And the second of the silly stories I was planning on writing out <3 Just some Bro things....
Title: Sometimes That is How Bros Are
Rating: PG
Warnings: Really Bad Pirate Names and Roleplay, Discussing the Bro Code on Kissing Bros, Teasing the Titan, Deep Sea Diving, Tomfoolery and Being Dumb
Characters: Prattle, Tattle, and Titan Cameraman Guest Appearance: Optical mentioned a lot because gotta tease a Titan who belongs to @tabieeee
Summary: Bros doing bros things while sneaking off to the ocean for some fun and relaxation
The beach certainly wasn’t what the titan cameraman had seen in pictures. It was not a pristine white color, littered with umbrellas and coconuts for one thing. It also wasn’t as expansive or flat as he thought beaches were suppose to be.
This beach was overgrown with grass and vegetation along giant sand dunes, covered in seaweed and rocks, and had no signs of civilization for miles. It was a scenic, but wild strip of land clinging along mangroves and brackish swamps, and ripe with a strange array of smells that the titan cameraman wasn’t sure were pleasant or unpleasant yet.
“This beach is perfect!”
The titan looked down, tilting his head, “Perfect? How so Prattle?”
The shorter of the two cameramen standing at his feet wearing a navy blue suit with a stylish bowtie flashed up a thumbs up, “Wild beaches like this are more interesting than the tourist traps. You can find all sorts of cool things here,”
“Like sea slugs!” The taller cameraman next to Prattle declared, also flashing a thumbs up at the titan.
“Sea...slugs?” the titan asked slowly.
“Like land slugs but like, more brightly colored,” Prattle, the shorter of the two said, “But just as cool as land slugs, right Tattle?”
“Yep!” Tattle agreed, “And also can find clams and hermit crabs and maybe a horseshoe crab. Coconut crab. Fiddler crab-”
Prattle gave a hard elbow to his companion, “We get it. Got crabs, but think the titan wants to avoid the crabs?”
The titan nodded looking sheepish as he raised a hand to scratch lightly at the bottom of his central camera head, “The Chief Engineer was not happy about the crabs last time,” there was a long pause before his shoulders slumped, “I also do not think he is going to be happy with me for sneaking off again,”
“It isn’t sneaking off! We are having a bro day!” Prattle said, throwing his hands out wide, “We haven’t even left New Zealand! They can’t be mad at us about that!”
“And we can’t just have a small party or a karaoke night tto have a bro hangout, given uh, we aren’t suppose to even be back here. So, got to make it special and a beach like this well, “Tattle sighed, cupping his camera head wistfully, “A beach like this will create special memories,”
“Besides, Optical might be mad, but isn’t really mad mad, you know?” Prattle said, giving a small pat to the titan’s foot, “Just he gets worried about you,”
The titan gave a small nod, “I know but… I don’t want to make him mad at all,”
“It is okay to have people mad at you. We have people mad at us all the time,” Tattle said as he wandered off closer to the shore, hopping about as he took off his shoes, “Can’t please everyone,”
Prattle nodded, “Ain’t that the truth,”
“But-”
“He can’t be mad at you if you make him a gift!” Tattle interrupted as he splashed into the shallows, “Once he gets ready to give you a lecture, bam! You give him your thoughtful gift and hit him with those puppy dog lens and instant forgiven!”
The titan paused at that, “...that probably would work,”
“Trust Tattle on this. He’s the king of getting people to forget to be mad at him,” Prattle said as he gave a shove to the taller cameraman.
“That’s why we’ve been friends for this long,” Tattle said with a put upon sigh, “Since you get mad at me all the time for saying stupid things!”
“If that was enough to make me mad, I would be like Paralipsis with mad as my default setting!”
The two laughed, shoving at each other in the shallows, goofing around in a way that had the titan laughing before crouching down, giving a flick to both of them with one hand. The action only had the two laughing more, turning to start splashing at the titan, good natured as always about the light rough-housing.
“Oi! Get down here so we can get you back!” Prattle yelled.
“I got this one!” Tattle said, opening up his coat to pull out a bubble gun, “Take that!”
