Hey I just saw your posts about leaving and possibly deleting? I'm really sorry you're going through hard times. I hope that you're able to take care of yourself. I think you're doing the right thing by stepping away from something that doesn't give you joy or contentment. I saw you say that you're probably deleting because your blog isn't popular or recognized by carats. As a tumblr old, please don't go by numbers on here. Tumblr's been a destination for people who don't understand how fandom and supporting each other works for a long time. We try to teach them how to engage, but that being said please don't think that your effort isn't valued. I and your other readers would be really grateful if you left your blog up. But also, you worked really hard for a long time to make this space beautiful. You went to a lot of effort to make something you would be proud of. Don't throw it away, if for no one else than your own self who may see it with new eyes one day.
Anyway I hope you're able to heal. I hope life treats you kindly. Take care 🌹
Hi anon, sorry it took so long to get back to you. I wanted to keep this ask in my inbox just for me, to look back on it and ponder for as long as I needed to on my decision for this blog.
I'm someone who's been on tumblr since 2014, I know what fandom is like and I'm aware of the lack of engagement for fan content creators on this platform. But in all honesty, the lack of engagement is not why I felt discouraged to continue my writing.
As I said before, I haven't been in a mentally well state of mind since May of this year, and I feel as if I'm at a point where I'm not emotionally strong enough to write what I used to. I believed that isolation could help me overcome my struggles but it only ever highlighted just how fragile I've become.
Looking back on my writing I believe that my skill in conveying emotion have stagnated to the point of repetition, I haven't been satisfied with the progression of my last few wips that I honestly started to feel the effects of skill decay from my fragile emotional state.
This blog has been associated with the strongest emotions I ever had in my adult life and well as foundational memories that will forever shape what my life will look like moving forward.
At some point in the last few weeks, I even considered coming back to writing and finishing what I had started, so forgive my boldness, but I'd like to ask my readers for their support and patience as I try to navigate my new emotions and mindset.
I appreciated everyone who enjoyed my work, whether they expressed their enjoyment or otherwise. I'd love to return to what I loved doing, if you all will still have me.
Please expect some words from me before the end of the year.
