#online dynamics

[gougarfem]

hi, I read your post regarding awful friendships and I was wondering if it was hyperbole? I don't understand, do these ppl speak as if they are online irl? And like in the middle of conversation ask you to not trauma dump or smth?? I was so shocked this had many notes, do you think it's a common behavior in super young online groups of ppl? I just can't believe this is real! But of course good luck on finding kinder friends!

yeah, i can't tell if this ask is well intentioned but this genuinely is the dynamic among many groups of younger people (particularly those who identify as trans or partake in the "neurodivergent community", and those who subscribe to liberal ideas in general). i think lockdown played a huge part in the issue, young teens spent their formative years in an online bubble and behave the same way irl while having a terribly poor understanding of how the real world works. constantly being bombarded with online messages about how it's okay to put your mental health first no matter what, how a friend asking for support is emotional labour, how "boundaries" are the be all and end all of a relationship and can never be crossed no matter how unreasonable, etc. has led to a whole generation forming superficial relationships defined by labels and aesthetic rather than genuine connection. as soon as you need something from one of these "friends", or make a comment not in line with their sanitised political code, they're quick to drop you, as they've only ever learnt how to form connections through shared opinions or oppression points rather than interests, quality time irl, support, etc. it makes it incredibly difficult to make friends as a young physically disabled person because these types flock to you due to claiming a shared category of oppression.

thankfully i'm in a better place now and have awesome irl friends. that post was made when i was bedbound for a year due to illness and was confined to online spaces for friendship, which is generally just a recipe for disaster lol.

thanks for your ask! <3

[online-tool-helps-sue]

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[product-offers-extensive-oi]

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[mudtirepsa]

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