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Nov 25 to Dec 2. For seven days we’re not just staying quiet. We’re refusing their system: no spending, no projects, no comfort.
Because if the money stops, the machine grinds. This isn’t consumer guilt. It’s strategic pressure. Join the blackout. Make the silence count.
It seems that you are holding on, that all the pain that surrounds you is permeating you, under control. And then you see the pain of a person from your country, but from another city, and it is felt as personal, as general, it is too much and it becomes impossible to contain it.
Here I usually don’t publish anything from my life, from the horror in which we live. Here for me is a place where I can get distracted, live a normal, ordinary life, discuss what I like, share what I want to share. It's so easy to be a little happy here. Warm, friendly place. It’s a pity, I haven’t had much strength to draw lately, I feel exhausted.
We are almost used to it, it has become such a part of life, a routine. As it seems. But someone experiences grief and you realize how many wounds there are in your soul, because they all start to bleed.
I live in Odesa, Ukraine. It's a beautiful coastal city and I'm not leaving no matter what. This is my home. And it is being shelled very heavily because we have a port through which huge reserves of Ukrainian grain sailed to all countries of the world. And to this day our grain, which farmers grow under fire, die while collecting it, feeds a huge number of people. Who knows, maybe the bread on your table has traveled this path.
russian occupiers fired at granaries, at our residential buildings, at civilian facilities, at power plants. They deliberately terrorize civilians to force them to surrender or leave.
A few weeks ago, a shell hit a residential building. The entire part of a residential building from the ninth floor to the first ceased to exist.
It’s good that yesterday I had almost no electricity, no Internet, and no water either due to the fact that the russians again shelled the city power plant, depriving the residents of my city of normal life for some time, because massive shelling of Zaporozhye and other the cities of my country have stirred up too much grief in me and what I could have published yesterday, I’d rather keep to myself. Too much pain and anger.
I will only say that over the past few weeks in my dear Odesa there have been several tragic events that are painfully felt.
In early March, a shell hit a residential building with sleeping people. It seems that this was one of the Iranian "Shaheds" that iran so generously sells to russia. The entire part of house from floor 9 to floor 1 was crushed, many people, many children died. A wife and newborn baby were killed by the ceiling, while her husband and eldest daughter slept in another room and escaped. In this photo, this poor man still hopes that he is still a husband and not a widower, and that he is the father of two children, not one. Do you know what the occupiers do in the comments with such news? They laugh and mock.
A whole family - husband and wife and three children died there. Only the eldest boy, who was visiting his grandmother, survived, and I don’t want to imagine what it’s like to lose two parents and all brothers and sisters.
This house is of a standard construction, there are dozens of them in the city, and at first I thought it was my mother’s house.
I knew about the dead children and it was painful, but yesterday I saw a photo of one of the children killed by the russians and that was the last straw that simply tore me apart. I saw the photo without blur, but if anyone is interested, here is the blurred photo.
В Одесі продовжується пошуково-рятувальна операція у багатоповерхівці, в яку влучили росіяни. На жаль, з-під завалів ввечері 3 березня діста
My little son sleeps the same way sometimes, curled up. And many kids around the world have such pajamas with Batman. And all mothers try to do everything to protect their children. But I won’t be able to protect my child from an iranian piece of iron launched by russian monsters that can destroy 9 floors. There is no metro in my city, and it is impossible to dig such deep and fortified shelters in a built-up city. All we can do is hide in the corridor so that we are not cut down by glass fragments or shrapnel shells, as happened on March 15th, when these orcs first hit one house, waited for rescuers and emergency services to arrive and then hit him. Terrorists.
I want to say thank you to everyone who supports us, because without your help, they would have destroyed all our cities, as they have already destroyed many on the border with them, along with their inhabitants. I want to say that the UN is the most useless organization in the world, but ordinary people from all countries have shown us what compassion and support is, thank you. And I know several residents of the russian federation who are very pure in soul and are themselves horrified by what is happening, but why the majority of russians so happily supported the war and the next genocide that they are again committing here is a mystery to me. And I’m not interested in solving it, just as it wouldn’t be interesting to sort out the psychological problems of orcs. They do not spare their inhabitants, and destroy their neighbors with pleasure.
I didn’t want to spoil this weekend for you with my grief, my plans were to show some sketches, discuss ideas stored up during the week, show some great screenshots and very beautiful or funny AI generations. But I just can't do it yet. Because sometimes you feel as if most of the time you continue to try to enjoy life, despite everything that happens, as if you are splashing on the very surface of the ocean in warm water under the sun in a cheerful company, and you can temporarily forget about the dark waters in the depths and all the monsters below until they grab you and drag you down.
Our vanished cities
So I think I need to catch my breath a little. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Girl just unexpectedly released a video today. And revealed the new title track - *KARMA* !!! REALLY TAYLOR!!! AND THEN YOU LAUGH AT OUR FACE??? LIKE YOU KNOW THAT YOU SENT US SPIRALLING!!!
I know that I'm not going to recover from Karma anytime soon 🤧
You can just see that she's having so much fun in our pain...
Some people just like to see the world BURN!
God's design in our pain enables us to look back and say: He loves me enough to take me where I would have never wanted to go in order to produce in me what I never could have achieved on my own.
Paul David Tripp
OUGHHHHHHHHHH
Mental Health Exposed
Grey skies enclose the sea of the deepest blue. A blue so deep that it appears black as the night. Waves crash and roll, and they create havoc on a lone soul, who is lost in this ocean. Direction is incalculable as there are no land marks, no stars can be seen in the grey sky, the waves come from every which direction, so which way is the right way to escape the never-ending ocean.