The little shark shaped gun hummed to life, shooting out a stream of harmless bubbles into the hand of the titan cameraman who just laughed, swatting at them, “That all you got?”
“Aha, it is not in fact!” Tattle said, a gleam in their lens, “Think fast!”
With flourish he pulled out another bubble gun shaped like a chicken, pulling the trigger to sent out another stream of bubbles. Prattle just snorted at the whole thing before flopping back into the water and giving a small kick to float out more to sea.
“As if bubbles can defeat anything, Tattle. You were suppose to bring water guns!”
“Yeah, but the bubble guns were in the shape of cute animals!” Tattle protested, “It was just aesthetically cooler than a water gun,”
“I like the bubble guns,” The titan cameraman added, “They are very cute,”
“We could turn you into a giant cute bubble gun you know. Replace the jet fuel with like, a metric ton of bubbles,” Tattle said with a snicker, “Fire them up and boom, bubbles. Bubbles everywhere,”
“I think that might make Optical really grumpy if I filled the hangars with bubbles like that,”
Tattle chuckled as he put away his bubble guns before turning to splash into the water after Prattle, “He would act mad, but deep down inside, I’m sure he would have himself a little whimsy giggle at it all. Got to have some joy in this world,”
“Besides, the bubbles means he would have to take a break until they cleaned it up so it is a perfect plan to make him take a break when he won’t listen to you,” Prattle pointed out.
The titan cameraman paused, thoughtful before giving a slow nod, “Very true,”
“So you going to stand there, lost in the thoughts of the cosmos or you getting in the water with us?” Tattle asked, “We were going to go hunt for treasure right?”
“Aye laddies!” Prattle said, doing a lazy backstroke, “We are the three infamous pirate cameras, raiding the world’s seas for the lost bounties of ages past and fighting the things of legend!”
“Yes!” Tattle said, giving two thumbs up, held high, “We have the legendary Captain Titan Kraken Breaker Jimmy Jones Cameraman,”
“And first mates One-Eyed Prattlebeard Teach and The Terrible Tornado Tattle Kidd,” The Titan said with a chuckle.
“At your service captain!” The two said, snapping a sharp salute, “Now get the boat out to sea, and by boat I mean you so we can hoist the colors!”
The titan let out a snort, crouching down to let the two scramble onto the palm of his hand before his wings flexed out, “Ordering the captain around like? Isn’t that mutiny?”
“Please get the boat out to sea captain?” Tattle said with a snicker, “Oh pretty please with all the love and thumbs up and plungers on top?”
“Please oh generous, handsome, and most dashing Captain Titan Kraken Breaker Jimmy Jones Cameraman?” Prattle added, bringing his fingers together to make a heart over his chest.
“That’s better. Look lively chaps, looks like rough waters ahead,” The titan teased back. The massive cameraman’s wings flecked out wider before with a small burst of his jets, he sent himself flying forward, dropping into the deeper waters where the bottom of the sea dropped away beyond even where he could stand. The titan didn’t sink though, moving to bob up and lounge back onto his back, letting pressurized compartments of air keep him easily afloat and relaxed. Prattle and Tattle scrambled out form the Titan’s hand to sit more on the chest, although Tattle scampered over to attach the pirate flag of a camera against a skull and crossbones to the very tip of the Titan’s head, now that it was in easier reach.
Prattle cleared his throat as he put he leaned forward on one leg, a hand over his lens as he scanned the horizon like he knew a thing about sailing,“So, from what I could gather through deep research-”
“Yes, from your search on wikipedia,” the titan interrupted with a snicker.
“My very deep research that was not just wikipedia,” Prattle retorted with a huff, “There should be a few ships that sunk out around this area over the years where we can find some booty,”
“or skeletons,” Tattle said, “Might have to fight skeletons or something,”
“Or a giant squid. Again,” the titan murmured.
Prattle shook his head, “You beat the giant squid! You asserted your dominance in the ecosystem as alpha. They wouldn’t dare to try and come at you again!”
“I’m not sure that is how it works,” The titan drawled.
“Are you suddenly the chief biologist of ecological development and nature communing?” Prattle asked, giving a small kick to the side of the Titan’s chest protection.
