oh sure thing! im glad you told me. what about amai mask reacting to his s/o that still loves him even after knowing that hes a monster and a wanted fugitive?
**WEBCOMIC SPOILERS**
Holy balls this turned long! I have to admit, I’m not the biggest fan of Amai Mask, but I couldn’t help getting into his head when writing this. It was a surprising feels trip for me whilst imagining these bittersweet headcanons.
Please enjoy,
Stella
Word count: 795
- Amai Mask and his SO meet in person, as he intends to find closure/settle things in their relationship, however that turns out. He’s not sure himself about where things will go between them.
- He’s leaning towards breaking up with his SO. He’s so sure that they wouldn’t want to be with him anymore, but when he tells them so and that he’s ending their relationship, they reveal that they still love him, and beg him not to. His SO says they don’t care about what he looks like, if he’s a monster or fugitive, or what anybody else thinks, he’s still the same Amai Mask to them. He’s touched, but his mental state as it is now is that he can’t believe that they still love him and don’t want to break up. His conflicted mentality leads them both to have a heated argument about this. His SO pleads, begs, bargains, tries to get through to him that it doesn’t matter, they love him and they can help him through this, if only he’d believe in them.
- During this conversation, Amai Mask would feel a mixture of relief, gratitude, self-loathing, and guilt. Relief and gratitude that SO still loves him, despite the revelation of his true nature as a monster, and his drastic change in status with the Hero Association (and human society). Self-loathing at himself for putting his SO through this kind of pain. Guilt that he doesn’t deserve their love -- he’s ugly, a monster, and a fugitive. Maybe even the tiniest bit of anger that they’re making this harder than it has to be and that his SO is so stubborn that they didn’t just stop loving him when they found out his secret.
- He definitely is still struggling with his self-image, his steep drop in status pretty much overnight, and people knowing about his true physical appearance. The reveal happened quite abruptly and out of his control; he didn’t expect or prepare for it, and he hasn’t had time to emotionally process it or come to terms with it. Because of this, Amai Mask thinks that his SO can find someone better if he leaves them, someone who’s truly beautiful inside and out.
- A person’s belief system usually can’t change overnight, and deep down, Mask still places the highest value on beauty -- his hatred for ugliness was so extreme that it turned him into a monster, after all. He’s carried this with him basically his entire hero career, and even worshipped it. Why wouldn’t he? It was what brought him up to the highest highs as the most popular celebrity in the world and a powerful hero, and now he’s at his lowest low as a monster fugitive. Because of his emotional baggage, he’s projecting his insecurities onto his SO, and subconsciously still thinks that beauty is the most important thing to his SO. Part of him might not even believe them when they say they love him, because his opinion of himself is so poor right now.
- Although Saitama inspired Amai Mask to try to be better, and despite the fact that he even has Saitama’s approval, he’s still struggling with himself. He might be beautiful on the inside, but to him, the outside still matters a lot, and his outside is now a huge source of shame for him.
- It brings him comfort, so he briefly lets himself daydream about being on the run together with SO or carrying on a secret relationship, but he hates himself too much at this point to bring them down with him. He’s also worried that he’ll continue to monsterize and hurt his SO in the future, which is the thing that he fears most in the world. Everything is unstable for him right now.
- Ultimately, Amai Mask is not in a good mental spot for a healthy relationship at the moment, and he really needs to focus on accepting himself as he is, healing his own shattered self-worth, and regaining stability in his life. But he’s in too much pain to be self-aware enough to realize this, and instead it’s his overwhelming shame that leads him to reject his SO.
- Amai Mask just can’t see how his SO could still love him, because he doesn’t love himself. He thanks them, they share a last embrace and maybe a kiss if he can bear it, and he ends the relationship for what he thinks is the good of his SO. He hates to see them cry, but he feels it’s for the best. Maybe someday he’ll heal enough so they can be together again. His heart is breaking, so he can’t help but give his SO a promise he’s not sure he can keep: that when he becomes deserving of them, he’ll come find them.
