Shane is meticulous with his skin care, his job is sweaty and bacterial acne is his biggest foe. Through years of careful research and testing he has the perfect skin care routine. Those 15 minutes before bed are his sacred alone time.
Ilya doesn’t mind Shane’s skin care time, it’s his 15 minutes to scroll with the sound on high.
He doesn’t mind that is until Shane randomly asks him if he can take pictures of his back. At first excited to pose Ilya wholeheartedly agrees. It’s until he is told to lay face down and Shane takes what feels like a hundred pictures that he gets suspicious.
“What are you doing” Ilya asks muffled by the comforter
“Documenting your moles to make sure nothing changes while you’re in Boston” Shane replies “You made me loose count, give me a second don’t move”
Ilya groans into the mattress, not sexy, not fun. So boring, and Ilya is so happy. Someone loves him enough to worry, his boyfriend loves him and is worried about him.
——
After the Dunkin disaster as Shane has started calling it, Ilya isn’t expecting any more care packages. Shane hasn’t been thrilled with how Ilya has managed to turn all his gifts into something…else. So he was pleased to receive a big box in the mail marked fragile.
Ilya took the box into the kitchen to unbox, he looked inside and started pulling out all sorts of bottles with little labels in Shane’s messy scrawl step 1, step 2 and so on. There was also a laminated page on how and when to use each product.
Ilya reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, taking a picture of the contents and sending it to Shane.
Ilya: what is this?
Shane: Skincare.
Ilya: yes I know, is for you? To keep here?
Shane: No. It’s for you.
Shane: To take care of your skin.
Shane: Send me a picture of your back.
Ilya: no.
Ilya: you just want it for moles
Ilya: pervert
Shane
Incoming face time call
—-
Ilya decides to record himself using them because he knows Shane likes his little videos.
He knows Shane likes them because he keeps asking for more. Send me video with shower shoes on, send video eating salad, send video saying goodnight…
Video:
(Phone is set on a bathroom counter, Ilya leans in close, folding his arms on the counter)
“Okey we are trying skincare for first time”
(Exists frame)
“Where is box” can be heard from a distance.
(Comes back into frame)
“Okey I have box let us being, first up is….”
He looks like he is reading from something.
“Start with the Celimax jojoba-oil cleanser with the Beauty by Earth gua sha” he looks around with a confused look “What?!” Starts rummaging through the box when he goes back to the paper.
“Bottle is marked #1 use with green tool” he whisper reads “Ah okey I found it!”
Holds up the gua sha to the camera and the bottle marked #1.
“Now how do you use gua sha” he holds up one finger.
“Please hold” he comes back carrying a laptop “Okey I watched tutorial”
—-
“So that took forever” he gives an exasperated look to the camera.
“Step 2 says to use Skin1004 Poremizing deep-cleansing foam to double cleanse. Use in the shower” he reads from the laminated sheet.
(He leaves the frame)
“I’m not showing shower, pervert”he yells.
(He comes back into frame)
“You have to pay for that, only fans when?” He winks at the camera.
——
(He comes back into frame)
Wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair slicked back, skin looking noticeably brighter. He is holding the sheet “Step three says After shower, use the Num-buz-in No. 3 toner. Do not apply with hands use cotton rounds” he reads rolls his eyes “ I wasn’t going to use hands” he blows a raspberry to the camera.
“Notice how all skin care have names that are impossible to read and make no sense to what they are?” He says as he applies the toner to the cotton round and starts applying to his face “It is conspiracy to sell very expensive smelly water” he finishes applying “That don’t do anything to skin” he gives a disparaging look to the camera.
He holds up a bottle marked four “I read ahead this is moisturizer with crazy name, Alexa what is Centella am-pou-le?!” An Alexa answers in the background “ I’m sorry I didn’t quite get that” he rolls his eyes at camera “Ugh, useless”he says as he applies the moisturizer.
(leaning in close to the camera, his whole face in frame)
“We are almost done, you have made it this far. You are still watching and for what? Is it interesting or exciting to watch me rub liquids and goops on my face?” He pull back from the frame and winks “of course it is pervert”
Ilya holds up the last bottle showing it to the camera “Sunscreen! This is Skin1004 SPF 50, because some people believe the sun is out to kill me via mole attack” he applies the sunscreen to his face “moles are angel kisses, I am kissed all over” he slaps his cheeks.
(phone is lifted of the counter and brought up to eye level)
“Okey that is all, night time routine is two steps and not important”
(the camera moves all over his face showing different angles)
“Skin does look extra glowy, do not send lotion in a basket please I do not want to be skinned”
(the video ends)
—-
Much to Ilyas frustration his video was 20 minutes long and would not send in a text or in an email.
Which is why he was now making a YouTube account to upload the video. After what felt like hours ilya_rozanov81 had uploaded their first video caption “Get Ready With Me Skin Care”. His video was just for Shane but it was normal enough he felt that he could post it without it giving anything away. He had never said Shane’s name and he had seen other people do these sort of videos so felt ok posting it.
He sent the link to Shane and went about his day, there was an optional practice that afternoon that he had considered skipping but was in the mood to let off some energy.
——
Shane: I saw your video.
Shane: cute 🥰
Shane: take it down now.
Shane: hello??
Shane: Ilya! Seriously take it down now people are starting to comment.
Shane: Ilya!!
Shane: It’s breached containment….
Shane: whatever call me when you get out of practice I guess 😤
Ilya
Incoming Call
——
Puckygolucky: only fans when????? Yes please! Drop the link!!
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Bostonraiderette: this is unhinged in the best way!
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StuckyPucky: What’s wrong with you genuinely asking.
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Ilyaswife: Not me grinning for 20 minutes straight
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Marleauskates:Add everything to cart
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Cerave:I love him so much “I do not want to be skinned” cancels PR box filled with lotion.
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BostonRaidersNHL:Great way to start the video, I am sat for *looks at notes* 20 minutes.
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DunkinDonuts:Hey beautiful angel can I kiss you all over👉👈
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IlyasMole:Who was this for?? Is he calling us perverts?
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Rozanovsleftbuttcheek:I’ll be his pervert all he wants 😈😈😈
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Moonbeams_delight: Do you enjoy seeing me rub liquids over my face!!! Does this man want me dead??!??😵
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Makeupbyalisa:Was this PR?? All the brands are different and you can’t even buy them in the same store.
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Puckygolucky: How do you know you can’t buy them in the same store?
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Makeupbyalisa: Uhhh cause I check obviously.
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Cosmopolitan: Drop the towel.. wait who said that?
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numbuzin_global: So honored you know us
Sending you the entire No.3 line... okay, actually EVERYTHING 💜💜
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Skinn1004offixial: It's so exciting to see SKIN1004 in Ilya's routine! The Centella Ampoule soothes and hydrates the skin. We've sent you EVERYTHING, so let us know when you spot more in there
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Svetlana_V: Get off my internet
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Hollanov4life: he’s reading from a laminated sheet. A lot of these are Asian skin care brands… I’m starting a rumor.
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Bostonraiderette: Girl no..go back to tumblr with that.
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Can see all four chapters on AO3 link in the comments!