The titan gave a lazy hum, letting his lens go unfocused as he watched the clouds drift by, “No, but you aren’t either,”
“I have approximate knowledge of many things, therefore I could be that if I wanted to, I just don’t have the patience to get through camera college to get all the fancy titles!” Prattle retorted.
Tattle giggle from where he sat at the edge of the Titan’s shoulder, dipping his feet in the water, “Heh, maybe we just got to find like, the king squid and challenge him for dominion of the sea. Or maybe Poseidon. I’m sure the titan can take on Poseidon,”
“Given he can’t drown, has pretty good options there,” Prattle concurred, flopping back to sun himself on the Titan, “How do you think your chances are?”
“Pretty good given Poseidon doesn’t exist. Unless some skibidi has taken to calling themselves that,” the Titan said, raising a hand to lazy trace patterns the air along the clouds high above, “And I still say my odds are pretty okay,”
“So modest! If we asked this to the Titan Tvman, no doubt he would say it was no challenge and brag about how his sword is the biggest of all the titans,” Prattle said with a small tap to the Titan’s chest, “No need to be modest, oh Captain Titan Kraken Breaker Jimmy Jones Cameraman,”
The Titan gave a hum, “Optical says it is better to be modest,”
“Optical also says that the medics are lying that he needs to sleep at some point in his life and that he can break the limits of the mind and stay up for infinity to do work forever,” Prattle drawled.
“And that we are a horrible influence on you,” Tattle added, “Imagine that! Us, a bad influence on you? Lies and slander!”
The Titan couldn’t help a chuckle at that, tipping his head back more into the cool of the ocean, enjoying the water against his form, “I wouldn’t be floating out in the ocean like a battleship if it wasn’t for you two. Nor would I have gotten lost in Africa,”
“But that was a fun time and this is a fun time,” Tattle protested, “It is stress relief! Just finding your inner nature trail cam, that inner zen, becoming one with the universe and pretending we are filming for a documentary on nature,”
“Living the dream,” the titan snickered.
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t love just laying out filming lions all day,” Prattle retorted, giving another tap to the titan’s chest.
The titan laughed, moving to rest his hands behind his head as he floated along with the ocean current, “I’m not going to deny that,”
Tattle let out a hum, leaning back to look over his shoulder a the Titan with a tilt of his head,“So, are we ready to dive oh Captain? To put the lessons of the sperm whales to use to plunder the secret depths of the ocean?”
The Titan gave hum, lens dimming, “Maybe a bit longer just like this. It is a really nice day,”
Prattle gave a hum, “Is pretty nice. Even pirates need a break,”
“We should sing a sea shanty,” Tattle said as he wandered over to sit next to Prattle.
That had the bow-tie wearing cameraman pausing, “Well, I don’t actually know any, other than like, the Muppet Treasure Island Soundtrack,”
Tattle and Prattle sat there a moment in silent contemplation of what even to sing for a sea shanty and the titan merely chuckled, still drifting along enjoy the cool water at his back, the fresh breeze ahead, and the sea birds starting to wheel lazily overhead. It was peaceful in a way that so rarely things were these day.
Being a titan didn’t particularly leave time to relax or even find activities he could do at his size now.
“Could sing what do you do with a drunken sailor, but turn sailor to speakerman or something?” Tattle offered.
“Or change the lyrics of Haul Away Joe to Haul Away Skibidi,” Prattle murmured, “Or just sing Professional Pirate because we are cringe and we embrace it,”
“Or I think I am ready to dive just to escape hearing you two try and sing,” the titan teased, starting to stretch out in the water, disturbing a few seagulls that had made to perch on him, “If you are ready,”
“Born ready captain! Ready to plunder the seas and steal the treasure of mermaids and sirens!” Prattle declared, jumping to his feet with a salute.
“Ready to tangle with krakens and sea serpents sir for the fairest treasure of all for the bonnie wee moth back home!” Tattle said, also throwing a salute.
The titan snorted at that, both hands now coming up to cup the two to his chest, “Then let’s get to it then,” The process of diving had been one he had figured out on their last outing and as silly as it sounded, it had been from observing sperm whales diving after floundering in the surf as he got a crash course in actually swimming. That though was an embarrassment that could stay in the African oceans.
