–Hi sir, how are you today?
–I’m good! Well, kind of. Do you ever feel like the world’s zigging and you’re just trying to zag and go against the grain and be different and not just be another one of the fourteen billion humans that ever existed, and then you realise you’re not zagging, you’re just adrift with all the other hipsters and you all have the same fucking vinyl player and the same artisan flat white?
–One flat white, on its way.









