally said in an interview?
A lot of what Liam clarifies things for me and reminds me of how much we don’t know. That interview, for example, reminded me that he’d had lyric sheets for his live lounge for Familiar, and that I thought it got in the way of the performance and I hadn’t realised what had actually gone on.
Wow that Liam interview actually got edited. Originally it has references to his drinking and to his weight. I wonder why they removed it??? This was the original quote. purepaynesource*tumblr*com/post/647820153164333057/ill-be-honest-at-the-start-of-this-drinking
I saw that (it had been edited out by the time I read the interview, but I saw the quote). I mean I’m sort of glad they edited it out. Lima shouldn’t have to bleed all over the page to journalists so sponsors get their money’s worth, but it does make it even more unsettling.
I worry about Liam because every time he says he’s fine he later says oh actually I was not fine
That is exactly what I find most anxiety inducing about Liam. It’s the fact that he’s able to package up these neat stories about his mental health, which make them palatable and have a sense of resolution. But then it becomes clear that the clear resolution was just a story for the interviewer.
What I think is most scary is that I absolutely think he does believe what he’s saying when he’s saying it - but that just suggests a level of disconnection - that he doesn’t actually know how he feels and can tell any story in the moment.