“Do the noise!” Prattle yelled.
“Got to warn the sea life we are coming down!” Tattle agreed.
The titan snorted before letting the loud alarms that were meant to be used for when he was backing out in the hangar go off as he leaned backwards, giving a burst of his jets to start singing back. A horde of bubbles started to be released as he emptied out the air, causing him to start to sink, head down into the ocean. The world was plunged into that muffled sound of the ocean, almost silence save the aching rumble of the moving water around them. The light remained with them for a while, flickering deep along the scattering swarms of fish, but rather quickly, the waters began to darken. Then the cold and pressure started to be felt like a creak against his form, like the world was reaching a hand up to wrap around him, but there was a peace in the slow drift downwards, the light starting to wane and the darkness coming in, filled with strange life. The light of his camera seemed to go nowhere in the dark, like lighting a candle in a cave.
The descent remained slow and steady though, bubbles now a mere trickle. Soon though the sea floor came into sight and the titan shifted, righting himself up to touch down feet first into the silt of the ocean bottom.
He looked down briefly to his hands to see Tattle and Prattle, both giving a thumbs up which he returned before lifting both to one of his shoulder cameras to hold onto as he started to move forward. Walking in the ocean was strange. More weighty than walking on hand and much slower, like every step had to be a monumental effort forward. The light from his camera head panned left and right over the rocky bottom, sending the multitude of deep sea creatures skittering in every direction. There were carcasses down here from long dead sea creatures. The slow steady bubbling of deep sea vents giving the landscape a smoky churned feeling.
He imagined this might be what it would be like to walk in outer space along the surface of some alien world, searching out for lost treasure or resources in the near darkness. Each footfall giving a dull echo in the strange world beneath the waves. Both Prattle and Tattle had a hand up over their camera lens, peering about as well.
The Titan only paused as the light of his camera fell over something more unnatural to the landscape. Crusted metal emerged up from the bottom jagged and torn as if something long ago had ripped through it. The titan slowed, dropping down to carefully rub a finger along the wreck, brushing away more sand and debris to reveal the shell of some old ship, a large one at that. The remains of the ship looked like some sort of warship, albeit an old on. Tattle and Prattle dropped down from the shoulder slowly, thunking onto the metal and starting to walk around like a pair of old men at a construction sight, examining it before looking back up at the titan.
<< Old metal laddies. We got booty!>> Prattle signed quickly.
<< World War II warship I think>> Tattle signed back, <<It has a date under the name here>>
The titan shifted the camera gaze to the remnants of some name. The S.S. Cantigny still clung to the hall with a proud date of 1938 under it, declaring the day it went out to sea. An odd addition, but the ship itself seemed odd as more of it was brush clean. There was an odd design, like it was more experimental in terms of a warship, more guns and less room for crew quarters.
Tattle was moving over to the hole in the side, peering in before Prattle gave him a good-natured kick in, flashing a thumbs up before dropping down. The titan gave a garbled hum in the water, wings flexing out as he gave a glance about, more checking to make sure no giant squids were about. He was more than sure squids, even giant ones, weren’t suppose to get as big as the one he fought last time in the waters of the Atlantic. Maybe something in this war was starting to cause the wildlife to get larger than normal or messed with evolution. It was hard to tell what was possible with the skibidi invasion and how quickly their infection had spread. All the Titan Cameraman knew was he really wasn’t in the mood to punch out a squid, given his weaponry didn’t work as efficiently in the water.
Luckily, the abyssal waters remained dark and undisturbed and the titan settled more, relaxing, and just enjoying the silence. Like a sensory deprivation chamber, there was something peaceful about being down there, away from the world, just settling in. Idly he looked over the haul of the ship, one hand reaching to idly run along the deck and large guns. The Titan Cameraman paused as his finger disturbed something, lens focusing as he watched a phone of all things float up briefly. Not particularly odd to find on a boat. Probably was some military phone one of the people on board held.
There was some thunking inside and the titan paused, turning back to the entrance and watching as Tattle and Prattle emerged, pushing out what appeared to be a large safe, sealed tight and looking rather eager at their find. The titan held out his hand, catching the safe, looking down at the two.
