Energy work feels exhausting. Clearing my head feels exhausting and maybe not quite possible. I haven’t set out any offerings but tea and water, which I feel kind of crappy about. Interestingly that feeling seems to be alllll me, none of them: They seem a lot more sympathetic than anything else. I guess flu plus new puppy plus spiritual storm is enough of a load to carry without adding to it? Or maybe they just like me enough not to want me to make myself more sick by way of exhaustion.
Normally it’s Loki who’ll sit next to me in bed but the last few nights -- and afternoons, and mornings -- it’s felt more like Freyr’s stretched up behind or in front of me, holding me. It is so ridiculously comforting. And Loki’s not gone, either, but maybe more like petting my head, or leaning into my shoulder while I’m sitting up and doing something, or being an amused and fond companion for the o-dark-thirty walks. And they’re both just so… tangible, in ways I wouldn’t have expected but which are incredibly nice. Maybe it’s easier to come through when my brain’s already exhausted out of the monkey-track, maybe they’re just showing up more and more clearly because I’m not feeling well, maybe it’s my commitment to at very least try not to self-sabotage by writing myself off as hallucinating the best sort of wish-fulfillment.