A plank of wood is the only comfort for the lone soul in this ocean. However, only when the sea is calm does the soul not become soiled with the ocean's saltiness; the salt dehydrates and causes pain upon the poor soul. This soul is lost, in pain, tired of fighting the ocean, exhausted from the waves, delusional from the same surroundings, and swimming in a field loneliness.
Occasionally does some blessing fall upon the lost soul. A fresh sip of life brings the exhausted soul back to life, barely though. As it's just a cruel reminder of what life used to be and what being alive really felt like. The ocean seems inescapable, killing faith and belief of being happy and healthy once again.
Memories of the soul's past flood its mind constantly. Thoughts of family and friends and what it feels like to be loved and missed. These thoughts provide a little motivation to leave the ocean, but something is calming about the sounds of the waves. Something is just so peaceful about the loneliness yet depressing. It is a seesaw of emotions that the soul feels, loneliness and crashing wavesor floating peacefully and alone. The stress of the soul's life feels pointless as the soul feels so close to death.
Hopelessness is the strongest of this souls emotions. If the soul makes it back to shore what is it become of it's life. So much will be different, so much will be missed, "So what is so important about leaving the neverending sea?", the soul wonders. No one can answer this question except the soul, yet the hopeless soul doesn't know where to go, what direction to choose. It just floats alone and feels like a pathetic excuse for a soul, without the will to live. Yet sometimes the soul wishes someone else would save it, someone would come along and help it escape the ocean.
Irrational thoughts swirl like a hurricane in the depressed soul's mind. "I was meant to suffer." "Life wasn't meant for me." Yet sometimes the soul remembers it's friends laughing, it's family smiling, it's child growing happily. This is what kept the soul moving forward to find a way out. These are the things that motivated the soul even just a little. The sea was rough but the soul wanted to be tougher.
The soul fought the waves, to the left, to the right, forward and backwards. The souls traveled forever and ever towards an unknown destination. It hoped to be saved, by anyone, anything. However the waves were strong, too strong, and the soul once again became unmotivated, lost, and hopeless. Once again the soul was left wondering what good was living such an unhappy life. The soul contemplated ending its own life, yet something nagged and nagged at the soul to not go forth with such an act, so the soul didn't.
The helpless soul, left with it's thoughts, was miserable. "Maybe I was a bad person. Maybe I was a bad parent. Maybe I wasn't good enough to live a happy life. What caused this misery to fall upon me?", the soul wondered and wondered many things. Yet it was a one sided battle of negativity. The soul was lost in it's own mind. Hatred, sadness, loneliness, anger, etc were the emotions this sad, sad soul felt.
What do you think caused this poor soul to carry on? What do you think made the lone soul continue? You may not know, the lone soul probably doesn't know either. This is the problem with mental health. People do not understand what it needed by a person but they force things such as "You should just be happy" on a person. If you tell the person to travel right in the ocean do you think ultimately they will find what they are looking for. They don't know which direction is right or left, the ocean is never-ending and there is no form of guidance. So, maybe yes, maybe no, but this is the never-ending problems within mental health. Which way is right? Which way will make things better or worse? Honestly like being lost in the ocean it may be unknown to every poor lost soul, as someone who is depressed in their own life.
Happiness is not as simple as being happy. Some people may believe this or just simply be happy, but for some people it is as complicated as a mathematical equation where you deal with imaginary numbers and letters. Happiness is not simply achievable by the people who suffer mental health problems. It is not a simple smile+ positive emotion= happiness, it is more like happiness= self esteem- self hatred+ a reason to live ÷ suicidal thoughts × coping mechanisms + ^2 of therapy + medicine + rerouting one's thoughts, etc. Sounds complicated huh, well it is. This is the complexity of mental health that happy people don't understand.
So maybe once and a while don't simple ask, "How are you?", ask, "How are you feeling today?" A simple change in words actually may change how someone responds about how they are lately. If I was to respond to how are you I'd say fine, but if I was to respond to how are you feeling today I'd say anxious with a serious side of depression. Now not all people may open up like this, with a change of words. Some people may take reading signs and understanding tone, some people may need a little push, and some may need a release of pressure to let go of such information.
Somwtimes it is as simple as not treating someone shitty at the grocery store for a price increase. People need to understand that words can hurt, they can push someone over the edge, good day or bad day. Words hurt, whether you mean them to or not. Emotions hurt, not understanding how someone feels or sensing the pain and struggling may cause issues. Mental health is so much more complicated than people assume.
As someone who suffers with mental issues, I wish people understood so much more about mental health. I hate that people think its as simple as be happy or get on some meds. Sometimes it's so much harder than that. Think about this, hard, long, what if your brother, sister, daughter, son, mother, father, aunt, uncle, etc. felt the desire to kill themselves, what would you truly do to help? I'm sure be happy wouldn't be your response. So maybe treat everyone this way, everyone has the right to live on this planet, whether you believe it or not. These people have family, friends, animals, etc. that mean that they mean the world to. Think about this again, happiness= self esteem- self hatred+ a reason to live ÷ suicidal thoughts × coping mechanisms + ^2 of therapy + medicine + rerouting one's thoughts, etc.
Our Pain - Harry Potter
Fandom: Harry Potter.
Rate: Everyone.
Summary: When Harry finds himself unnable to sleep, Lupin and he talk about their lost family. (A drabble that talks about how much Lily, James and Sirious mean to Remus and Harry. Between the fifth and sixth books)
Words: 800+
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“Remus?”
Lupin moved his eyes away from the stars, looking back as Harry walked to him, curiosity in his eyes. Lupin smiled, turning his body to the young boy while leaning on the rail.
“Yes, Harry? What are you doing here so late?”
“I saw a shadow outside and realised it was you. I got curious” he said, walking to him and also leaning on the rail. “I couldn’t really sleep, to be honest. Nightmares, you know? Anyway, what are you doing here alone?”