<<Water tight! What’s inside might still be in good condition!>> Tattle eagerly signed.
<<A really weird ship in there. A lot of phones everywhere>> Prattle added, <<I didn’t know the military used so many phones>>
Tattle paused before holding up something then to show the titan, the glint of gold seen as Tattle signed, <<We found a locket that was empty! Super fancy! We can put your picture in it and give it to Optical!>>
The titan gave an embarrassed whirl of his wing struts at that, shaking his head as he held out his hand to him. Once the two were in hand, he pushed off the ground, engaging engines and rising back up through the water. The break of the surface and into light and sound was almost a bit much and the titan’s lens had to flick on and off a few times to adjust as he took air back in and flopped back into floating position, dropping the chest and the two cameraman on his chest once more.
“Now that was a weird little romp, that was for sure!” Prattle said with a snort, “So many phones, you would think maybe the so-called phonemen really were bouncing around earth!”
“Phonemen?”
The titan cocked his head to the side, regarding the two. Tattle and Prattle shared a look before the latter waved a hand, “Eh, just something crazy a co-worker of ours goes on and on about,” he said, “Space phone people that supposedly lived on earth and served in both great wars before yeeting themselves into space or something,”
Tattle gave a hum, “Kind of crazy stuff, but fun to listen to, you know?”
“Oh,”
“Anyways, we got to get a really nice picture of you now when we get back. Maybe sitting, looking out to sea, all yearning Victorian widow style and put that picture in this locket,” Prattle said holding up the locket.
“That seems a bit much,”
“Your engineer must always be able to see you and do the “Do it for Him” mean while staring into your soulful lens,” Tattle said, clasping his hands.
“To my one and only, I’ll always be your phone call away,” Prattle read from the engraving on the locket, “How romantic!”
The Titan huffed, although that tell-tale embarrassed whir of internal systems heating up rumbled in his chest, “Oh come off it. It isn’t like that,”
“Oh please! You are the lamp to his moth!” Prattle teased, clasping his hands and wiggling about.
“His wool sweater that he must devour like the snack you are,” Tattle added, putting the palm of his hand against the top of his camera, pretending to swoon.
“His lobster to his lobster that will hold hands forever and never let go!” They said together, clasping their own hands together dramatically, looking up.
The titan stared at the two of them before reaching down to flick both of them off and back into the water, “You are not being very bro right now,”
Prattle and Tattle yelped as they floundered in the water before managing to pull themselves back on, both of them huffing and stamping around now.
“We are just trying to be supportive!” Prattle huffed.
“Not our fault all of the Alliance talks about it!” Tattle grumbled.
“Even Paralipsis knows and if he knows, you can bet the TV Titanman probably knows and might tease you about it!” Prattle pointed a finger at the titan, “So you better hold a press conference with Optical to set the record straight!”
“I am not going to do a press conference about that,”
“Then endure the teasing, the rumors, the salacious accusations!”
The titan snorted, moving to lightly pick up the safe, examining it up in the light, “You two need to get off the Alliance Gossip Chat Groups is what you need to do and I don’t really care what Titan Tvman thinks,”
Prattle gave a snort, flopping back to sit, “I guess. Plenty rumors about him and Titan Speakerman too.”
“You could write a book on the gossip about the titans honestly. Like Hollywood stars, everyone has opinions about your personal lives,” Tattle gave a shrug, looking up now at the safe, “What do you suppose is in it?”
“Not sure,” the titan held it carefully one hand, the door pointed upwards, “Let’s find out,”
Carefully, he squeezed the front, popping the front door off like it was nothing. A hiss of air escaped before he lowered it down to the two cameramen on his chest. Eagerly, Tattle and Prattle moved forward, peering into it. There was silence for a long moment as the took looked up.
“It is full of papers and a bottle of what looks like whiskey,” Tattle murmured.
“Oh no, there is a cigar in here too,” Prattle said, taking out the aforementioned item, “And like, two hundred dollars,”
“I guess that is kind of like finding pirate booty,” Tattle said, pulling out one of the papers to read it, “Uh, lots of numbers,”
Prattle snatched the papers, “Give me that! You can’t read pass a fifth grade level anyways!”
