Where to start?
I found out a few weeks ago that the MACI graft on the femoral condyle of my knee that I got done 10 years ago has finally started breaking down. (It broke down in a spectacularly public way too - one that left me standing in the middle of my workplace, unable to walk and in so much pain i couldn't think straight.)
I'm in so much pain. An MRI showed that I have cartilage and bone fragments loose in my knee, and the bruising to the bone in my knee goes inches into the marrow. It looks so so so much worse than the last time this happened.
I've seen an OS already and have surgery scheduled for a months time, but only a microfracture surgery to the bone this time. Though the OS was open with me about the possibility that they will have to do a bone transplant in my knee of the damage is too severe when they get in there. I don't want a bone transplant - it means stem cells have to be harvested, it means open knee surgery again, it means lots of pain and a long recovery process.
I'm scared. Not much scares me, but this does. I still remember waking up screaming and sobbing in pain after my last surgery. The microfracture surgery is not going to be pleasant, but I can handle an arthroscopy. I just have this fear that I'll wake up after the surgery to be told that a bone transplant is my only option. I'm in knee surgery support groups - I know how bad the pain is for this kind of thing.
What can I do but roll with the punches though? 🤷♀️🙃🤣
Anyway, I also caught covid a few weeks ago, and I'm slowly recovering from that. It was so so so much worse than I thought it would be.
Oh - and I'm trying to catch up on all my pop vinyl commissions. Apologies if you're waiting on me to reply. I've been distracted by pain, fear and plague. And work - but that's very usual!
