She's out there again. Sat in the truck. I'll just pretend I'm oblivious, again. I don't know how stupid she thinks I am, when she brings the clunky trunk into the drive and then leaves with it again. A few times she's made it to the front door before changing her mind and turning around. She says I'm boring, but in all honesty it's just that I have nothing to say to her anymore. With anyone else, I'm fine, but I just don't know what to do with myself when I'm around her. Do I feel betrayed? A little I guess. But I suppose anyone would if they knew full well their girlfriend was knocking around with some other guy a couple of nights a week. But I'm honestly not angry. If I had the ability to completely not give a fuck about people like Iriss does, I'd be out there doing the same thing right now. No that's harsh. Iriss is the loveliest person you will ever meet, it's just her judgement is clouded sometimes. A lot of the time. I could be out doing the same thing right now.
But I'm not. I'm here on the sofa, waiting for her to come home. What for? So I can carry on pretending I don't know, and that everything is fine. But we both stopped making an effort to make it believable a long time ago.
For fuck sake.