@kettrdamned said: ❝ i want to kill every person responsible for leaving you scarred. ❞
He opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again and yet no sound seems to want to come out.
Cas hadn't even been intending to say anything to Kaz about the scars that he wears, casualties of being raised to be a soldier, even though Fabrikators traditionally weren't put on the front lines. Things still happened, a lot of things happened, and that left them with permanent marks to remember them by. Most of them were hidden by their clothes — such as claw marks on Cas' back from one of their trips across The Fold — but there are some that aren't. Some still get looks whenever they go somewhere or meet someone new, like the one upon their neck from that one time they had been captured by witch-hunters and their throat had been cut. Only the timely intervention of a healer had saved him then, leaving the shiny, pinkish scar that spans across his skin now.
He had thought he'd left all that blood and terror in the past, but the memory, brought to the surface but Kaz's eyes upon him, his words, it has a hand flying to his throat out of reflex. A shudder shaking their frame as they stare at their brother, their eyes wide and briefly lost in the ghosts of the past.
"I— I don't know what to say." He croaks, fixating upon Kaz's shoulder rather than looking at him directly. There was a fire within his brother's eyes, a vicious intensity and rage that he hadn't seen before. It was as startling as it was comforting, as strange as that may be to say. It made him feel protected and he clung to that tightly, almost desperately so.
A beat of silence and Cas' hand shifts, sliding from the line at their neck to hang loosely by their side. Their eyes move too, to focus on a wall beside them. "....That one was from a run-in with a group of Drüskelle. They'd caught me in one of the northern towns, I'd been foolish and ran away from the Little Palace trying to find a way back to Kerch." Back to you "And in the ensuing struggle they—" He mimes a cutting motion across his neck. "I don't really remember too much of what happened after. Just that there was a lot of blood and...."
Another shudder rips through him and he risks a glance back over to Kaz, just trying to gauge how he might be reacting to all this. "The next clear thing I remember is being on a wagon heading back to Os Atla. I guess the grisha that had been sent out to look for me found me before I could bleed out." He attempts to shrug. "But ever since I've had this scar, the healer hadn't been able to make it go away completely due to the severity of the damage. It doesn't bother me though."