#oh ow.

[mtchstck-archive]

WHAT  SHAPE  DOES  YOUR  PAIN  TAKE?

⤷  MASK.

You hide your pain behind a mask. Maybe you feel you can't be helped, maybe you think no one cares, maybe you don't want to hurt anyone else with it, you're afraid of being judged, or maybe there's another reason. But whatever the reason, you fake a smile and try to function normally even though you're one step away from falling apart. Secretly, you wish someone would notice it's a mask, ask you if you're really okay, see right through and make it be okay somehow. You're hurt and a little angry that no one's noticed yet, but you'll never admit it. White lies, not that bad... Are they?

tagged by:  i stole it from @incorrigiblyhuman​ like the gremlin i am tagging:  u, my dude

[anxside]

hey what’s wrong with me is virgil to d//eceit when he’s still a dark side

[arrowsandradiation]

How did you feel when you first got out of Loki's control and saw all the damage you had done?

Red, blue, black, and red again, red, always the red that was stopping him from doing what Loki had wanted him to.

Red.

Red stopped him, red made him come back to reality, red made him believe that there was a thing like 'love' again.

Red knocked him right out.

The next time he saw it, the time he realized that the blue was fading, was the time when he felt that he'd been strapped to a chair, held back by restraints around his wrists, a pounding headache in him.

The memories came back flashring right through his head, like someone hitting him hard with a baseball bat.

Red. Red as the blood of the people he'd killed. Red as the people who died for him and under his commands.

Guilt washed over him, guilt and anger and incredible pain.

From that day one, the unspoken question was in his mind.

"Why didn't they kill me?"

"Uh.. Bad. To see what happened. To see what I did. To know what I was supposed to do. Close to."