Oct 26, 2015
Peasants make the most delightful sounds when they’re flung off the cloud kingdom as the thing goes crashing to the ground.
Not that’s happened.
Yet.
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from Slovenia
seen from China
seen from Czechia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Paraguay
Peasants make the most delightful sounds when they’re flung off the cloud kingdom as the thing goes crashing to the ground.
Not that’s happened.
Yet.
A Channel Update from Rob, as well as what’s happening on Lords/DvZ.
TL:DR Things are changing.
While I was asleep, I had a lovely dream about using the peasants as slave labor. Then I woke up, and realized we already do!
I also raised the tax rates to 98 percent.
Some people have been curious if the dragon we killed had left any eggs behind.
The answer is yes, but we fried them up for breakfast the next morning, we were all starving from the fight.
Wait, so I'm getting mixed signals here. Are you and Deadbones brothers or... something else? Or is there some Game of Thrones shit going on?
In some timelines we’re brothers, in some we’re not. In most, I just like fucking with Deadbones. It’s the best hobby there is!
Greetings Jimmys! Jimmies? No, that's a candy. Peasants would work.
Greetings Peasants!
Grovel before me! Wait no, that's not what I meant to tell you.
What was it again...
Uh...
Right! You should totally talk to me!
((otherwise known as rp))
why do you never wear a shirt, like, ever?
Are you saying you don’t want to see my glorious chest, Jimmy?
*narrows eyes*
Get over here and stop hiding behind those glasses so I can death stare you!
old man willy, please teach us how to grow and care for a beard as wonderful as yours.
First, no one can ever have quite as glorious of a beard as I do. However, I can teach you how to have one that is almost as good, and will get you all the women. (or men, but then their beards might try to compete with your beard…unless your a female dwarf…but I’ve seen some female dwarves, they can have beards also…)
Wait. Right, beard care! First thing when you wake up is to eat a hearty dwarven breakfast. Preferably cooked by someone else. After eating this breakfast, you do beard pushups.
I obviously don’t have to teach you how to do beard pushups, now do I Jimmy? You should have been taught how to do that when you learned how to walk.
Now do MORE OF THEM. This will increase your beards tensa…tensen…tensile? strength. Whatever.
Next, comb it with a hard wire brush. This teaches the beard that YOU are its boss. Not it of you. This is important, otherwise it’ll take over your brain.
They do that sometimes.
Once it’s sufficiently cowed, you can braid it to keep it in line, or put heavy metal dangly things on it. The metal dangly things also force the beard to work out during the day.
When showering, use conditioner. But not too much, otherwise it’ll get too soft and be like a woman’s beard. And you don’t want that. Unless you’re a woman, then, I don’t know, use conditioner every day or something. And roses extract, I hear that helps the ladies make their beards smell nice.
And if that fails, cut it off and go live in the trees BECAUSE YOU HAVE FAILED AS A DWARF.