#oh yeah.

[starspiiis]

suzie if she was mizi in zobmie stage

[idleindex]

ok

[godvalleys]

best friend.

[saturnsfae]

biasing nicho is the most insane shit, cus one minute ur laughing at him constantly emoting that one move, crying in the next min cus of how cute he is with a baby, then sobbing and grabbing ur hair seconds later cus of his new LOOK and how GOOD he LOOKS im gonna evaporate 🤗🤗🤗🤗 fae can’t handle this anymore 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗(yes i can, i love being dramatic) 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[states-system]

...Hi.

[skeletal-spire-man]

I didn't get to have a childhood.

I didn't get to have a fucking childhood because of this.

And you have the gall to say that you're to stressed having to deal with me?

I didn't get to have a fucking childhood. I had to learn how to do damage control for my parents at a fucking young age.

As soon as I hit ten years old, I no longer go patience. Just pain. And I don't get to remember before that. Because why should I.

Used to be seen as "bossy." Now I know I was just desperate for some semblance of control.

Now I get told to "Go with the flow." And I can't. I literally cannot. I break down and freeze. I start crying on the spot.

I need some semblance of control. Because that was the way I kept our family together. Because when I didn't have control I lost everything. Because when I didn't I got hurt. Because when I didn't I didn't get to live. I lost everything at multiple points in my life. Everything.

...

I remember... one day when I was twelve, something happened, and you refused us being able it go somewhere.

I collapsed outside. I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't. That was one of the worst panic attacks I've had. I genuinely thought I was going to die.

And you told me to grow up and stop overreacting.

...

I never did forget all those times I had to lie on the floor, unable to breathe. Begging. Begging for anything. Begging for help.

And I remember the shift from begging for you to get home. From missing you so much. From fearing you died. To...

To being alone. To lying on the floor, the kitchen floor to the front garden, wishing you would give me a second chance. To let me fix it.

I remember that. I remember the time I was having a panic attack home alone, I called you five times... only five... and when you finally called me back, after I had fully convinced myself you were dead. You shouted at me. Said I'm to old for this shit.

I felt like an idiot. A complete useless piece of shit.

And now I'm having panic attacks standing in line. I can feel my legs about to give out from under me still. And I get shouted at best, and completely ignored bar you rolling your eyes at... I was going to say worst but... at all the time.

And you still say I can tell you anything, and that you care about me so much.

But you still treat me like this. You don't see it do you? The pain that's all been caused by you?

You don't see anything as anything other than "My autism." You don't see the anxiety making it impossible to live. You don't.

I remember being called bossy. I remember that.

And know I know. It's because maybe, playing pretend was the only time I didn't feel like I was helpless.

[fragmentedmirrors]

I HATE CODING… but I love it so much 💔

Some images on my game maker one vs my Renpy sprite one

Literally look at them ♥️

The more duller color is the one I coded in Game maker.

The brighter happier one is the one I am CURRENTLY coding on Renpy.

Comparing them, Renpy’s dialogue system is easier, Game maker’s isn’t, BUT you can make ALOT of stuff on game maker ♥️

I had to draw the text box as the code would work on Gamemaker. I feel like I need to post my wips (actually downloadable) to play a bit so I can keep tabs—