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My Thoughts on OSLC 35 (and don't worry...they're good thoughts!)

So this was my second OSLC, and again, I feel withdrawal upon returning home! Three days with some of the most inspiring speakers, amazing students, and teachers I have ever had the pleasure of meeting!

I unfortunately missed out on the bus ride there and back (I seriously enjoy the bus rides...all the singing, laughing, and occasionally sleeping) because I had a TEDxYouth Toronto meeting, which I had to attend (also, that is happening next weekend, so I'll be posting about that after the event is over). I rushed from downtown Toronto to Niagara Falls, and it reminded me of the time I drove to Niagara Falls for my friend's wedding. It also reminded me of the time I spent driving alone to Buffalo. It brought back memories of school, and all the silly things that seemed important at the time, that looking back now, are not. There were things that plagued my mind at that time, but I have not thought about them since then. It's weird how life changes, and you only realize your growth until you look back and where you've come from.

Anyway, once I reach the conference, I got the biggest (and probably one of the greatest) hugs from all the girls; I was ready to cry (and am actually tearing up thinking about it now...man I'm soft!) Followed by questions of, "so what are you up to now?" Though it's a simple question, I feel I don't have an answer. I mean, there's a part of me that feels something big is coming; something that is going to change my life and career path, but I just haven't discovered it yet. I guess that's why that question is so hard to answer. That, and to be honest, I'm just living life, and trying to not stress out too much about life. All my life I have taken myself too seriously, and have always been far too stressed out. I'm taking this year to detox, and hopefully, become a little stronger (inshallah).

I just realized, if I give you a play-by-play of the conference, it would take an entire book, and let's be honest, "ain't nobody got time for that!" So I'm going to end off with the reflection/speaking session we had with all the students. I remember last year, being embarrassed on expressing my feelings to such a large group. I'm much better in smaller groups, or one-on-one. Larger groups make me feel embarrassed; there are too many eyes on me. People are usually surprised by that, since I tend to talk a lot, and tend to be loud. Remember, I have stage fright, that's why I can't sing in front of people (but I'm working on it). Wow, I've digressed. So this year was no exception. I was contemplating on what to talk about. I decided that maybe I'd talk about making changes, and that one person can make such a big difference (I was also going to make a shameless TEDxYouth Toronto plug). Then, at the last second, I changed my mind. I decided to talk about manners, kindness, chivalry, and all that jazz. I might be overreacting, but I've noticed that common courtesy has been disappearing. I mean, simple things as responding to messages, calling someone back promptly, are only done when something is needed. Not just because it's courteous to respond promptly. Helping people carry heavy boxes, or holding doors open for people...without being asked! I mean, I know sometimes I say I can do all those things on my own, and I feel weird about it when someone asks. However, that's mostly because I'd feel bad that they're doing all the hard work and I'm not helping, or I'm inconveniencing them somehow. Though nowadays, I smile and say thank you, and let people help me out sometimes. You know why? They asked, and I know when I offer to help someone, I feel good when they take my help. I hope that doesn't sound too rude.

Now, where was I? Oh right, the talk we had with the students. So I spoke a little bit about that. Yes, it was nothing earth shattering, and all the other teachers (and even the students) had so many better things to say, but that was my rant. I don't know if effected anyone, but it was nice to see one of the students going out of his way to hold the door open for other people. I almost teared up, because I felt so happy someone actually took what I said to heart. It wasn't a big gesture, but it did make my day.

This conference was an emotional one for me. I don't remember tearing up this much last year; I guess it brought up a lot of memories. I know I try to act as positive as I can, but there are some days, I'm positively miserable. Alhamdulillah, I was lucky enough that I had family and friends to help me through any rough patches in my life. I became a teacher so that I could influence and help students be more positive; to be that person who is always there for them, when they're at their lowest. I know it sounds lame, and kind of cliche, but it's true.

I really have so many thought right now, I'm actually losing direction on my post. I'm just going to end off saying that this was such a great conference. Alhamdulillah, I'm so glad I was able to attend! I almost wouldn't have, if the place where I work wasn't so awesome! I know I'm not teaching, but they seriously are such an amazing, and talented group of people to work with! I told them about the conference, and they said that I should share my experience with them at the next "huddle" (what we call our morning meetings). They're as dedicated as I am to making a difference in the world. I'm hoping to learn some valuable lessons here, and inshallah, they will help me with my ultimate goal making a change. I'm not sure WHAT that change is, but like I said, I feel something big is about to happen...and I'm kind of excited to see what that is.

I'm going to take my thoughts, and have some lovely dreams. Alhamdulillah, seriously blessed with so much. I don't know how Allah can keep allowing me to have such amazing experiences, go on such wonderful adventures and meet so many fantastic people! It is truly inspiring and humbling at the same time.

Okay, that's it, time for bed.

#OSLC35 #Thoughts #So many feelings #I'm so sorry this ended up being longer than it should have #All over the place #Cathartic #Writing