#order writes

[thisistheorderofthings]

i dream of forgiveness

of you, here, with me

i dream of waking up

in a house where you still live

i dream of our lives so intertwined

every room a mosaic

of our separate natures mixed

i dream of forgiveness

and i wake to exactly what i deserve

[thisistheorderofthings]

ive never had a bruise i didnt press

a wound i didnt make scab over twice

even when i couldn't

remember where i got it

[thisistheorderofthings]

i am devoted to you

like a vulture to a

soon-to-be corpse

what i wouldnt give

to swallow you whole

[thisistheorderofthings]

i am the motion blur

and i am infinite recursive hands

reaching out to you

and you have never met me

i have known every instance of you

[thisistheorderofthings]

more than i wish

i could reach inside of myself

and remove the part of me

that is wrong and hurting

the part that has ruined

so many good days

i wish i could fix for you

every single thing in your life

that makes it less than

you wish it could be

[thisistheorderofthings]

i have only ever been a means to an end

a child to show off

a soldier to train

impersonal

my own murder wasnt even about me

[thisistheorderofthings]

i didnt want this to be a tragedy

to be looked at with pity

with knowing

i didnt want to be loved so briefly

only for everyone to die in the final act

[thisistheorderofthings]

i miss the feeling of a lost tooth

an ache, a void waiting to be filled

something in you meant to come loose

a loss born to be felt