#origin: reddit

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Taylor: Bankers, what is the protocol for if/when someone puts bees in one of your tube things?  Taylor: I do not plan on doing this, but it dawned on me that anyone can just show up to deposit a check, and instead of depositing a check in the tube, they can deposit bees and send them into the bank.   Taylor: Are you prepared to deal with this? 

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Victoria: i was raised as an only child

Victoria: it really fucked up my sister

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Tattletale: *Preparing a cup* Coffee or tea?

Victoria: Tea

Tattletale: Wrong, it's coffee *takes a sip*

Victoria: ...

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Victoria: How petty can you get?

Tattletale: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

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Aisha: If you had to separate your dog from 49 other identical dogs that were all equally excited to see you, how would you determine which dog was yours?

Rachel: I would take my 50 dogs home and live like a king.

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Bonesaw entered a bodybuilding competition and was promptly left embarrassed when she realized that she’d severely misunderstood the objective.

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“I kept the peace in a wide area of the city after a devastating Endbringer attack, but do they call me Taylor the Peacekeeper? No. I spent years taking down villainous gangs in Chicago, but do they call me Taylor the Crime Fighter? No. I made durable suits, enough that they became standard-issue for the Protectorate, but do they call me Taylor the Tailor? No. But you shoot one toddler.

Taylor

[incorrect-wormquotes]

Julien: Honey, you were adopted. Kenzie: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents! Julien: We are your biological parents.  Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.