“Hey bro! That’s hurtful!” Tattle whined.
The bow-tie wearing cameraman stared hard at the paper, tilting his head one way, then the other, “Huh,”
The titan shifted, fixing the cameraman with a curious flex of the lens, “What?”
“Talking about some special forces on board that tried to abandon ship and run off. Looks like they accidental sunk themselves in the scuffle?”
Prattle shook his head, “Eh, I can take the papers to Hubble and see what he says. Sounds like secret conspiracy stuff,”
“Like phone stuff,” Tattle teased.
“Phone stuff,” the titan murmured, “He really believes there is another faction out there?”
“Space phones that we can recruit to help us or something,” Prattle shoved the papers back in, shaking his head, “As I said, silly beliefs. Personally, I say we should focus more on tracking skibidi bigfoot,”
“Skibidi bigfoot?”
“Totally a real thing. Stole stuff from the construction site,” Prattle said with a nod.
“We got it on camera but Paralipsis told us we are idiots and that it was just a raccoon, but we know better! We are actually making plans to go hunt skibidi bigfoot,” Tattle said, pausing before brightening up, “You should come with us!”
“I don’t know. Optical-”
“Bring Optical with you!” Prattle said, voice eager, “He can help us find skibidi bigfoot!”
The titan considered the thought before sighing, “I don’t know. I wouldn’t know how to bring him to such a thing against his will,”
“Put him in a jar!”
“A really big jar!”
Titan Cameraman stared at the two incredulously, “So you want me to put my engineer in a giant jar and bring him out to the woods to hunt skibidi bigfoot?”
“It would be a bonding exercise,” Tattle said, giving a thumbs up.
“It would be good for his health to come out and touch grass and capture the most elusive toilet cryptoid of all,” Prattle added, giving his own thumbs up.
“I’ll think about it,”
The titan let his head fall back against the water, shutting off his camera, just floating in the water, “How long do we still have out here?”
“About an hour before I think they might start really asking questions about your scouting mission with Titan Speakerman, which I must say, he’s a super bro to be covering you,” Prattle said with a sage nod.
The titan chuckled, “We are covering each other. He wanted some time away from the hangar, so we said we totally were going on patrol together,”
“Bro behavior,” Prattle said with a sage nod.
“The power of broship is strong in you two,” Tattle agreed, “One day we should double-bro date or something!”
“Double...bro-date?”
“If you can’t take your bro out on a date, you just aren’t ready to commit to full broship,” Prattle said with a sigh.
“Got to take your bro to a nice dinner, movie, and snuggle up and have heartfelt conversations sometimes,” Tattle said with a shrug, “That’s just bro things,”
“And if you maybe kiss, that’s just what happens sometimes between bros,”
The titan stared at them, “...really?”
Prattle and Tattle both nodded, giving a thumbs up. “Just go with that feeling of intense bro that comes into your soul,”
“And sometimes that intense feeling is you love your bro so much, you got to kiss him, hands gently caressing behind the head-”
“Leaned in while careless whispers plays-”
“Maybe someone ends up with their shirt on the floor-”
“Just bro things!”
The titan just stared at the two before sighing and flopping back against the water again to float, “Right. Bro things,”
He wasn’t sure if that was bro things, but being a bro seemed to be a complicated thing. He certain didn’t want to do that with Titan Tvman despite calling him bro and vice versa. The tyrant of the TV faction was a standoffish sort and really didn’t care much for the company of others outside other TVs. However, there were other people that could be bros that he felt things like that for.
According to Prattle and Tattle, it was okay to try those things.
It was okay if it was your bros.
The titan gave a sigh, letting his gaze go back to the sky as he half listened to Prattle and Tattle giggling to themselves over some fresh gossip they had about their head engineer apparently making a nice gift for some TV and the two wondering if there was something going on. Then onto some chatter about some big fancy “Glow Party” that they wanted to figure out how to get into because apparently it was one of those things that was not to be missed. Titan Cameraman was more than content to just listen to them go off on the gossip.
Just some time to properly relax, enjoying the day, and not try to figure out the strange secrets of the bro code.