Aug 22, 2018
If you got somebody on a pedestal and they make you feel like crap, kick that bitch off.
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If you got somebody on a pedestal and they make you feel like crap, kick that bitch off.
When the action of suicide only becomes known as an attempt, you lose a lot more than your life. You lose yourself. You lose your friends. You lose your love. You lose a piece of yourself every time you do it. And I don’t have many pieces left.
There is something about the feeling of losing your individuality in a serious relationship that bothers me severely. Like to develop the courage to be yourself is already a struggle but when with a person you transform into, or you’re “supposed” to, a unit. Which is completely fine, it’s good to feel as though you are one with another person. On the other hand you aren’t one, you’re two completely separate individuals with different thoughts, feelings and performances. I don’t want to feel as though I have to conform to a standard that you now deem acceptable. Like if you knew how I was before and admired that, why must it change? Why must I be rewritten to hold my place in your life?
Relationship
When did two people fucking turn into them being together? What happened to two people developing feelings for each other and then there being a mutual agreement to proceed with those feelings? How is me allowing an emptiness to be filled translate to you are worth something to me? If having sex is now the equivalent to feelings what’s the point of relationships?
"No one is going to capture the beauty you bring into the world like the person who thinks the world of you"
I don't need you, I never needed you. But I liked you so I wanted you.
Want you?
You can’t want something that you can’t give. You can’t be loyal, don’t expect it. You cant give unconditional love, don’t expect it. You can’t trust, but you want it. Pretty backwards.
Tired
I'm tired of not getting what I want from you. I'm tired of you crossing my mind all day. I'm tired of your name escaping my lips. I'm tired of not knowing how you feel. I'm tired of your attitude. I'm tired of your silence. I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of wanting you to talk to me. I'm tired of wanting you close. I'm tired of craving your kiss. I'm tired of wanting your hugs. I'm tired of being cold because you can't keep me warm. I'm tired of not being able to sleep because the thought of you keeps me up. I'm tired of imagining you. I'm tired of drawing you. I'm tired of listening to your music. I'm tired of dreaming about you. I'm tired of writing about you. And before I'd rather be tired than to sleep on you. But now I need rest. -NNN