A high school etymology teacher and bowling coach. You picked up the finger loop phone holder at a gas station; it reminds you of the league championship where you used the fingertip grip for your winning strike. The free word order of Latin enthralled you as a sixth-grader, though such fascination did you no favors getting a date to a middle-school dance. A vocabulary of nearly 40,000 words didn’t help with a prom date, either, but it got you noticed by a linguistics student in college who you married after graduation. The orthopedic sandals help your feet recover after having had more than a few house balls dropped on your toes. Myriad pants pockets hold anything from painkillers (yours) to Pokémon cards (your son’s). An oversized hoodie helps complete the look, lest anyone mistake you for the someone who still cares.