#operation forb

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

case file: 131313-f, archived

date: 07/21/18

timestamp: 18:30

status: incarnate

final interview transcript:

agent: are you fully formed?

ompodge: hey. my eyes are down here

agent: my apologies. please answer the question.

ompodge: so far as i know

agent: do you mean humanity harm? please keep in mind we will be seeking an expert opinion.

ompodge: i mean you no harm. although i am not fond of some of your more recent cinema

agent: what do you intend to to now?

ompodge: i plan to travel. theres plenty of pennies i haven't eaten seen yet. and i feel like there is somewhere i need to be...some place with a very round friend...

[remainder of interview tape is entirely composed of static]

appendix h, expert interview:

agent: what is you assessment of the threat posed by the entity known as ompodge?

hodgepodge:

they pose no threat to humans, and only a minor threat to copper supplies and subpar remakes

agent: it did kill 25 of our staff

hodgepodge:

they did no such thing. have you checked recently?

agent: well, i--

[remainder of interview is only static. crossreference survival confirmation reports 16-9-x ID numbers 3285 through 3310]

final notes: ompodge is officially classed as benevolent. it is the recommendation of this agency that they recieve supervisory intervention only.

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

case file: 131313-e

date: 07/20/18

timestamp: 20:29

status: long

notes:

ompodge sightings increasing in frequency. the entity is making contact with remote locations via the manipulation of short wave radio signals. witnesses report ompodge asking questions that have no easy answer (see appendix e for a sample of these questions). ompodge continues to increase in complexity, but its motives, beyond wishing the downfall of jj abrams, remain unknown. agents have had limited success bartering for proohecies of the future with pennies.

appendix e:

1. what sound does orange make?

2. how does one ascertain what evil is?

3. why do you drive on a parkway and park on a dirveway?

4. what is love, baby dont hurt me, dont hurt me, no more?

5. what is the true nature of florida man?

6. is that dude okay like seriously. is he okay?

7. oh hey is that a penny?

8. may i eat that penny?

9. thanks dude i didnt have breakfast. you know how it is when you haunt the place

10. hey are you writing down everything i say?

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

case file: 131313-d

date: 07/07/18

timestamp: 20:40

status: compilation report

notes:

incidents meeting criteria for consideration as ominous podge encounters are increasing in frequency. below is a summary of recent encounters thought to have been ominous podge.

1. a cluster of floating eyeballs spotted hovering beside facility 19-6-347 vending machine. disturbance appeared to be trying to purchase a chocolate bar with pennies.

2. all pennies went missing from a bank in iowa (see location specification form t6-8892958). bank staff report seeing "teeth, many eyeballs, and the faint outline of a star trek multidisc set, as seen on tv."

3. 500 copies of the jj abrams star trek reboot movie went missing from an amazon warehouse in texas (see location specification form t6-5689294). 500 pennies found in their place.

4. 500 copies of the jj abrams star trek reboot found in different amazon warehouse (see location specification form t6-3586988). 472 copies are in mint condition, while 17 copies are burned, 11 copies appear to have been shredded.

5. pennies from incident 3 were relocated to secure facility 16-9-222 for further analysis. these disappeared without any damage to containment equipment 23 minutes before the incident 4 report arrived at the agency headquarters.

conclusion: ominous podge is likely able to teleport, and has a projected sentience level of 4. approach with extreme caution as motives are unknown. operatives are advised to carry extra pennies while on duty, and avoid mention of jj abrams.

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

so i wont have the boys back to make the 'podge for @operation-forb till monday and i have urgent adulting so probably all i will get 2 do tomorrow is wash them

but

we decided this podge would have a mouth in their body big enuff to fit a mccdonalds furb

and

i got excited

and

and made a tongue to roll up and fit in the mouth

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

case file: 131313-c

date: 06/30/18

timestamp: 01:37

status: star trek

notes:

format atypical due to a failure of field equipment attributed to the unusual environment. time of report estimated due to a lack of working timepieces. reporting agent and all facility 19-6-347 staff present in a pocket dimension (subclass e4) of unknown origin. surroundings are mostly amorphous aside from the apparently ordinary armchairs with worn upolstery, and the modern flatscreen television showing only episodes of star trek, the next generation.

a being which identified itself as "ominous podge" insisted on taking all pennies available in every agent's pockets. agent micah had many more pennies than anticipated.

current assessment of all staff is that we are in no immediate danger. ominous podge has made no threatening moves. agent micah adds that first officer riker of the starfleet enterprise merits disciplinary action for unprofessional conduct.

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

case file: 131313

date: 6/26/2018

timestamp: 01:32

status: conditionally benevolent

danger level: extreme

observational notes:

the coalescence began in the midnight hour. possibility of containment breach within 48 hours if development proceeds at present rate. returns readings of subsentience but complexity advances on a logarithmic scale. corrosion levels moderate to extreme. be advised tha|

[isle-of-misfit-joys]

case file: 131313-b

date: 06/27/18

timestamp: 01:28

status: containment breach

notes:

containment of facility 19-6-347 in compound 999 found to be breached upon routine inspection [ref. appendix c, presumed mortalilty reports form 16-9-c ID numbers 3285 through 3310]. anomaly 131313, code name "ominous podge," absent from compound entirely.

other notable disturbances include 34 piles of pennies ranging from 50-108 pennies high in original containment facility for ominous podge, a complete absence of human employees, and 1/2 of a CDrom disk lodged in main control panel. security tapes show only static. CDrom disk visible label fragment reads "TNG s3e."

restoration crew 667 assigned cleanup. all staff advised to proceed with caution.